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Posts Liked by gators1972

Going to McDonalds for a salad is like going to a prostitute for a hug.

628

Whenever I delete an app on my phone,
the shaking icons make me feel like they're all panicked over who's getting axed •

583

When anybody honks at me in traffic, I blush, wave, and shout, Thanks for being a fan. Being a celebrity is a 24/7 thing.

10

If I would have had 3 kids I would have named them Control, Alternate, Delete. If 1 fucked up i could slap them all. :)

8

I can't tell you how many times I've had to cancel a date because my dog keeps dying.

57

Taking your ex back is like buying your own shit back from your own garage sale.

6

This is going to be one of those straight-jacket, padded room, no sharp objects, happy pills kind of weeks... I can feel it.

5

My favorite part of sex is that moment I look deep into his eyes and wonder what the fuck his name is.

8

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