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Posts Liked by dcabre3

She said "tell me something super dirty", I said "Your kitchen bitch!"

129

Your pants say yoga, but your ass says McDonalds!

204

Do you believe in miracles?

Me neither.

I believe in risks, faith and tequila.

183

Today, 2 year olds can unlock an iPhone, open and close their favorite apps all by themselves.

When I was that age,
I was eating dirt.

617

10% of conflicts are due to differences in opinion.

90% are due to wrong tone of voice.

473

You make me smile...

And also super horny, but that's not the point.

363

Never depend on someone else to make you happy, that's what alcohol is for.

222

You're not fat! C'mon, chin up.

No, the other one...

195

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