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Posts Liked by mdcat

==DON'T BE THE FIRST TO ARRIVE AT THE ORGY OR THE LAST TO LEAVE. EITHER WAY, YOU LOOK DESPERATE.==
Thirty years later, still the weirdest fortune cookie I ever got.

6

I can't divulge where I was able to get a reservation for Valentine's Day but let's just say my wife is going to go as LOCO as EL POLLO when she finds out.

3

Who used all the toilet paper?

Some ASSHOLE...

57

Twinkle, twinkle little star lead me to the nearest bar!

213

I want to sleep for two years and wake up with a degree, an apartment and money in the bank

269

Calm down gas tank.We're all empty on the inside.

145

Let's make a book out of all bolds and call it "The better Bible".

3

There's no stronger sunscreen than sitting at the bar.

111

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