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Posts Liked by jossies1998

You know you're fucked when those late night thoughts start hitting you in the middle of the day..

162

Sitting in a bar having drinks with a friend...
I casually pointed to two old drunks sitting across the bar from us and said " That's us in ten years".

He said "That's a mirror, dipshit!"

108

I hate when people say you don't need alcohol to have fun... Well you don't need running shoes to run but it fucking helps.

188

I can't turn water into wine,
but I can turn pizza into breakfast

143

I have an angel on one shoulder and a devil on the other.

I'm also deaf in one ear.

133

When asked if he'd rather have a baby brother or a baby sister, my brother gave it some thought and answered:
"A bicycle."

71

If you are going to be weird,
be confident about it.

117

I haven't lost my mind... half of it just wandered off, and the other half went looking for it...

132

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