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Posts Liked by nothingisclear

When someone says "Wanna see something gross?!" I automatically assume they are going to show me wedding photos.

14

I've got to stop with
this flirting shit!

I almost got myself
into a relationship.

36

Cherish always, anyone
who prompts the question, whether thought or spoken, "Where have you been all my life?"

33

I need a vacation and by "vacation"
I mean I need to move away and find a new job on a beach

with rum

15

I'm opening a gym called "Resolutions". It will have exercise equipment in it for the first two weeks, then it turns into a bar for the rest of the year.

255

It's like my new problems don't realize that I still have other problems to deal with.

9

What's red and bad for your teeth?

- a brick

19

During sex I suddenly stopped and didn't move. She was like "What are you doing?"
And I was like "Hush, I saw this
on youporn, it's called buffering!"

16

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