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Posts Liked by malenegarli

Only trust people who like big butts.

They cannot lie.

221

I hate when I put food in the microwave & it starts making explosive noises so I check and it's cold, like why you gotta play me like that.

37

10 reasons why I'm lazy:
1)

25

Sometimes I stalk you online to remember why I don't want you anymore.

16

If I had a nickle for every time I heard you say something stupid, I'd have a sock full of nickles to beat you with...

17

Whenever I see a woman with a bratty kid, I think to myself:

"I hope that orgasm was worth it."

32

You.
Me.
Bed.
Now.

194

i
love
long
drives

1

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