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Posts Liked by delle

Das du miserabel Auto fährst, weißt du spätestens dann, wenn dein Navi sagt:

"Bitte in 150m rechts ranfahren.
Ich möchte aussteigen."

52

Mangels Milch habe ich heute für mein Müsli Cola verwendet.

Und anstelle des Müslis Whisky.

Improvisieren kann ich.

66

If I wanted to kill myself I would climb your ego and jump to your IQ.

459

My doctor asked if anyone in my family was suffering from mental illness. I said; "no, we all seem to enjoy it"

366

The sex was so good even the neighbours had a cigarette.

283

Telling a girl to "calm down" is like trying to baptize a cat.

148

Here's a tissue, you have a little bullshit on your lip.

218

Today, 2 year olds can unlock an iPhone, open and close their favorite apps all by themselves.

When I was that age,
I was eating dirt.

169

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