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Posts Liked by Curry

It's not that diabetes,
heart disease and obesity
runs in your family. It's that no one runs in your
family.

203

I have just one word for beautiful women with questionable morals, poor decision making skills and an insatiable sex drive:

"Hi".

159

See you all in church.

Just kidding, meet you at the bar.

176

It's not that I'm tired.

It's just that I don't like standing on my feet with my eyes open.

173

It's hard to find a friend who's cute, loving, generous, sexy, caring and smart.
My advice to you all is, don't lose me.

51

I had a great time last night...well thats what the police report says.

238

it's not a Sunday unless you completely waste it then feel really sad around 8pm

337

Potatoes give us french fries and vodka.

It's your move, celery.

231

The word "Listen" has the same letters as the word "Silent".

"So Shut Up"

249

your demons and
mine want to have dinner some time.

188

some of the best moments in life are the ones you can't tell anyone about

160

Have you ever looked at someone and thought...

'Yep... you have a person locked in your basement.'

163

Wow, that was rather inappropriate.

Let's be friends.

91

I'm not saying let's go kill all the stupid people. I'm just saying let's remove all the warning labels and let the problem sort itself out.

197

When you ask me what I am doing today, and I say "nothing"
It does not mean I am free. It means I am doing nothing.

56

I may look calm but in my head I have already killed you three times AND hid the body.

241

Most of us can keep a secret. It's the people we tell it to who can't.

140

i'm wearing my friday socks.

they're like normal socks, but they're ready to party.

83

How am I meant to control my life I can’t even control my hair

125

I wish I could trade my heart for another liver so I could drink more and care less.

78

EVERYONE'S IRISH ON MARCH 17th

399

I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HAPPY
AND MAYBE
A LITTLE BIT NAKED.

265

Ironically, the fight between the mind and the heart always ends up hurting the liver.

82

Let's go camping.

In a hotel.
With a pool. And a spa.

136

I live for the nights that I can't remember with the people I won't forget.

97

I don't make mistakes,
I date them.

172

The sex was so good even the neighbours had a cigarette.

283

LET'S DO SOME "WE SHOULDN'T BE DOING THIS" THINGS.

262

others have sex in the kitchen, I eat in bed

367

I like the nights.

Some of my best days were nights.

241

Home sweet mess.

264

i just burnt my tongue on some food

they say the ones you love hurt you the most

270

It's not illegal. It's just frowned upon. Like masturbating on an airplane.

1546

Food is my favorite. If I ever share it with you, then you're pretty damn special.

48

I'm not going to be the girl you marry, but I'll be the girl you'll be thinking of 20 years from now while you engage in polite sex with your boring wife who fakes her orgasm to make you feel better about your receding hairline.

41

Can't
stop drinking about
you.

73

You seem like a sweet person.

Mind if I lick you to find out?

59

SMART HAS THE
PLANS,
STUPID HAS
THE
STORIES.

15

Have you ever noticed that a woman's
"be ready in 5 minutes"
and a man's
"be home in 5 minutes"
are exactly the same?

108

I never needed you. I wanted you.

There's a difference.

185

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