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Posts Liked by lalagray

I don't just sing in the shower

I perform

13

what's the difference between a homeless guy and a hipster?

-the iPhone

11

Taking time to do nothing often brings everything into perspective

15

I have
lost my
mind and I am making no effort to look for it •

23

caffeine is bad for you, sugar is bad for you, alcohol is bad for you, but don't worry, cause that's bad for you too.

51

PHYSICAL ATTRACTION IS COMMON

&
MENTAL CONNECTION IS RARE

13

I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

57

when I was younger "I'm gonna tell your mum!" was the scariest sentence ever

16

People born in 1996-1999 have lived in three decades, two centuries and two millenniums.

And they are not even 18 yet.

16

Sex is a sensation
caused by a temptation.
A guy sticks his location, in a girls destination.
To increase population of the next generation.
Do you get my explanation or do you need a demonstration?

121

The weirdest people are the best people •

38

The
world
is like
one huge mental facility •

15

man ist was man isst!'

OMG. Ich bin ein Keks!!! :D

23

T h e E n d

14

Fighting for peace is like fucking for virginity.

27

der kleine "fick dich du alte schlampe mein name geht dich garnichts an" möchte aus dem spielparadies abgeholt werden!

24

"What doesn’t kill you makes you smaller.”

- Super Mario

62

Hirn einziehen
Brüste raus

7

you're the reason God created the middle finger

28

take
your
age

substract 2
then add 2

that's
your
age

25

Congratulations on your ability to create drama out of absolutely nothing •

67

I heard some hipsters drowned.
They must have fallen into the mainstream.

65

The biggest lie I tell myself:

"I don't need to write that down..
I'll remember it."

35

CHAOS

IS A
LIFESTYLE

2

Come to the
dark side

we have
cookies

40

DON'T WORRY
IT ONLY SEEMS KINKY THE FIRST TIME

47

Save a horse; ride a cowboy.

81

Weekend
advice:

It's only illegal if you get caught •

49

I don't know if I did right or wrong but I always did my best.

80

HAVE A FUCKING WEEKEND

AND DON'T
FORGET TO
ROCK'N'ROLL

6

rain
| | | | | |
| | | | | |
| | | | | |

36

Eben gelernt: In der S-Bahn klatscht man nicht, wenn der Zug die Haltestelle erreicht hat.

17

Science
is like sex..
it has practical uses, but that's not why we do it •

21

als das Teleklingel phonte, treppte ich die Rannte runter und türte gegen die Bums

21

Striptease
is
Anatomy Class
with
music •

23

IT WASN'T ME!

11

Ich leide gerade an einem Bold-out.

13

That
annoying
moment when you're trying to end a conversation but the other person won't stop talking •

46

Der
Klügere
gibt
Nachhilfe.

14

balkonwinker

7

STIRB Wecker
STIRB

8

Nine out of ten voices in my head tell me I’m insane.

The tenth voice hums the Tetris theme.

La, lala la, lala la la la la laa, lala la, lala la, la, la, la ,laaaa.

5

Have you ever looked at someone and thought...

'Yep... you have a person locked in your basement.'

163

Ist euch auch schon aufgefallen.

Bei technischen Problemen ist der Toptreffer bei Google immer ein Forum, in dem ein Idiot antwortet, man solle Google bemühen.

10

What it reads:
Do not touch!

What I read:
Touch when no one is looking!

31

Verzweifelst du manchmal auch an deiner Wahrnehmung?

6

ICH BOYKOTTIERE FRÜCHTE UND GEMÜSE DIE NICHT BEI UNS WACHSEN ABER BEI UNS VERKAUFT WERDEN!

12

When i have Chainsaw in my hand. I feel a lot of good Vibrations.

9

von
a
nach
b
erlin

10

Immer wenn ich Natalie Ricklin und Jasmin Hutter sehe.
Frage ich mich, wie lange es noch geht. Bis die beiden in der TV Show Bauer sucht Frau auftretten.

12

Chase nothing but drinks and dreams.

28

I wish
I could put people on mute •

39

The '<3's and ';-)'s are the herpes of what could have been a post to like.

12

What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow each other?

22

"Can you explain this?"

"Not without laughing."

15

brain status:

weekend

26

Art is much less important than life, but what a poor life without it

12

DREAM BIG

2

I just had a near-work experience.

4

Chainsaws and soulmates never die.

3

Chainsaws and soulmates never die.

7

There are people
in this world they
are like coins.
They have two faces but absolutely no value.

17

[o"]wordtography

9

You were hotter online.

2

You were hotter online.

91

CAN ANTIPODES LIVE SIDE BY SIDE?

4

I think wet dreams are actually God giving you a handjob for being so good.

16

ups..

meine
mitte
ist
nicht
goldig..!

7

happy
inter-
national womans day,
bitches!

33

FÜROBE

&

WEEKEND

12

Stehen zwei Kühe auf der Weide.

Sagt die eine "Muh"

Sagt die andere "Mäh"

Sagt die erste:
"Musst du immer das Thema wechseln ?"

20

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

13

Heaven is where the police are British, the chefs Italian,
the mechanics German, the lovers French, and it's all organized by the Swiss.
Hell is where the police
are German, the chefs are British, the mechanics
French, the lovers Swiss,
and it is all organized by the Italians.

20

Put your "faith" between my legs.

238

FLY LIKE AN EAGLE.

FUCK LIKE A RABBIT.

1

Seitdem ich das Wort "Ding" kenne, kann ich alles erklären.

29

STRESS REDUCTION ?

BANG HEAD HERE

2

I swear to drunk I'm not God, but seriously, stay in drugs, eat school and don't do vegetables.

91

FLY LIKE AN EAGLE.

FUCK LIKE A RABBIT.

299

you look like a before picture

29

Going to McDonalds for a salad is like going to a prostitute for a hug.

628

Whenever you feel sad, just remember that somewhere in this world, there's an idiot pulling a door that says 'Push' •

35

Whenever I delete an app on my phone,
the shaking icons make me feel like they're all panicked over who's getting axed •

583

404: Life not found

81

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