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Posts Liked by EvilRegal

You are my favorite human.

22

your heart's a mess

10

Kate Middleton once asked the queen.

"What's the secret of a long life?"

To which the queen replied "Wear a seat belt and don't piss me off!

11

Prince William is 100% royal, but Kate Middleton is 0% royal.

This means their son is the half-blood Prince.

9

Kate Middleton went into labor on July 22nd in London.

When the rest of the Royal Family heard, they were like, "Oh my God....what's "labor"?"

3

THE MOST DANGEROUS THING TO WANT IS

MORE.

16

I only want
3 things:

See you
Hug you
Kiss you

12

Those who are heartless, once cared too much.

162

If you have a headache, do what it says on the bottle--take 2 and KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN!

13

Is old enough to know better, but still young enough to try and get away with it anyway.

9

Throwing fertilizer at people that need to grow up.

105

If tomorrow, women woke up and decided that they really liked their bodies, just think how many industries would go out of business.

16

Based on how I react when toast pops out of the toaster, I will never look cool walking away from an explosion.

17

Osama Bin Laden was one of the most wanted men
in the world. Yet a few years ago, he was stopped for speeding in Pakistan without being recognized...

Unbelievable!

8

Just because she likes sex, doesn't mean she shouldn't be treated like a queen at all times.

29

If you see someone crying, ask if it is because of their haircut •

37

Let's kiss.
Let's fuck.
Let's order pizza.

23

I just eye rolled so hard, I burnt 5 calories.

105

I like Vodka but the problem is that it forgets me in the morning & I don't remember that I had it last night!

14

No great mind has ever existed without a touch of madness

66

Time to get out of bed and worry from another location.

39

I just read an article on my ipad about the evils and dangers of drinking.
I think I'll stop--reading.

68

When you ask me what I am doing today, and I say "nothing"
It does not mean I am free. It means I am doing nothing.

146

You know that voice that says, "Don't do that"?

Yeah, I don't have one of those.

99

WHOREIBLE.

60

Follow your inner moonlight;

don't hide the madness.

63

If men could get pregnant, not only abortion would be legal, but birth control would be free, mandatory and bacon-flavored

80

Breakfast is the most important meal of the day unless you have dinner with me.

97

THINK

INK

40

People complain about auto correct but it’s helpful 99% of the titties.

95

beautiful things don't ask for attention

159

The only thing we learn from history is that we don't learn from history.

166

100% of non-
smokers die too.

184

I wish you would listen closer to the songs I play. The lyrics are the words I fail to say.

224

may i
please
hold
your hand
and walk
with you
in the
quiet
comfort of
a silent
peace

102

An Australian kiss is like a French kiss

but Down Under

154

Do you believe in miracles?

Me neither.

I believe in risks, faith and tequila.

183

No matter what kind of instant noodles you buy, they all taste like poverty and loneliness.

181

if you walk a mile in my shoes you'll end up at the bar.

199

i just want some
body

107

Let's get drunk and fall in love every other weekend.

243

Dear Ex,

Please don't be fooled by Adele, you'll never find someone like me.

377

Porn titles always lack depth and imagination. Yes, we all know college girl is trying anal for the 1st time, but what's her major? Her dreams?

151

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