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Posts Liked by jesswh

I wish cake went straight to my boobs.

215

If Adam and Eve were Chinese,
we would still be in paradise because they would have ignored the apple and eaten the snake.

210

If you expect the world to be fair with you because you are fair, you're fooling yourself. That's like expecting the lion not to eat you beacuse you didn't eat him.

230

Laughing so hard that no noise comes out and you just sit there clapping like a retarded seal

15

Fluffy Socks

2% Comfort
3% Warmth
95% Sliding around like a ninja

30

Irony is 15 year old mothers using protective covers on their smartphones

101

don't give up on your dreams.

keep sleeping.

496

My goal for 2014 is to accomplish the goals of 2013 which I should've done in 2012 because I promised them in 2011 and planned in 2010.

101

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