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Posts Liked by halsal

humans. at the top of the food chain. at the bottom of the social chain

53

darling,
the only thing you're good at is pretending

63

till death do us party

62

I get it other planets,
I have no life either.

81

I slept with your mom!
I slept with your mom!
I slept with your mom!

Shut up dad, you're drunk!

96

Some days I just want somebody to hug me and say, "I know it's hard. You're going to be okay. Here's coffee and 6 million dollars."

139

If you had a bad day, don't take it out on me.

Unless we're both naked.

115

Learn the rules like a pro so you can break them like an artist.

132

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