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Posts Liked by HellenMichelle

In a relationship one person is always right and the other person is a male.

38

I broke up with my gym we were just not working out

55

SMH

=

Sex Might Help

39

I need a hug or 6 shots of vodka.

264

Sometimes I feel useless but then
I remember
I breathe out carbon dioxide for plants.

394

I had a great time last night...well thats what the police report says.

238

Can't get out of bed.

Send help....,
or waffles.

Just send waffles.

247

TONIGHT...
WE
ARE
YAWN

90

A fuck must be earned. I can't go down the street with a bucket of fucks, giving them out to everyone.
If I feel that you've earned it, I will give a fuck.

321

Your ass must get jealous of all the shit that comes out of your mouth.

452

it's not a Sunday unless you completely waste it then feel really sad around 8pm

337

Potatoes give us french fries and vodka.

It's your move, celery.

231

Have you ever noticed that a woman's
"be ready in 5 minutes"
and a man's
"be home in 5 minutes"
are exactly the same?

289

getting no message is also a message...

258

Don't be ashamed of who you are.

That's your parents job.

270

lazy is a very strong word.
i like to call it selective participation.

279

Love what you have before life teaches you to love what you've lost.

284

SO SCARED AND EXCITED

like when you have to poop and the bathroom is in Narnia

93

I just arrived at that point of the week where I want it to be friday or go back to bed..

155

If I had 24 hours to live...

Ah, fuck it. I'd probably just sit and eat chicken from a bucket.

168

My heart and my brain only agree on one thing..

Food •

157

you are a hurricane of a girl.

remember to breathe every once in a while, do not drown within your own storm.

111

I swear if my
memory was any worse, I could plan my own surprise party.

231

Dating an ex is the equivalent of failing a test you already had the answers to.

233

lick
me
'till
ice cream

158

You are only as good as the drinks you mix, the tables you dance on and the friends you roll with.

524

The sex was so good even the neighbours had a cigarette.

283

I just awesomed all over the place.

317

Lets lay in bed all day, and trade sexual favours, for trips to the fridge.

146

I celebrate diversity

I have all kinds of problems

119

If Adam and Eve were Chinese,
we would still be in paradise because they would have ignored the apple and eaten the snake.

210

may i
please
hold
your hand
and walk
with you
in the
quiet
comfort of
a silent
peace

102

Your pants say yoga, but your ass says McDonalds!

204

Did you know that if you put your ear up a strangers leg you can hear them say:
What the fuck are you doing?!?

258

if you walk a mile in my shoes you'll end up at the bar.

199

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