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Posts Liked by laudiedaudie

Success is like pregnancy. Everybody congratulates you but nobody knows how many times you got fucked to achieve it.

170

Waved to my ex today, next time I might use all my fingers.

108

The moment you rewatch childhood movies and actually understand what's going on now.

42

I'm gonna kill you.
Hahaha.
No, seriously. Run.

50

To Do-List

1) Buy 4 pigs

2) Paint numbers 1, 2, 3 and 5 on their backs

3) Release them in a supermarket

4) Sit back and watch Security search for #4

78

I don't make mistakes,
I date them.

309

when alexander graham bell invented the phone, he had three missed calls from chuck norris

147

It only takes a second to show someone how you feel about them-

The police call it indecent exposure, but whatever...

81

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