Search for #hashtags, @writers or keywords

Posts Liked by seanieoh

Autocorrect has not yet learned how much I swear and how little I talk about ducks.

87

If you consider the price per kilo,
the powder in a Nespresso capsule should be white.

100

I was so close to sneezing but couldn't.
I get it ladies. I finally get it.

66

The war on drugs brought in more drugs.
The war on terror created more terrorists.
Maybe next year we can have a war on money and jobs and see where it goes . . .

114

my therapist is crying.

maybe it was a little too much for him...

86

Today would be a great day to leave a note on a random car saying: " I know what you did"

117

I ordered a life alert bracelet, if I ever get a life I'll be notified immediately.

91

I'm not great at advice, can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?

108

I know the voices aren't real but man do they come up with some great ideas

117

If you ever feel sad remember that there's a number you can call and a pizza will be there in 30 minutes.

113

I will stop wearing black when another colour becomes equally as dark.

97

MILLION DOLLAR IDEA.

A SMOKE DETECTOR THAT TURNS OFF WHEN YOU YELL "I'M JUST COOKING FOR FUCKS SAKE"

99

Strange new trend at the office. People putting names on food in the company fridge. Today I had a tuna sandwich named Linda.

133

be the kind of gentleman that holds the door
open for your girl, but smacks her ass as she walks in.

127

A group of kids is called a migraine.

111

Light is easy to love.

Show me your darkness.

175

Put someone's genitals into your mouth and no one bats an eye

eat a chip off the ground and everyone loses their minds.

95

Summer is here. I'm so excited. I wet my plants.

125

I always start phone conversations with "my phone is about to die.." just so people don't waste my time.

238

The world is full of nice people. If you can't find one...

be one.

324

Unless you can question your own beliefs, you have no place questioning the beliefs of others.

202

Sorry ladies, but I already got my eyes on a woman who's not interested.

214

"I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself."

148

My body is a temple...

Unfortunately,
I have no respect for religion.

142

I wish the voices in my head would at least take turns.

161

If you look like your passport photo, the likelihood is that you need the holiday

146

the lion and tiger might be powerful...
but the wolf does not perform in the circus

316

People keep asking me "how's it going" like I have any idea what's going on at any point.

184

I fear the people who can bite ice cream.

243

Staring is caring.

118

does running away from my problems count as jogging?

278

To make a long story short, don't tell it.

226

I'M ON THAT NEW DIET WHERE YOU EAT EVERYTHING AND HOPE FOR A BIG MIRACLE.

244

If you're in a fairytale and you're a single woman over the age of 35, chances are you're evil.

224

If you listen real closely, you can hear my alarm clock laughing as I set it.

292

I'm multitasking,

I can listen, ignore and forget at the same time

393

I'm not saying I did terrible things last night, but Satan woke up on my couch and won't make eye contact with me...

245

Today a feminist asked me how I view lesbian relationships.....apparently "in HD" was not the right answer...

345

Porn is so unrealistic. I just took a shower with my boyfriend and all he did was stand in the corner shivering for 20 minutes while he handed me a bunch of shampoos.

131

Half of my feelings are doubts about the other half of my feelings.

232

Your pants say yoga, but your ass says McDonalds!

204

Did you know that if you put your ear up a strangers leg you can hear them say:
What the fuck are you doing?!?

258

When people tell me I'm insane, the voice in my head tells me I'm normal.

1

I followed my heart and it led me into the fridge.

278

No matter what kind of instant noodles you buy, they all taste like poverty and loneliness.

181

Normal is getting
dressed in clothes
that you buy for work
& driving through traffic
in a car that you are still paying for - in order to get to the job you need to pay for the clothes and the car, aaaand the house you leave vacant all day so you can afford to leave in it...

171

If I wanted to please everyone, I were born as Nutella

311

Never trust a warm toilet seat

303

The things about beards; they kind of grow on you.

150

Porn titles always lack depth and imagination. Yes, we all know college girl is trying anal for the 1st time, but what's her major? Her dreams?

151

If you're looking for sympathy, you'll find it in the dictionary between shit and syphillis!

407

I love waving at random people, because you know for the rest of the day they're trying to figure out who the hell you were.

788

Telling a girl to "calm down" is like trying to baptize a cat.

566

Today, 2 year olds can unlock an iPhone, open and close their favorite apps all by themselves.

When I was that age,
I was eating dirt.

617

Voices in your head - normal

Listening to them - common

Arguing with them - acceptable

Losing the argument - BIG PROBLEM

703

The best sign of a healthy relationship is no sign of it on Facebook.

823

life is what happens when you put your phone down.

928

My internet was down for 5 minutes so I went downstairs and spoke to my family.

They seem like nice people.

1135

i just burnt my tongue on some food

they say the ones you love hurt you the most

797

My immaturity keeps me young.

470

I HOPE YOUR DAY IS AS NICE AS YOUR BUTT

1035

Ego is a race.
And in this race, the winner is the loser.

453

My doctor asked if anyone in my family was suffering from mental illness. I said; "no, we all seem to enjoy it"

812

I love making people who don't like me hate me more by just being me.

612

Tequila + me = lucky you!

276

Faster than the speed of light is when you can take a bottle of beer out of the fridge before the light comes on.

263

Let's go camping.

In a hotel.
With a pool. And a spa.

427

Adam and Eve were the first people to agree to the Apple terms and conditions without reading them.

534

All i ask is a chance to prove money can't make me happy !

200

90% of women don't like men in pink shirts. Ironically 90% of men in pink shirts don't like women either.

317

Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.

259

You don't have a Valentine?

Some people don't have a mother on mother's day or a father on father's day, so
SHUT UP!

269

don't give up on your dreams.

keep sleeping.

496

I'm an idealist.
I don't know where I'm going but I'm on my way.

272

Sex with an ex.

Same as if you shower and wear your dirty underwear again.

307

FLY LIKE AN EAGLE.

FUCK LIKE A RABBIT.

299

Home sweet mess.

409

Build your own dreams, or someone else will hire you to build theirs.

381

STRESSED

spelled
backward
is

DESSERTS

363

Weekend Contest!
===================

Post something with word 'weekend'. The writer with the most likes wins some bold swag.

Popular > Contests

334

ride bold.
or dont ride at all...

432

optimists claim that we are living in the best of all possible worlds.

pessimists are scared that might be true.

493

I'm sick about all the Irish stereotypes!
As soon as I finish this drink, I'm punching someone.

1

There is a big difference between a guy and a girl saying,

"I went through an entire box of tissues during that movie."

722

Everyone's curious

But no one really cares.

178

I just awesomed all over the place.

428

IT IS NOT
MONDAY' S
FAULT!

394

I'm sick about all the Irish stereotypes!
As soon as I finish this drink, I'm punching someone.

504

show more

About Help Contact Copyright Privacy Terms