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Posts Liked by pecegigios

Just saw a man walking four dogs, shit, he must be some kind of super blind.

12

Celery is 95% water and 100% not pizza.

15

please god cure my hangover and i promise i will never drink again, also forgive me in advance for lying about never drinking again.

59

I wonder which color Jesus would choose if he'd get his nails done...

13

Charging my body's solar panels •

13

Three words to ruin a man's ego:
"Is it in?"

Three words to ruin a woman's ego:
"I don't know"

21

Nothing is ever really solved without baby oil and wrestling.

11

Apple says flat is cool. Fangirls everywhere ditch padded bras.

8

I'm going to name my first child FRIDAY.

16

Poor is the man whose pleasure depends on the permission of another.

23

Everything in theory also works in practice.

In theory.

46

Question

your

beliefs.

18

You'd look cute in a 'hug-yourself-jacket'

27

justice is
a beautiful concept.
unicorns too.

18

others have sex in the kitchen, I eat in bed

30

How bad do you want it?

22

I think it is just terrible and disgusting how Lance Armstrong was treated, especially after what he achieved winning seven Tour de France titles while competing on drugs. When i was on drugs, i couldn't even find my bike!

28

when
nothing
goes
right,

go
left.

15

Shaving your balls is just plain nuts.

25

you can have results..
or excuses not both..

11

Women are like iPhones..
you have to touch them all over before they respond.

Men are like Blackberries..
rub one ball and everything moves •

92

DON'T
EAT YELLOW
SNOW

22

Striptease
is
Anatomy Class
with
music •

23

the problem is not the problem; the problem is your attitude about the problem.

9

a fact of life:
after monday and tuesday even the calender says W T F.....

139

THE HARDEST LIFT OF ALL IS LIFTING YOUR BUTT OFF THE COUCH.

13

You never know what you have..

..until you clean your room •

26

IF YOU ARE LUCKY ENOUGH TO BE DIFFERENT, DON'T EVER CHANGE.

110

When you throw dirt, you lose ground.

117

Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?

111

Love it,
change it
or leave it.

10

HARD WORK BEATS TALENT WHEN TALENT
DOESN'T WORK HARD

9

They kill good trees to put out bad newspapers.

6

If fantasy was realistic -
reality would be fantastic.

181

DANCE FIRST THINK LATER

83

alcohol is really just the liquid version of photoshop.

74

The guy who discovered milk...
What was he doing with the cow?

114

Dear Algebra,
stop asking us to find your "X".
She's not coming back.

124

I'll have a café mocha vodka valium latte to go please.

240

DONE IS BETTER THAN PERFECT

234

Quiet people have the loudest minds.

355

Build your own dreams, or someone else will hire you to build theirs.

396

Sex with an ex.

Same as if you shower and wear your dirty underwear again.

223

After all is said and
done, a lot more will be said than done.

106

Boobs are the proof that men can focus on 2things at once

67

I just had a near-work experience.

91

What doesn't kill you will only make you whinier.

14

DO NO HARM
BUT TAKE NO SHIT

14

why don't you slip into something a little more comfortable? like a coma.

23

women just call me ugly until they know how much money I make.

when they find out, they call me ugly and poor.

31

Always go to bed with a good book. Or with someone who just read one.

33

Stay up late at night,
regret it every morning,
do it all over again •

49

I wish
I could put people on mute •

39

How to get laid:

Lay on bed.
Wait for 1hr.
Lay becomes past tense.

17

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