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Posts Liked by cobalt410

She said "tell me something super dirty", I said "Your kitchen bitch!"

129

Did you know that if you put your ear up a strangers leg you can hear them say:
What the fuck are you doing?!?

258

They say that beauty is on the inside, but I've seen enough crime scenes to know that's not true.

160

I followed my heart and it led me into the fridge.

278

Dear Ex,

Please don't be fooled by Adele, you'll never find someone like me.

377

I love waving at random people, because you know for the rest of the day they're trying to figure out who the hell you were.

789

Telling a girl to "calm down" is like trying to baptize a cat.

566

Today, 2 year olds can unlock an iPhone, open and close their favorite apps all by themselves.

When I was that age,
I was eating dirt.

617

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