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Posts Liked by ilanofthecross

I wonder if I am single because of all these chain messages I didn't forward when I was twelve

47

Being famous on Instagram is like being rich on Monopoly.

268

That's a beautiful fake picture of you, by the way...

71

Prince Charming is gay and living with Mr Right.

35

If I wanted to kill myself I would climb your ego and jump to your IQ.

734

I don't watch soccer...

If I want to spend 90 minutes watching people struggling to score, I take my friends to a bar.

398

The first word I want to teach my kid is "brains".

Then, until he/she learns another word, I'll have the cutest little zombie ever.

2

A baby's laughter is one of the most beautiful sounds you will ever hear.

Unless it's 3am.

And you're home alone.

And you don't have a baby.

427

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