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Posts Liked by Diamond

I'm not an asshole. I'm actually one of the nicest people you'll ever meet. You're just pissed because I see right through your bullshit!

41

When you see someone you know but don't want them to see you...So you "unsee" them... ( *_*)

6

Women can't complain about men anymore until they start getting a better taste in them.

3

Raising kids is not easy?

Consider it a penalty for sex.

2

We like to talk about our rights.

Maybe it's time to talk about our responsibilities?

8

Any type of organized religion is a bureaucracy layer between man and God that none of them needs.

5

If you think the things I say out loud are bad, you should hear the things I keep to myself.

572

That depressing moment when you check the price tag and walk away in shame...

17

My "Knight in Shining Armor" turned out to be just a loser in aluminum foil!

27

BEFORE SEX...YOU HELP EACH OTHER GET NAKED, AFTER SEX YOU ONLY DRESS YOURSELF.

MORAL OF THE STORY: IN LIFE NO ONE HELPS YOU

ONCE YOU'RE FUCKED.

13

I love making people who don't like me hate me more by just being me.

612

Respect yourself enough to walk away from anything that no longer serves you, grows you, or makes you happy.

42

Ass hole is an exit, not an entry point.

1

Don't walk on the grass!

Smoke it!

6

You CAN have it all.

You just can't have it all at once.

8

Don't tell me what people say about me, tell why they feel comfortable telling you.

15

Saw my midget neighbor at the bus stop, told her to hop in I'll give her a lift.

The ungrateful ass said "fuck off". So I zipped my backpack and continued walking.

17

If I'm still able to walk to the kitchen after sex, you don't deserve a sandwich.

128

If raising children was easy, women would never have started with something called LABOR.

3

What a wonderful thought it is that some of the best moments of our lives haven't happened yet.

15

I live for the nights that I can't remember with the people I won't forget.

478

Want a perfect girl?

Buy a fuckin' BARBIE!

11

The ability to speak does NOT make you intelligent!

5

There comes a time when you realize that you'll never be good enough for some people.

Question is,
is that your problem or theirs?

16

well, if you met my family you would understand

9

Just because you're a drama queen doesn't mean I'm gonna treat you like royalty!

12

Always act like you're wearing an invisible crown.

11

Those who are heartless, once cared too much.

162

Size
Doesn't
Define
Your
BEAUTY!

12

one day, maybe we'll meet again .

23

And maybe at night when we're all a little too tired and a little too truthful, that's when we see ourselves for who we really are.

564

Being two-faced doesn't make you multi-talented!

8

Candy Crush Saga is a game version of pure cocaine!

6

Don't compare your Chapter 1 to someone else's Chapter 20.

16

Sometimes it's best to unwind, even if it's a little reckless.

13

When they said you can be anything, they didn't mean you can't be yourself.

So be yourself because everyone else is taken.

8

Ladies, lets take extra long to look stunning for all the guys we'll be ignoring tonight.

590

I still have no idea why it's called a beauty sleep when you wake up looking like a fuckin' troll!

168

The day you die will be like any other day - except shorter.

8

Most of my life I look for "wow" and end up with "oops".

2

Live each day like it's your last one, and one day you will get it right.

5

As I grew older I thought I became more tolerant.

The fact is I just stopped caring.

4

Life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.

4

"To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance."

6

I dream of a better world where chickens can cross roads without having their motives questioned.

9

somewhere between the heartaches & waiting, comes the chance to be found by someone who can show you that you don't have to be just an OPTION, but the only CHOICE.

9

A baby's laughter is one of the most beautiful sound you'll ever hear.

Unless it's 3 am, you're home alone and YOU DO NOT have a baby!

19

SOMETIMES THE HARDEST THING AND THE RIGHT THING ARE THE SAME.

35

Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf & I can't speak English.

10

Me? Crazy?

I should get down of this unicorn & slap the shit outta ya

7

The best sign of a healthy relationship is no sign of it on Facebook.

823

Everyone has an ugly friend. If you don't have an ugly friend then,

well....this is awkward.

11

note to myself: drink less, write more.

13

Negative people need drama like oxygen. Stay positive and you'll take their breath away.

629

The world is full of magic; to not understand this is failure to embrace one's true self.

17

you can run from a place

and you can mask a feeling

but you can't simply erase

if you want true healing.

24

A little shoe was upset: its father was a loafer and its mother was a sneaker.

7

With the right music, you either forget everything or you remember everything

783

I'm watching Harry Potter.

Perhaps Voldemort's face is flat because he ran into the wrong wall at the train station.

10

I don't think out of it, but I work out of the box.

5

Telling a girl to "calm down" is like trying to baptize a cat.

566

"Trusting you is my decision, proving me wrong is yours."

11

Brains are awesome!

I wish everyone had one.

7

A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.

4

Favorite type of music to play during sex?

You.

198

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