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Posts Liked by HUMENtravisty

I CAN'T DECIDE WHAT PANTS TO PUT ON TODAY:
SMART OR FANCY!

9

so I used to do drugs...

...well, I still do but I used to too.

7

DO
EPIC
SHIT.

10

Learn the rules like a pro so you can break them like an artist.

132

where
is
tank girl?

4

Reality TV Killed the Movie Star

23

I DONT
T R U S T
WORDS.
I TRUST
A C T I O N S .

8

The only person you can control is you

7

if you like having sex while listening to music - always choose a live album. that way you'll get an applause every 3 to 4 minutes.

7

Good friends are priceless, wherever you are.

10

It's better to
feel pain,
than nothing
at all.

• The Lumineers

27

At the touch of love everyone becomes
a poet.

Plato

73

When you make your peace with authority
you become authority.

9

Mindless Jibberish

14

I like creating awkward silences

121

wouldnt it be ironic... to die in the living room?

48

If you ever feel powerless, remember that a single one of your pubic hairs can shut down a whole restaurant.

39

i have
sexdaily.

i mean
dyslexia.

fcuk!

31

Love her but leave her wild.

- Atticus

26

let's see if my software will work on your hard drive.

29

It may have been in pieces, but i gave you the best of me.

- Jim Morrison

35

your demons and
mine want to have dinner some time.

76

...upside down, under water, blindfolded, bound & gagged...

Don't lose hope...

This too shall pass...

8

A good girl is hard to find. A bad girl is hard to resist.

46

I got Mood Poisoning. Must have been something I hate.

79

I found your nose.

Its in my business again.

135

I want you to know that I love the third word in this sentence.

179

Welcome to Plastic Surgery Addicts Anonymous.

I see a lot of new faces in the room this week and I'm very disappointed with all of you.

95

A fuck must be earned. I can't go down the street with a bucket of fucks, giving them out to everyone.
If I feel that you've earned it, I will give a fuck.

132

I HOPE YOUR DAY IS AS NICE AS YOUR BUTT

250

Break rules, not hearts.

410

Ironically, the fight between the mind and the heart always ends up hurting the liver.

417

Yes mom I know my room is a mess it's a metaphor for my life, i'm trying to be poetic.

462

My doctor asked if anyone in my family was suffering from mental illness. I said; "no, we all seem to enjoy it"

367

you came on your own,
that's how you'll leave.
with hope in your hands and air to breathe.

39

B F D
OPEN GOLD U FREE
L U I A C A E
DART NERD K REAP

30

They told me to follow my dreams...

...So I took a nap...

56

I forgive and forget,

because I have a good heart and a terrible memory.

70

You never know a person until you walk a mile in their shoes...

...or until you check their browser history.

72

the soul wouldn't have rainbows
if the eyes had no tears.

69

Daily routine:

wake up
be awesome
go back to sleep

88

While waiting for the right person, have fun with the wrong one.

94

they told me
I couldn't,

that's why I did.

129

The truth is, everyone's going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.

- Bob Marley

178

I love listening to lies when I know the truth...

226

Being famous on Instagram is like being rich on Monopoly.

269

You look like something
I draw with my left hand.

959

FUCK

[ ] IT
[ ] ME
[ ] YOU
[x] OFF
[ ] THEM
[ ] THIS
[ ] EVERYBODY
[ ] EVERYTHING

146

Fuck can be used in many ways and is probably the only fucking word that can be put every fuckingwhere and still make fucking sense. Fuckers

12

life begins at the edge of your comfort zone

17

I expect change

but I also accept credit cards

35

Mom always said "It's only a golden shower if you don't drink enough water."

29

Children in the backseat can cause accidents.

Accidents in the backseat can cause children.

14

So you have a fake tan, fake hair, fake boobs, fake nails.Now tell me again how you want a real man

9

I saw some ducks practicing their teenage girl faces at the lake today.

30

KarmaSutra:
When fate fucks you in all sorts of creative ways.

37

That moment between Netflix episodes where you see your reflection on the black screen and wonder what the fuck you're doing with your life

13

How do you sink a submarine full of blondes?
You knock on the door

13

a virgin getting pregnant, l can believe. but three wise men?

85

YOU SHOULD STOP TELLING LIES ABOUT ME.

OR I WILL START TO TELL THE TRUTH ABOUT YOU.

15

we are the kids our parents warned us about

11

Do what makes you naked.

43

Relationship status:

Looking for a WiFi connection.

41

Always remember to be nice to people who have access to your toothbrush.

58

Skinny girls think they are chubby,
chubby girls think they're fat
and fat girls think they can wear leggings •

33

Try to be less of a fucking piece of shit than you were yesterday.

- Buddha

295

Children in the back seat cause accidents. Accidents in the back seat cause children.

43

A Blind Man walks into a
bar.
And a table.
And a chair.

108

Telling a girl to "calm down" is like trying to baptize a cat.

566

Voices in your head - normal

Listening to them - common

Arguing with them - acceptable

Losing the argument - BIG PROBLEM

703

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