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Posts Liked by Caandy

Was sagt ein grosser Stift zum kleinen Stift?

- Wachsmalstift.

39

Sometimes i grab my boobs. Because, well, I can.

42

Three people sleeping together is called a threesome.

Two people sleeping together is a twosome.

Guess that's why people call me handsome.

61

friendship is delicate as a glass, once broken it can be fixed but there will always be cracks.

2

when you thought your friendship would last all you end up with is tons pictures and broken glass

1

friendship is the most fragile; it can be broken just by words

1

It's hard to move on from a broken heart but it's harder to move on from a broken friendship

3

Friendship is like a glass ornament, once it is broken it can rarely be put back together exactly the same way

8

i also want to be nude

-but do i really have to take ALL my clothes off?

4

in some days i just hate everyone

1

If I ever sound inspirational,
one of us is drunk.

38

If you knew how many trips to the bathroom every phone has taken, you'd never, ever, ever, ever, ever touch somebody else's phone. Ever.

34

Wer seinen eigenen Weg geht, kann nicht überholt werden.

55

I'm not so sure about an inner child, but I have an inner idiot that surfaces every now and then.

167

I wish you could last as long in bed as you do in an argument.

99

The oceans are the heartbeat of the world.

96

we're all in this mess together.

89

Meine Lehrer haben keine Ahnung, die fragen mich andauernd.

24

Hope.

78

be the kind of gentleman that holds the door
open for your girl, but smacks her ass as she walks in.

127

Ich soll dich vom Niveau grüssen.

Ihr seht euch ja nicht so oft.

58

you remind me of a software update, whenever i see you i think
"not now!"

140

The internet is both my best friend and my worst enemy.

82

Out of all of my body parts I feel like my eyes are in the best shape. I do at least a thousand eye rolls a day.

107

Years, lovers and glasses of wine should never be counted.

98

Worry is a down payment on a problem you may never have.

104

Zu früh,
zu kalt,
zu Montag.

49

Sitting in a bar having drinks with a friend...
I casually pointed to two old drunks sitting across the bar from us and said " That's us in ten years".

He said "That's a mirror, dipshit!"

108

Zersplitterte Smartphone-Displays sind die aufgeschürften Knie der heutigen Jugend.

51

the bad news is:
time flies...

the good news is:

you are the pilot.

111

Eins muss ich ja meiner Müdigkeit lassen:
Kondition hat sie.

38

I walk around like everything is fine, but deep down, inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off.

151

We're expecting 2 or 3 feet of drama tonight, with bullshit blowing in from everywhere. High possibility of "go, fuck yourself" at late night.

92

Whatever,
I have boobs.

119

It takes just a little bit of you to make a lot of me

91

Früher war alles besser.
Gestern zum Beispiel,
da war Sonntag.

32

Yesterday I lost a good friend to a tragic accident. They got their finger caught in a wedding ring.

114

Manchmal ertappe ich mich dabei, wie ich mit mir selbst rede. Und dann lachen wir beide.

44

People always will judge you and everytime they do, punch them in the face with your unconcerned smile.

105

I call my wallet a nonprofit organization.

107

Es gibt Tage, da wirst du mit dem Kopfschütteln einfach nicht fertig!

42

Your future self is watching you right now through memories.

111

Honesty
is better than sugar coated bullshit.

113

Cinderella never asked for a prince, she asked for a night off and a dress.

109

We are the last people standing, at the end of the night.

We are the greatest pretenders, in the cold morning light.

86

Wenn mir langweilig ist, schreibe ich eine SMS an eine fremde Nummer mit:
“Leiche vergraben, was jetzt?“

40

you decide whether you're alone or by yourself.

it's just two different places in your head for the same thing.

101

We're all unfinished puzzles

arguing over the missing pieces

80

Wednesday
It's almost, kind of, sorta, close to, just about, nearly the weekend.

74

Wenn das die Lösung ist,
dann hätte ich gerne mein Problem wieder.

47

That moment when you pour a bowl of cereal but realise there is no milk, so you just stand there wondering why bad things happen to good people.

98

Verlasse dich auf dein Herz, es schlug schon bevor du denken konntest!

34

I used to think you were my happily ever after, but now I've realized that you were only my once upon a time.

121

Life is too ironic to fully understand.
It takes sadness to know what happiness is. Noise to appreciate silence and absence to value presence.

147

The truth is, airports have seen more sincere kisses than wedding halls.
The walls of hospitals have heard more whispers of prayers than churches.

103

Real men don't love the most beautiful girl in the world, they love the girl who can make their world the most beautiful.

75

Sometimes it's
not the butterflies that tell you you're in love, but the pain •

90

Let's kiss.
Let's fuck.
Let's order pizza.

97

BY THE WAY,
I'M WEARING
THE SMILE
YOU GAVE ME.

220

You are a tornado
with pretty eyes and a heartbeat.

43

I never needed you. I wanted you.

There's a difference.

185

I like to be alone.
But I would rather be alone with you.

270

Kiss me if i'm wrong...
But dinosaurs still exist right?

26

Right before having sex I always like to whisper "you're going to regret this".

39

Breaking a mirror is 7 years of bad luck, breaking a condom is 18.

30

If I havent
said something sexual to you then we probably
aren't good friends •

30

Do you ever just
look at somebody
and wonder how
they moan during sex..?

40

Having sex doesn't make you a slut, and being a virgin doesn't make you a saint.

58

I'm not responsible for what I'll do to you when I'm with you.

50

treat me like a princess
fuck me like a pornstar

69

If I'm still able to walk to the kitchen after sex, you don't deserve a sandwich.

