Search for #hashtags, @writers or keywords

Posts Liked by jamine

Isn't it weird how we basically have an endless mental conversation with ourselves?

7

We are like snowflakes. All different in our own beautiful way.

17

some people become cops because they want to make the world a better place.

some people become vandals because they want to make the world a better looking place.

93

In which language would you prefer I tell you how much I do not give a shit?

I have my translator app open, fire away.

182

Can you imagine parents nowadays explaining to their kids how they met?

"Well, it all started one day when your dad 'liked' one of my selfies."

218

"You only live once?"
FALSE
You Live Everyday

You only DIE ONCE.

17

What's the difference between a northern fairytale & a southern fairytale?

A northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time..."

A southern fairytale begins "Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit..."

3

I have endured the worst of life alone.
I don't need anyone.
You are in my life because I value you and want you there.

15

the truth is in the way it hurts

9

Today a feminist asked me how I view lesbian relationships.....apparently "in HD" was not the right answer...

345

"Please let it go to voicemail..please let it go to voicemail..please let it go....."
"Oh, hey, I'm glad I caught you..."

4

Next time someone is looking over my shoulder at my computer screen, I am going to open a new tab and search on "How to kill the person behind me".

8

I would not want to be involved in a fight with a person who bleeds every month and still lives.

225

You can tell a lot about a womans mood just by her hands.

For example, if she's holding a gun, shes probably angry.

16

You can tell a lot about a womans mood just by her hands.

For example, if she's holding a gun, shes probably angry.

71

when you have 1 minute of sadness, you lose 60 seconds of happiness.

27

That moment between Netflix episodes where you see your reflection on the black screen and wonder what the fuck you're doing with your life

118

What happens if you get scared half to death a second time?

1

If someone got addicted to counseling, what kind of treatment would they get?

2

A cop pulled me over and said, "Your eyes look a little red. Have you been drinking?"
I said, "Your eyes look a little glazed. Have you been eating donuts?"

I need bail money.

5

Capitalization is the difference between "helping your Uncle Jack off a horse" and "helping your uncle jack off a horse".

14

Teamwork is essential for allowing you to blame someone else.

1

The only cold air I enjoy is from opening the doors of my fridge.

2

My favorite mythical creature is the happy bitch in tampon commercials.

237

I'm opening a gym called "Resolutions". It will have exercise equipment in it for the first two weeks, then it turns into a bar for the rest of the year.

255

Let's be nothing, I heard it lasts forever.

310

Keep trying to raise the bar.
Even when they try to use it, to beat the shit out of you.

161

If I marry a Canadian, I've decided that the children will be raised metric.

224

show more

About Help Contact Copyright Privacy Terms