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Posts Liked by justTod

I used to be the kind of guy mums like.

Somehow I've ended up being the kind of guy that likes mums.

116

If my bra matches my panties,
I decided to sleep with you before the night even began.

18

i hate it when people try to make small talk on the lift, "nice weather", "how are you today", "where's your pants"

124

In which language would you prefer I tell you how much I do not give a shit?

I have my translator app open, fire away.

182

Can you imagine parents nowadays explaining to their kids how they met?

"Well, it all started one day when your dad 'liked' one of my selfies."

218

I don't have any bad habits.

I am good at all of them.

205

They tried to bury me.
They didn't know I was a seed.

5

Hey, what's the Wi-Fi password?

Idiot, we're at a funeral!

All in one Word?

218

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