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Posts Liked by jmweber30

Me: for Christmas I
want a unicorn.

Santa: be realistic!

Me: ok I want a
boyfriend.

Santa: what colour do
you want your
unicorn?

153

It's so quiet in the office today, I can hear myself not working

86

life isn't a fairytale.

if you lose your shoe at midnight you might want to slow down on the tequila.

71

I can't tell you how many times I've had to cancel a date because my dog keeps dying.

57

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