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They tried to bury us

They didn't know we were seeds...

86

I'm multitasking,

I can listen, ignore and forget at the same time

393

YOUR
PHONE SCREEN
IS BRIGHTER THAN YOUR FUTURE.

276

Twinkle, twinkle little star lead me to the nearest bar!

213

Trying to sleep like;
One sheep, two sheep, cow, turtle, duck, old mac Donald had a farm,
HEE MACARENA!!!!

257

People
who talk shit
will be reincarnated as toilet paper •

212

In which language would you prefer I tell you how much I do not give a shit?

I have my translator app open, fire away.

182

Can you imagine parents nowadays explaining to their kids how they met?

"Well, it all started one day when your dad 'liked' one of my selfies."

218

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