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Posts Liked by buttercup0306

The internet is both my best friend and my worst enemy.

4

i have this bumper sticker that says "honk if you think i'm sexy" and then i wait at green lights until i feel better about myself.

135

i want to fuck you so bad right now.

damn autocorrect..

i meant hey.

102

Sometimes,
even Google
can't help you.

140

You know you're getting old when your year of birth is no longer immediately visible in drop-down menus and you have to start scrolling down.

114

THIS IS BY FAR YOUR MOST FUCKED UP IDEA EVER... I'LL BE THERE IN 10MINUTES.

208

Be careful who you make memories with, those things can last forever.

62

having a vagina doesn't stop me from believing that my balls are bigger than yours.

82

I swear if my
memory was any worse, I could plan my own surprise party.

51

I always start phone conversations with "my phone is about to die.." just so people don't waste my time.

70

Better grab my dumbrella.

It's really stupid out there today.

98

she's a mess of gorgeous chaos & you can see it in her eyes.

59

Sorry, but your password must contain a capital letter, two numbers,
a symbol, an inspiring message, a spell,
a gang sign,
a hieroglyph and the blood of a virgin.

170

If your religion is worth killing for, please start with yourself

226

bad decisions make good stories

423

Release Your Inner Badass.

90

Sometimes I feel useless but then
I remember
I breathe out carbon dioxide for plants.

115

My love is like a candle.

If you forget me, I'll burn your house down.

136

You make me smile...

And also super horny, but that's not the point.

203

A lot of people cry when they cut onions, the trick is not to form an emotional bond.

213

I WANT TO HAVE TEXT WITH YOU.

257

You remind me of my big toe, cause i'm going to bang you on every piece of furniture I own

273

I just awesomed all over the place.

317

Sun goes down earlier for short people.

279

If I wanted to kill myself I would climb your ego and jump to your IQ.

459

My doctor asked if anyone in my family was suffering from mental illness. I said; "no, we all seem to enjoy it"

367

You look like something
I draw with my left hand.

959

laundry today
or
naked tomorrow

577

With you I feel a very specific warmth..
as if our hearts are holding hands •

34

I haven't lost my mind... half of it just wandered off, and the other half went looking for it...

132

I used to be a people person, but people ruined that for me.

31

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