128

some of us are so scared of the unknown that we create our own cages

181

Bedtime is wonderful because I get to do two things I love: nap and worry.

83

I like mysteries so I decided to become one.

137

Aufstehen ist der erste Schritt in die falsche Richtung.

32

a friend isn't your friend until they defend you in your absence

168

"Schatz, ich habe heute zum ersten Mal online Lebensmittel bestellt."

"Du Blödmann hast
mir per WhatsApp geschrieben, dass
ich einkaufen soll."

"Sag ich doch... online!"

31

My doctor told me to watch my drinking so I found a few places with mirrors behind the bar.

110

i want to fuck you so bad right now.

damn autocorrect..

i meant hey.

175

It's okay.

My comebacks are as epic as my fuck-ups.

120

If you find yourself, how will you know it's you?

109

Es ist wirklich hart ein Kaktus zu sein, ständig bist du spitz und keiner will dich anfassen.

34

Your voice was the soundtrack of my summer

85

It's
Pink Tuesday

38

the light became too heavy and we fell into a dream

63

A group of kids is called a migraine.

111

Mit diesen Selfiestangen haben wir ja damals noch den Müll auf dem Pausenhof aufgesammelt...

54

we know too much, and are convinced of too little

81

I will save you from the darkness.

78

Go away responsibilities, nobody likes you.

112

Learn to appreciate silence in a world that never stops talking.

155

Wer morgens zerknittert aufwacht hat den Tag über jede Menge Möglichkeiten zur Entfaltung

36

Of all the things I've loved and lost, I miss my star trek pyjamas the most.

84

Light is easy to love.

Show me your darkness.

175

Ich glaube, Frauen haben einfach noch nicht realisiert, wie gut ich laut meiner Mutter aussehe...

31

Beauty on the inside doesn't get you free drinks.

133

LOVE IS IN THE AIR
TRY NOT TO
BREATHE

141

Put someone's genitals into your mouth and no one bats an eye

eat a chip off the ground and everyone loses their minds.

95

An die Person, die meine Schuhe versteckt hat während ich auf der Hüpfburg war:

Werd erwachsen!

35

Sometimes I want to go back to the days of cartoons, snacks, and naps. Then I remember...coffee, liquor, and porn.

100

Sport gibt Dir das Gefühl, dass Du nackt besser aussiehst.

Tequila übrigens auch.

52

the trouble is...

other people.

107

I'm only avoiding you because you stole my yogurt in a dream I had

91

unprotected sleep

Turning off your alarm clock and immediately going back to sleep, risking not waking up for a job, class, or other daily task.

92

We can, we always could. We just never knew if we would. Never knew we should...

128

Did you know, that 3-4 glasses of wine per day can reduce your risk of giving a shit.

143

I keep looking at the stars tonight, in the hopes of
finding you...

95

Wären meine Pläne aus Hefe würden sie wenigstens aufgehen.

53

we just use the future to escape the present

111

Whatever happens..

Don't use the bathroom in your dreams..

It's a setup!

116

Less confrontation and more conversation.

90

be weird. be random. be who you are. because otherwise you will never know who would love the person you hide.

158

Waiter, there's a reflection of a sad and lonely man in my soup.

110

Manches sollte man einfach liegen lassen.

Mich im Bett zum Beispiel.

33

If you ever feel powerless, remember that a single one of your pubic hairs can shut down a whole restaurant.

115

Läuft bei dir, zwar rückwärts und bergab aber läuft

41

Manchmal ist es das Klügste, Gedanken zurück ins Egal zu stellen.

63

luxury is building tommorrows, living todays, and cherishing yesterdays. ...

72

In another universe we're at the beach.

64

If you think I talk too much, let me know..

So we can talk about it!

115

First dates are full of promise...

Like how he'll promise anything to get you into bed.

80

Of all the books in the world, the best stories are found between the pages of a passport.

122

Brains are the new tits.

122

Es gibt größere Dinge als unser Einkommen;
zum Beispiel unsere Ausgaben.

34

You can't breathe - so you write.

87

Ich: Soll ich es kaufen?
Kopf: Nein! Konto: Nein! Partner: Nein!
Universum: Nein!
Ich: Gekauft!

45

I don't believe in guilty pleasures. If you fucking like something,

like it.

104

Interessanterweise haben ja Leute mit total wenig Ahnung immer sehr viel Meinung.

74

sometimes all you need is 1 million dollar and a new identity.

170

this grave stone was won on a boldomatic competition

47

You know you're fucked when those late night thoughts start hitting you in the middle of the day..

162

Warum sind

Pizza-Schachteln

eckig?

32

the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else

134

Auch wenn du noch Jungfrau bist, Arielle ist immer Meerjungfrau.

42

I could
write poems on your neck with my lips.

173

Is "Fuck you" an emotion? Because I feel it all the time.

185

THE STONE YOU THROW MY WAY COULD BE THE STONE YOU TRIP OVER TOMORROW...

169

I need a glass of wine.
Or a bottle.
Or a winery in Italy.

185

Life is what happens to you when your internet data pack expires.

175

Gibt es ein Leben vor dem Wochenende? Ich habe mächtige Zweifel!

30

SOME PEOPLE
SAY SORRY
IN THE TONE OF WHATEVER

199

3 erschreckende Fakten des Tages:

Heute ist kein Freitag.
Morgen ist kein Freitag.
Übermorgen ist kein Freitag.

60

I TRY TO BE A
NICE PERSON...
BUT SOMETIMES
MY MOUTH
DOESN'T
COOPERATE.

219

Every time I put my phone on silent, it decides to play 'hide and seek'

140

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