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Posts Liked by markusrumpold

your ex looked like the partner of your dreams. salt looks like sugar. gin looks like water.
you're really wondering why I have trust issues?

68

don't lower your expectations
just slower your expectations

81

Sometimes we are like stars.

We fall.

Only so someone's wish can come true.

86

what really turns me off is your personality. your ass is quite nice.

14

MY IDEA OF
"HELP FROM ABOVE"

IS A SNIPER ON THE
ROOF!

18

DISHE'S

we meet again you dirty bastard's

20

I'm not needy. I'm wanty.

7

Boldomatic 2.0 is now available for iOS and Android!

64

I like to be alone.
But I would rather be alone with you.

270

"Give to me she Yelled"
I'm so fkn Wet Give it to me NOW"

She could Scream all she wanted..,

I WAS KEEPING THE

UMBRELLA ^_^

12

Sommerklamotten
:-)

Sommerfigur
:-(

8

See your beauty without a compliment or a mirror

179

"Ihr Sohn hat mich 'alte Kuh' genannt, was sagen Sie dazu?"

"Ich hab ihm schon so oft gesagt, er soll die Leute nicht nach dem Äußeren beurteilen..."

10

It's time
to woman
up.

4

cloud stro phobia

2

Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia:
the fear of long words.

5

i saw a spider in my bathtub, so i got a piece of tissue and very, very carefully, burned the house down.

50

My Bed
Wasn't Feeling
Well This Morning,
So I Stayed at Home
To Take Care Of It.

95

Yoga
Pant's
Like
a Miracle BRA for
ASSES

19

Zombies only want a Hug.

41

first kiss more like why is there a stranger's tongue in my mouth?

17

Improve your iphone battery life:

1. Place your iphone on a table.

2. Go outside.

35

SANTA WORKS ONE DAY A YEAR!
And SPEND 'S
THE REST OF THE YEAR.....
JUDGING YOU ?

22

whatever.

I'll just
date
myself.

51

The only dates I get are
updates.

98

the sun goes down earlier
for short people

3

I did not slap you!

I high-fived your face.

7

Time is killing me

9

If you could be anyone, would you choose to be yourself?

6

Life is all about perspective. The sinking of the titanic was a miracle to the lobsters in the ships kitchen.

61

Suche:

neuen Schutzengel

Meiner ist nervlich am Ende.

10

aufräumen muss man erst, wenn das WLAN Signal nicht mehr durchkommt
...

11

As i got into middle school, i gotta know everybody lied to me,

The sun never Sets or Raises,
its just the earth is rotating..:/

6

Ego is just the dust in your eyes,

Trust me, once you washed it away, the world would look brighter to you...^_^

6

True love is about who you are. ..the look is just a bonus! !!

6

when you sleep you're training to die. ..

7

Anyone can make you smile, many people can make you cry, but it takes someone really special to make you smile with tears in your eyes..
^_^

13

"treat her like you're still trying to win her, and thats how you'll never lose her.."

14

girls are like roads more the curves more the dangerous they are..

7

I love you. ..but from ten yards away! !

4

Do you know who's the person you're stuck with forever? ??
YOU !!!! ROFL

5

Take my hand and let's make the great Escape

4

People will forget what you said.
People will forget what you did.
But people will never forget how you made them feel.

• Maya Angelou

3

I don't have any bad habits.

I am good at all of them.

140

If you succeed in cheating someone, dont think that the person is a fool. Realize that the person trusted you much more than you deserve.

14

Never explain yourself. Your friends dont need it and your enemies wont believe it.

11

Dear dreams, stop ending right when I get to the good part!!

12

A simple hello! could lead to a million things...

26

Back in my Day
We never went to the Bar to meet Women ?

We Went To The Kitchen

said my old Grandad !!

( Dark Ages Grandpa)
Not Now ;-)

17

If love can be withdrawn
It never was

(Leonard Nimoy)

35

9 out of 10 selfies say I don't have a boyfriend.

38

Living faster than the speed of regret.

40

NEVER
Do
The
Same
Mistake
Twice....
Unless
HE'S HOT ^_^

47

People
who talk shit
will be reincarnated as toilet paper •

78

lazy is such an ugly word

I prefer the term selective participation

93

TEXTOSTERON

79

We all smile in the same language...^_^

58

I'm not single im not taken I'm simply put on reserve for the one who deserves my heart.

5

People who remind me of myself are the worst

44

Twinkle, twinkle little star lead me to the nearest bar!

52

If there are no chocolates in heaven,
Im not going...:D

6

Twinkle, twinkle little star lead me to the nearest bar!

213

i hate it when people try to make small talk on the lift, "nice weather", "how are you today", "where's your pants"

124

Beziehungsstatus:

Ich frühstücke morgens alleine...
Für zwei.

15

Ich hasse nicht, ich egale.

16

I've found the key
to my heart

11

I am not fat! I'm just much easier to see..

21

Auch viele Männer haben einen begehbaren Kleiderschrank.
Bei denen ist es aber die ganze Wohnung.

24

Hearts are wild creatures

that's why our ribs are cages

71

*When your mom asks if you made it home ok*

Me: no, I died a few times.

50

I broke up with my gym we were just not working out

55

People who remind me of myself are the worst

167

The only way
to get what you really want is to let go of what you don't want.

6

Mein Ex-Freund wurde von seiner Neuen verlassen. Mir ist vor Mitgefühl fast die Voodoo Puppe aus der Hand gefallen.

14

ich bekomme besuch. habe großkotzig gesagt, dass ich was koche. wusste nur nicht dass mein gast vegan is(s)t.

es gibt holz.

15

unter allen arschgeigen dieser welt, bist DU die stradivari.

20

beim ersten date wirke ich immer interessant und geheimnisvoll.

ich wusste doch dass die nebelmaschine unterm tisch ne gute idee ist.

21

oh, ein 4-lagiges kloblatt. endlich habe ich auch mal glück.

27

fake hair, fake nails, fake lashes, fake titts.
but looking for a real man.

great, bitches.

46

Egal wie high du bist,
mein Bett ist Heia.

36

Manche hüpfen morgens aus dem Bett wie Toast aus dem Toaster. Ich bin mehr so das Brötchen, das mit der Butterseite nach unten fällt. Und liegen bleibt...

65

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