Posts Liked by Imangeelica

YOU SHOULD STOP TELLING LIES ABOUT ME.

OR I WILL START TO TELL THE TRUTH ABOUT YOU.

Don't worry about the paddles. But, you can be slightly concerned by the nipple clamps and the car battery.

SATAN?!?!?!

I have too many things to do... so I'm going to develop a multiple personality disorder...

Me: for Christmas I
want a unicorn.

Santa: be realistic!

Me: ok I want a
boyfriend.

Santa: what colour do
you want your
unicorn?

When I was a boy, my mom would send me to a corner shop with 1$ and I'd bring back 2 leaves of bread, 3 bottles of milk, butter, cheese and some marmelade. You can't do that now... Too many fuckin' security cameras.

Mick Jagger Day

do you know that...

a gold fish will turn white if you only keep it in the dark

Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.

Stupid autocorrect.

You always end up posting some thong you didn't Nintendo.

If you quit school, just remember two things.

1. You tried your best,

and

2. I don't like pickles on my Big Mac.

Physics:
Heat makes things expand.

So, I'm not overweight, I'm just a little too warm.

Sometimes I wrestle with my inner demons. Other times, we just hug.

Hey, want to double your iPhone battery life? Put the fucking thing down.

Dear Karma,

I have list of people you've missed

weihnachten könnte nicht schöner sein

I don't want to love you

but I do.

STRESS IS
CAUSED BY GIVING A FUCK.

DISNEY
GAVE
ME
UNREALISTIC
EXPECTATIONS
ABOUT
LOVE

Möchtest du auch einen Orangensaft zum Frühstück ?

Okay, aber nur drei Fingerbreit Wodka. Ich muss noch fahren.

zombies eat brains...

you're safe.

Happy international women's day!

Now go, make me a sandwich.

I'm BOLD this way!

I should probably unleash my trading bot onto the NYSE.

Whenever I delete an app on my phone,
the shaking icons make me feel like they're all panicked over who's getting axed •

success is the best revenge.

I didn't believe in love anymore until I met you.

never dry your eyes if you still want to cry

It's winter.
Call me old fashioned but I think your shorts should be longer than your vagina.

a pretty face gets old.
a nice body will change.
but a good woman will always be
a good woman.

the problem with the world is that the intelligent people are full of doubt, while the stupid people are full of confidence.

What happens in Vegas...
ends up on Facebook.

Weekends are like an orgasm.
It takes a lot to get there and when you finally did, it's over in no time...

if you want something you've never had,
then you've got to do something you've never done.

$_==/ i i \==_ /XX/ |\___/| \XX\ /XXXX\ |XXXXX| /XXXX\ |XXXXXX\_ _XXXXXXX_ _/XXXXXX| XXXXXXXXXXXxxxxxxxXXXXXXXXXXXxxxxxxxXXXXXXXXXXX |XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX |XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXX/ ^ ^ ^ ^ " \XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX/ ^ ^ ^^ \XXXXXX |XXX| \XXX/ ^ ^ \XXXXX/ ^ ^ \XXX/ |XXX| \XX\ \X/ \XXX/ \X/ /XX/ "\ " \X/ " /"$

it takes only a minute to get a crush on someone, an
hour to like someone, and a day to love someone-but it
takes a lifetime to forget someone.

No Standing
Only Dancing

Dear automatic flushing toilet,

I appreciate your enthusiasm...
but I wasn't finished.

You can tell a lot about a woman by her hands, I learnt...

For instance, if they're placed around your throat she's slightly upset.

You sound better with your mouth closed.

They say a picture says a thousand words, this one just says thirteen.

want a realtionship?
buy a sheep and call it relation.

You're just jealous, because the voices only talk to me!