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Posts Liked by haley12

Me: I want a magical unicorn for Christmas!

Santa: Be realistic.

Me: OK, I want 5 minutes to myself each day to have my coffee hot and pee in peace.

Santa: What colour unicorn would you like?

185

die with memories,
not dreams.

329

We forgive
others,
often, but,
we rarely
forgive
ourselves.

6

My favorite mythical creature is the happy bitch in tampon commercials.

237

santa gets all the credit

and i get all the bills...

177

We have each other and everything else is background noise.

191

we live long enough to realize we don't live long

201

I'm opening a gym called "Resolutions". It will have exercise equipment in it for the first two weeks, then it turns into a bar for the rest of the year.

255

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