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Posts Liked by rudeboy

I Finished Your Laundry, The Ashes Are In The Fire Place.

22

It's not who you are that holds you back, it's who you think you're not.

35

We Can't Breathe

44

Kudos to the astronauts who left our fucked up planet today. We all need a little more space.

14

Can't wait until this is over so i can go back to social distancing on my own terms..

45

I'm single and I want a divorce.

31

When this is all over, please continue to stay at least 6 feet away from me.

30

war is terror with a bigger budget

15

Judge me by the people I avoid.

36

We are the unwilling,
led by the
unqualified, doing the unnecessary
for the ungrateful.

26

The deepest pain is unseen by eyes.
The deepest sadness is unsaid by words

15

the rest is still unwritten

31

The sword of justice is stuck in a pile of dollar bills.

40

Today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday

44

i am trapped in my own mind with my thoughts guarding the only exit found.

50

My Native American name is Piss Off.

6

Blinking:
because we all need a break from this world sometimes.

32

Why care that nobody cares ?

9

Cheer Up Fuck Face

26

In the end it is all about the beginning

59

Five years ago today we published this app called Boldomatic.

64

shit
is a very flexible matter

41

The fuck
I don't give comes from the bottom of my heart.

16

My neighbor's car can park itself. It can also go fuck itself.

10

As far as I’m concerned, every child deserves access to a first-rate education. Every. Single. Child.

49

New App Version Coming Soon

28

A nurse finds a rectal thermometer in her pocket and thinks,
" some asshole has my pen "...

71

Trust me...
When I woke up today, I had no plans to be this sexy.
But hey, shit happens.

92

We hear a lot from those who have nothing to say.

71

I am the world's worst perfectionist.

53

Out of office reply:

It's not you; it's me.

23

I don't work
out, just so I have something to regret
on my deathbed.

63

Manneken peace. Now.

77

32

I'm not user friendly at all today.

22

"Men who take their orders from the gods are unpredictable and dangerous."

15

Just remembered I'm an adult and had a little panic attack.

102

Strange new trend at the office. People putting names on food in the company fridge. Today I had a tuna sandwich named Linda.

133

When you make your peace with authority
you become authority.

9

MILLION DOLLAR IDEA.

A SMOKE DETECTOR THAT TURNS OFF WHEN YOU YELL "I'M JUST COOKING FOR FUCKS SAKE"

99

Instagram derives from social needia.

17

"On the journey to myself
I've been so many people."

139

I know the voices aren't real but man do they come up with some great ideas

117

I am the sinner
I am the saint
I am the butcher
I am restraint
I am the tyrant
I am enslaven
I am the migrant
I am the haven

74

I love you
as certain
dark things are
to be loved,
in secret,
between
the shadow
and the soul.

106

Is "Fuck you" an emotion? Because I feel it all the time.

185

Waiter, there's a reflection of a sad and lonely man in my soup.

110

Education is important but weapons are importanter!

35

If you find yourself, how will you know it's you?

109

Everyone stand back!

I'm about to get creative!

17

apparently, jokingly opening my legs open when the dentist says open wide is frowned upon in this establishment.

107

YOUNIVERSE

17

have you ever listened to someone for a while and wondered...

"who ties your shoelaces for you?"

280

Shoutout to ATM fees for making me buy my own money.

191

May the fourth be with you

92

Of course size matters.....

Nobody wants a small cup of coffee.

218

My fridge is a cemetery for vegetables.

48

Why is the pope now on twitter?

Because twitter is 6 years old.

10

I'm looking to buy a new boomerang, how can I throw the old one away?

18

Having plans sounds like a good idea until you have to put on clothes and leave your house...

278

Boldomatic 2.0 is now available for iOS and Android!

64

Please tripple like my post, bro.

15

He said the spark between us was gone, so I tasered him and I'll ask him again when he wakes up. ..

157

if athiest groups talk about satan, aren't they admitting there's a god?

1

MAYBE SHE'S BORN WITH IT,
MAYBE IT'S AN INSTAGRAM FILTER.

192

My body is a temple...

Unfortunately,
I have no respect for religion.

142

Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.

13

All thinking men are atheists.

12

Staring is caring.

118

Hey, what's the Wi-Fi password?

Idiot, we're at a funeral!

All in one Word?

