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Posts Liked by Jutius

Don't make me angry and then tell me to calm down.

That's like shooting someone and then wondering why he's bleeding.

125

I love finding money in my clothes.
It's like a gift from me to me.

123

Life is too short for ejecting USB sticks.

41

People complain about auto correct but it’s helpful 99% of the titties.

95

That moment when you must recorrect auto correct correcting you, to properly swear in a text message.

101

100% of non-
smokers die too.

184

Irony is 15 year old mothers using protective covers on their smartphones

194

thank god
i'm an atheist!

118

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