Posts Liked by MissP.

I wish I had boobs so people would stop making eye contact with me.

bock auf candle light döner?

in Denmark, we're so rich

we pay with crowns

LET'S DO SOME "WE SHOULDN'T BE DOING THIS" THINGS.

Adam and Eve were the first people to agree to the Apple terms and conditions without reading them.

We're going to buy a dog or have a child, but can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or our lives.

YOUNG, WILD AND RETARDED.

having a vagina doesn't stop me from believing that my balls are bigger than yours.

So lets find a bar so dark we forget who we are.

It's not the dress that makes you look fat....

... it's the fat!

The only thing we learn from history is that we don't learn from history.

100% of non-
smokers die too.

Irony is 15 year old mothers using protective covers on their smartphones

WHOREIBLE.

People complain about auto correct but it’s helpful 99% of the titties.

Make the party worth the hangover

I wonder if clouds ever look down on us and say "Hey look...that one is shaped like an idiot."

My goal for 2014 is to accomplish the goals of 2013 which I should've done in 2012 because I promised them in 2011 and planned in 2010.

Love is for lovers.
Beer is for drinkers.
I love beer.
Date me.

teeth:
because blow jobs need to come with a gentle reminder of who's really in charge

Hey Santa, you know who else liked to judge people?
That dude Hitler.

out of all the lies i've told, 'just kidding!' is my favourite.

This year I'm secretly stuffing the turkey with marijuana so everyone can relax and enjoy my cooking for once.

it's so fucking cold out, I just keyed someones car with my nipples by accident

I can't tell you how many times I've had to cancel a date because my dog keeps dying.

life isn't a fairytale.

if you lose your shoe at midnight you might want to slow down on the tequila.

HERE'S TO THE GIRLS who don't wake up with perfect hair. Who don't mind eating a Big Mac instead of salad. Who don't wear 50 pounds of makeup. Who'd rather wear sweatpants instead of skinny jeans. Who don't get all the guys. Who aren't "popular" but feel like it, when they're with friends. Here's to the girls LIKE ME!

When a man says you're ugly, he's just being mean. When a woman says you're ugly, she's just jealous. When a child says you're ugly, you're ugly.

Being famous on Instagram is like being rich on Monopoly.

I need more drinks and less light.

$/\ || {}{}{}{} %%% ######### ()•()•()•()•()•()•() ######### ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ### BOLDOMATIC #### @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ ################$

they say, 1 out of every 3 people cheat in a relationship.

not sure if it's my husband or my boyfriend

Let me tell you a bit about my background...

Well, It's green.

$I'm not sure how many problems I have because math is one of them$

my ex has one very annoying habit.

breathing.

They asked me for drugs, so I told them about your smile.

Definition of HELL

Your last day on
earth, the person
you became meets
the person you could have become.

Let your words be anything but empty

You can kill the dreamer but you can't kill the dream.

Waved to my ex today, next time I might use all my fingers.

cheers to the men we love
and the jerks we got.

Facebook: Wasting lives and causing drama since 2004.

Eating cereal in the shower isn't saving me as much time as I thought.

I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HAPPY
AND MAYBE
A LITTLE BIT NAKED.

Waking up.
Humans.
Working.
The things I hate.

I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HAPPY
AND MAYBE
A LITTLE BIT NAKED.

better
to loose
a lover
than
to love
a loser

I live for two reasons:

1) I was born.

2) I haven't died yet.

Never
let little stupid things break your happiness •

Let your smile change the world but don't let the world change your smile.

Dreams are like Balloons. Sometimes they fly away or burst.

If women ruled this world, there would be no wars.

Just a bunch of jealous countries not talking to each other.

I'd appreciate it if you started treating me like a sex object.

Let's hope the next ridiculously popular Facebook trend is shutting the fuck up.

I'm having a hard time getting over the relationship that we were never in.

Lol has gone from meaning, "laugh out loud" to "I have nothing else to say".

I just took a hot shower. It's like a normal shower, but with me in it.

I wish I had more middle fingers to give out.

Life is NOT like a box of chocolates. It's more like a jar of jalapenos - what you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.

Listening to someone's heartbeat.

Tweet! Tweet!
It's my
birthday..
Yaay!