218

i hate it when people try to make small talk on the lift, "nice weather", "how are you today", "where's your pants"

124

Trying to sleep like;
One sheep, two sheep, cow, turtle, duck, old mac Donald had a farm,
HEE MACARENA!!!!

257

People who remind me of myself are the worst

167

Patience is a bitch.

26

Having a bad day, I figured I'd pee on a pregnancy test just for some good news.

59

If you ran like your mouth, you'd be in good shape.

177

*goes to gym

untangles earbuds for 45 minutes

goes home

22

die with memories,
not dreams.

329

Movember is over, so this week anyone looking like a pedophile is actually a pedophile.

26

America: A country that believes, that obesity is a disease, but homosexuality is a choice.

11

Thanks for pretending not to see me when I was pretending not to see you in order to avoid a miserably awkward conversation that neither of us wanted to have.

193

K
C
U
F

94

The Theory of Relativity:
Time moves more slowly when you are with your relatives.

28

Describe your self in two words.

Lazy.

25

You're as annoying as that app that turns sideways when I lay down.

9

Whoops accidentally bought Danone Activia instead of Danone Lazy.

34

When I see lovers' names carved in a tree, I don't think its cute.
I just think it's crazy how many people bring knives on a date.

91

Making love
=
Bed - Clothes / Legs

3

thank god
i'm an atheist!

118

For the record:

I don't give a flying fuck who reads or likes, or dislikes, my incessant ranting in small thoughts via this application.

I thought this was
the whole point.

18

New Yeah

59

i am ashamed to call myself human today as we kill each other without regard and our only solution is the threat of greater violence

• tea

15

"I have a dream..."

68

lets have a moment of silence for all those who are stuck in traffic on their way to the gym to ride stationary bicycles.

125

That awkward moment when you forget to turn your sexyness off and wake up covered in bitches.

16

I ALREADY KNOW THAT I'M GOING TO HELL

AT THIS POINT IT'S REALLY GO BIG OR GO HOME

32

ALL EYES ON THE ROYAL VAGINA.

2

I'm not
lazy, I'm
just highly motivated not to do anything.

21

sidetracked

or

derailed

11

I get ignored so much, people should call me 'Terms and Conditions'.

56

fuck smart people who're too stupid to know they're arrogant

18

same shit
different smell

11

When I was a boy, my mother wore a mood ring. When she was in a good mood it turned blue. In a bad mood, it left a big red mark on my forehead.

19

dopestrong
dopestrong
dopestrong
dopestrong
dopestrong
dopestrong

7

nobody can hurt me without my permission

•gandhi

22

I SWEAR AS MUCH AS I WANT TO
YOU FUCKING FUCK OF A FUCKFACE

15

v = u + a*t

3

May the 4th be With You.

12

What is the difference between acne and a catholic priest?

Acne usually comes on a boys face after he turns 12.

12

caffeine..

it's like swallowing sunshine. :)

14

You're not drunk until you have to grab onto the grass to keep from falling off the earth.

43

Can we go back to using Facebook for what it was originally for – looking up exes to see how fat they got?

17

You look like I need another drink.

1

SIRI, ein Bier
bitte !

17

today's hairstyle is called: "and i didn't brush my teeth either"

26

money often costs too much

22

I'm old enough to know better, but young enough to do it anyway.

30

i hurt
i pain
i cry
i die
each day and yet i exist

15

I wish I could trade my heart for another liver so I could drink more and care less.

313

I saw a notice that said
"Drink Canada Dry" and I've just started.

13

Mirrors can’t talk. Luckily for you, they can’t laugh either!

28

Wouldn't it be ironic... to die in the living room?

43

My damn iPhone is broken.

I pressed the home button and I'm still at work...

105

To Do-List

1) Buy 4 pigs

2) Paint numbers 1, 2, 3 and 5 on their backs

3) Release them in a supermarket

4) Sit back and watch Security search for #4

40

Don't drink and drive
you will spill it

30

of verse
i am averse

of vows
i disavow

of you
i am but true

and me
i am just Tea

8

i am
J Alfred Prufrock without a love song

6

Life is too important to be taken seriously

- Oscar Wilde

14

Yes, reason has been a part of religion, ever since two nudists took dietary advice from a talking snake.

19

Anyone seen my motivation? I think I lost it somewhere between here and who the hell cares.

