Posts Liked by hampuspurs

There's always a light at the end of a tunnel.
Just pray it isn't a train.

The awkward moment when your chair makes a farting noise and you can't make the noise again to prove you didn't fart.

No, you're not fat. You're just easy to see.

Always and never
are words you should always remember never to use.

$My Unicorn was NOT that happy when I mounted him.•••• ______\)%%%%%%.__ ` ' ' ' ' _'_; % % % % ''_. :b) \ . : :___) ' ' ; : . : : : / `'.' : o__ i/ : ; : ; ' ' ` `nbn`$

I'll advice you...don't mess with me:
I know Karate, Judo, Taekwondo, Jujitsu... and over 20 other dangerous words.

When the cockroaches are wearing party hats, it's time to clean the kitchen.

What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists?

In that case,
I definitely overpaid for my carpet.