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Posts Liked by missperfumado

when you change the way you look at things
the things you look at change

81

I like it when you sleep for you are so beautiful yet so unaware of it

28

Don't be fooled by the media, puppies are yummi.

14

I ask myself if I need a boyfriend.

I didn't trust my answer so I asked google.

Turns out I don't need one :D

Thank God :)

26

life is like a pubic hair on a toilet seat, you hang on and you hang on but eventually you get pissed off

52

is it easier to make people love you or hate you?

10

I've been out of the country for a few days.
I hope you idiots didn't make it any worse.

16

I'm not an adult.

I'm a kid stuck in an adult body.

11

person by day.

unicorn by night.

10

Not all resolutions are meant to be kept.

67

I know the voices aren't real but man do they come up with some great ideas

117

I'm fucking gold..
but you prefer silver and that's okay •

24

* • . *
*. *
* *
the night is spent
making love to the stars *
* *
.*

34

If barbie is so popular, why do we have to buy her friends?

27

Life may not be colorful, but my imagination will always be.

22

When you find
what you have
been looking
for, will you set
it free?

35

ANTISTALKING

(v) learning a person's routine in order to avoid them.

72

during the nights of August 11-14, 2015 will be a massive meteor shower from 50 to 100 meteors an hour.

SPREAD THE WORD!

23

When I am sad and feeling blue, I think of time spent with you.

48

take a tip from nature-your ears aren't made to shut, but your mouth is !

31

Beer and pizza go together
like coworkers and stabbing.

13

My happy place is the beer fridge.

15

I will have to find another way to start enjoying doing my laundry sober

10

We broke up but she said we could still be siblings

- Game of Thrones

14

"Where do you see yourself in 10 years?" (job interview question)

-in the same office, firing you!

4

If my nude body offends you so much then maybe you should go to a different supermarket.

23

You are only as good as the people you hire

77

Guys get erections every morning, right? The actual time of "morning" varies depending on where you live, with the "morning line" basically spinning around the earth infinetely, right?

So does that mean that humanity has been doing a "boner wave" around the earth for hundreds of years?!?

11

Don't be afraid of
white space.

33

today has been nothing that tomorrow can't cure

117

Worry is just meditating on bullshit

205

I don't have exes,
I have holes in the backyard.

55

MONTREUX
JAZZ
FESTIVAL

8

Bible kill count: Satan 10 - God 2,339,336
plagues not included.

15

You make me smile...

And also super horny, but that's not the point.

363

It's nude o'clock.

26

I only date women who look like they could help me hide a body.

35

I love Manchester

1

SAY PERHAPS TO DRUGS.

21

Yoga is not a licence to fart.

8

Mum said "avoid germs" so I carefully covered the toilet seat with paper and shit on the floor.

13

Fart is just a 4 letter word.

8

Ran over two foxes having sex on the road. If I were a fox, that'd be the way I'd want to die.

8

100% of non-
smokers die too.

184

69ing the toilet

2

Cuando me besas regreso del mundo de los muertos

1

Girls are like apples on trees. The best ones are on top of the tree and the easy ones are on the ground.

14

Twerking and Selfie have been added to the dictionary.

Future and Hope have been removed...

75

ALCOHOL DOESN'T CAUSE HANGOVERS WAKING UP DOES

76

I don't want to rain on your parade, I rather pee on it.

10

Eat pussy
it's organic.

14

Today's dresscode at Boldomatic HQ:

Topless.

14

hey girl, you should eat some makeup so you can be pretty on the inside too

22

I love my sixpack so much, I protect it with a layer of fat.

38

I won't be impressed with technology until I can download food.

20

SEX, HUGS
AND SOCKS
WITH HOLES

62

Let me get this straight, there's a yoga pose called 'the downward-facing dog'!?

12

Why do hipsters love the subway?

Because it’s so underground!

27

I think I've fallen in hate with you.

125

If women ruled this world, there would be no wars.

Just a bunch of jealous countries not talking to each other.

202

RELIGION IS LIKE A PENIS

It's okay to have one
It's okay to be proud of it

HOWEVER

Do not pull it out in public
Do not push it on children
Do not write laws with it
Do not think with it

19

My favorite pickup line: Get in the van...

30

like OMG! this is FANTABULOUS!
you are sooo reading this in a stuck up blonde accent.

32

der kleine "fick dich du alte schlampe mein name geht dich garnichts an" möchte aus dem spielparadies abgeholt werden!

24

... manchmal glaube ich, dass bei manchen Leuten im Kindesalter die Schaukel zu nah bei der Hauswand stand.

27

WORK

"yet another shitty day in paradise"

12

BEING ON FACEBOOK
IS NOT COOL
ANYMORE

18

My girlfriend told me we can't hang out this weekend because she doesn't exist.

58

I stay in bed to save the planet.

53

Today I took a picture of my peanut butter sandwich.

208

what if the pope resigned because he's pregnant with the new jesus and now mtv makes a show about it called sistine and pregnant..?

9

touché.

274

Don't think that thinking is doing.

21

I hate the part of the morning where I have to get out of bed and participate in real life •

3

all you need is love... and a dog

2

want a realtionship?
buy a sheep and call it relation.

184

I hate the part of the morning where I have to get out of bed and participate in real life •

200

WARNING

drinking alcoholic beverages before pregnancy can cause pregnancy

218

Some say the glass is half full, some say the glass is half empty. I say “Are you gonna drink that?”

163

Bold News:

Boldomatic is nominated for the Swiss App Awards.

205

'I never said half the crap people said I did.'

Albert Einstein

154

Don't believe everything you think.

125

When a pregnancy test confirms your worst fear: You're just fat.

136

ONCE IN A WHILE,
BLOW YOUR
OWN DAMN MIND.

7

I meant to behave but there were too many other appealing options.

13

your ass must get jealous of all the shit that comes out of your mouth.

49

PROVE
YOU
EXIST

197

some people just need a hug

...around the neck

...with a rope.

80

don't steal.
the government hates competition.

158

I'm going to save my "be a better person" resolution for 2014.

I want to be a bold asshole for another year.

27

Got up at 6am, played golf, ran 10miles, had a protein shake, started lying about everything.

21

Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we're here, we should dance.

143

Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poke me in the ribs and cackle, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

111

stop selling leggings to hippos!

42

You look like I need another drink.

140

I enjoy long romantic walks to the fridge.

157

an Irishman walks out of a bar.
observed no one ever.

8

Going to McDonalds for a salad is like going to a prostitute for a hug.

628

I drink to make other people interesting.

59

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