42

What does a cat and a fork have in common?
They both have tails, except the fork.

29

destroy the box; then
think

12

MY FEET HURT

FROM KICKING SO MUCH ASS

15

diplomacy:

fuck you, sir

22

freshly brewed coffee

18

look at
yourself through
my eyes

10

say what you think instead of think what you want to say

23

Atheism is a non-prophet organization .

30

Shaving your balls is just plain nuts.

25

i'm not as dumb as you
lo.Ok

11

PUNCH 'TODAY' IN THE FACE.

21

I just awesomed all over the place.

317

How do you know if someone is Vegetarian? They tell you.
Always.

60

I wish I had a dollar for every dollar I don't have.

182

$Make little things count. Teach midgets Math.$

19

Some days,
the supply of available curse words is insufficient to meet my demands.

1

Floor:
My largest shelf

35

that awkward moment between your birth and your death...

4

Reality
is frequently inaccurate.

16

that awkward moment between your birth and your death...

33

I really should come with a warning label.

14

I think I think too much...

8

you can't have both feet on the ground and kick ass at the same time

285

Tact is for people who aren't witty enough to be sarcastic.

30

Lost time is never found again.

31

Kondome sind billiger als Windeln!

Wer verhütet denn bitte mit Windeln?!?

9

Macht man Lasagne nicht mit Pferd?

16

I am more pissed off than a midget with a yo-yo.

33

normal people scare me more often than weird ones...

17

Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery;
None but ourselves can free our minds.

187

It's called Karma and it's pronounced "Haha, fuck you!"

32

There is a big difference between knowing your shit, and knowing you're shit.

2

I LOVE ALL OF GODS CREATURES

especially Pizza & Porn

11

i'm sorry
for what
i said when i was hungry.

251

my life.
my choices.
my mistakes.
my lessons.
not your business.

261

How do I define history?
It's just one fucking thing after another

9

Humor is sometimes anger with its make-up on.

7

Life Is About Kicking Ass Not Kissing It

176

they told me to use the brain god gave me.

now i'm an atheist.

14

Ich würde nicht Schlampe zu ihr sagen. Öffentliches Verkehrsmittel trifft es besser.

21

Did you know that if you put your ear up a strangers leg you can hear them say:
What the fuck are you doing?!?

4

I don't get it when people compare Jimi Hendrix and God on the Internet. Ii mean he's good. Don't get me wrong. But still no Jimi Hendrix...

9

we stop checking for monsters under our bed,
when we realize, they are inside us.

29

Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poke me in the ribs and cackle, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

111

Sometimes less is just less...

6

WARNING! The dates in Calender are closer than they appear!

9

Slept like a baby! Cried and pooped myself all night...now I'm hungry.

14

Let the past make you better not bitter

10

I'm going to hell in every single religion.

34

Those who criticize our generation seem to forget who raised it.

108

It's better to be black than gay because when you're black you don't have to tell your mother.

11

oh, I offended you with my opinion?
You should hear the ones I am keeping to myself!

8

o o

36

HOW ABOUT A NICE BIG CUP OF SHUT THE FUCK UP

29

which concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring nickelback.

1

Atheism is a non-prophet organization .

10

I'm never sure what to do with
my eyes when I'm at the dentist.

26

to be is to do - Socrates.

to do is to be - Sartre.

do be do be do - Sinatra.

27

FUCK what they think

7

Lust
for Life.

8

5

high

29

There are three ways to do things, the right way, the wrong way and the way that I do it.

10

input output alles kaputt

13

YOU ARE UNIQUE,

JUST LIKE EVERYONE ELSE.

73

Life's a bitch.
Be its pimp.

7

Never give up on something that you can't go a day without thinking about.

10

some people get confused when a sentence does not end like they potato

8

Monopoly is an old game because there is a luxury tax and rich people can go to jail.

12

I nefer fail!

34

the awnser to everything

42

16

Only those who attempt the absurd will achieve the impossible.

12

Some days are gray so you can color them.

107

time is the greatest teacher; un-fortunately it kills all of it's students

83

what doesn't kill you fucks you up mentally

9

bad decisions make good stories

423

i licked it, so it's mine.

195

a mosquito landed on my balls... hardest decision of my life

114

F CK.
i just need U

204

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