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Posts Liked by nevermoregirl

So there is this girl....
She's stolen every piece of my heart. I totally fell head over heels.....
The best part is she calls me mom

25

You.
Me.
Bed.
Now.

37

What Susie says
of Sally
says more of Susie
than of Sally.

Remember that.

164

You're as annoying as that app that turns sideways when I lay down.

139

The less you respond to rude, critical, argumentative prople..
the more peaceful your life will become •

16

Homework

The first you contemplate it for half an hour, the last you burn it in the fire

7

X would make the patient think they have C for sure! C means this uninsured patient would suddenly demand action, and becomes a liability; i.e. patient gets C and dies, patient's family will sue the shit outta doctor.

Inner Doctor Monologue:

Hm. Better pretend idk wtf X has to do with C. I'll just say I don't know X...

6

I'm on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.

14

single...and too socially awkward to mingle.

9

90% of my socks are single, and you don't see them crying about it

27

Irony is 15 year old mothers using protective covers on their smartphones

101

The first word I want to teach my kid is "brains".

Then, until he/she learns another word, I'll have the cutest little zombie ever.

61

Carpe Noctem

Seize The Night.

111

You are
the average of the five people you spend the most time with •

58

Growing old is
mandatory.

Growing up is optional.

140

EVERYONE'S IRISH ON MARCH 17th

399

optimists claim that we are living in the best of all possible worlds.

pessimists are scared that might be true.

135

You look like something
I draw with my left hand.

959

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