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Posts Liked by chewychews

What's the difference between me and a calendar?

A calendar has dates.

26

I think barstools should come with seat belts and air bags.

11

3 KINDS OF SEX
>House Sex
When your're newly married & have sex all over the house, in every room.
>Bedroom Sex
After you've been married for a while, you just have sex in the bedroom
>Hall Sex
You just pass each other in the hall and say "Fuck You"

22

When you find humor in something that has gone wrong, you win.

20

"Sag mir die
magischen
drei Worte."

"Morgen
ist Freitag."

31

Manchmal wünsche ich mir die Ruhe und Gelassenheit eines Stuhles...

Der muss auch mit jedem Arsch zurecht kommen.

32

I get my hair cut twice a week. Mostly because I love capes.

16

The joy of watching couples grow fat together on Facebook...

39

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