Search for #hashtags, @writers or keywords

Posts Liked by br3aststrok3r

My girlfriend says that I only have two faults...

...I don't listen, and something else.

47

Be a little more you,
and a lot less them.

31

it's much nicer to be alone together

44

One of the greatest paradoxes of your physical senses is that your eyes show you what you believe, not what you see.

39

Be more than what you think is easy

32

if this conversation was a horse, somebody would have shot it by now.

24

There are no rules. Failure is not as bad as it seems. Go do that crazy thing.

60

When you get angry, take a deep breath and count to ten.

When you get to eight, throw a punch.

No one ever expects that.

77

ALCOHOL INCREASES THE SIZE OF THE 'SEND' BUTTON BY 89%.

64

Remember, there are two words in life that will open a lot of doors for you.

Push and Pull.

63

make everything legal. there's nothing left to burn.

35

If stupid people realize they are stupid, are they stupid no more?

57

At night, memories weigh double....

51

If Love can fade, so can Pain

54

Roll your eyes harder maybe you can find a brain back there.

86

I could write the story of my life with all the words I never said

103

You can't be late until you show up

80

Still learning about not giving a shit.

82

And the bad guy got away again

49

Someone might as well dress me as a donkey and attach a carrot on a long stick to my head and call it a boyfriend.

48

Millions of people worldwide join the Women's March in response to Donald Trump's inauguration as President of the United States.

39

After we've destroyed everything, you up for a cappuccino?

61

women don't fart. They however shoot tiny puffs of glitter, that sound like a unicorn's laughter and smell like rainbows.

57

We want emotion instead of information.

48

just grew up and it was horrible

53

I hate the smell of her presence when she isn't here.

56

and she is dancing
to the fridge again

54

I love fat layers
of dust.

On the alarmclock.

During holidays.

52

Life is too short to worry about the bottom of the toothpaste tube.

69

Let's make our time count.
In the end it's just a bunch of yesterdays and very little moments.

58

Sometimes
I have to take a nap in the afternoon. It is starting. Death is sending postcards.

90

just saw a guy at starbucks.
no iphone, no tablet, no laptop.

he just sat there drinking coffee.

fucking psychopath.

113

Tomorrow,
I'll start a new tour
around the sun.

59

Waking up from a nap, not knowing which century it is.

65

Apparently you have to eat healthy more than once to get in shape. This is cruel and unfair.

80

The ironic thing about loss is that it stays...

73

I've seen enough porn to understand the meaning of life.

58

life has its own ways of surprising you.

Just keep exploring.

74

A nurse finds a rectal thermometer in her pocket and thinks,
" some asshole has my pen "...

71

my heroes are dead and my enemies are in power

58

Live your days in happiness as these will be your flashbacks of tomorrow.

63

All I want
for Christmas
is you.

naked..

85

for every snowflake that falls, there is an idiot who forgets how to drive

76

We can't control time, but we always meet twice.

56

humans. at the top of the food chain. at the bottom of the social chain

53

This is a very abstract image of Santa.

53

I'm dreaming of a white Christmas.
But, if the white runs out,
I'll drink the red....

69

As you grow older
your Christmas list gets shorter
because the things
you really want
can't be bougth.

71

I have acid rain in my brain
and it's killing the flowers in my heart

71

I plan my days carefully:

Wake Up
Plan stuff
Do other stuff
Go to bed

82

Its the
eyes that
tell.

Not the
smile.

83

Flying is the

art of throwing

yourself at the ground...

and missing.

64

Trust me...
When I woke up today, I had no plans to be this sexy.
But hey, shit happens.

92

you've got
to work
with your
mistakes
until they
look intended

76

They tried to bury us

They didn't know we were seeds...

86

Reality these days is anything but real

47

My goal in life is to piss off at least one person a day.

So far I'm about 12 years ahead of schedule

94

You might as well have a sticker saying 'Drama' stuck on your forehead.

50

Four billion years ago the planet Earth was molten rock. Four years ago boldomatic was born. Thank you all for making this happen.

86

YOU REALLY
CAN'T HEAR
THE WATER
WITHOUT
THE WIND

47

Oh what a lovely day. Everything's still stupid and we're
all dying.

68

Good fucking luck USA

82

The year is 2048. The grilled cheese emoji has
been elected president for a 2nd term.

60

Somewhere in an alternate universe, a dinosaur mom is baking people shaped chicken nuggets for her kids..

74

No trees were killed to send this message, but a large number of electrons were terribly inconvenienced

76

Nothing is scarier than the people who try to find easy answers to complicated questions.

92

I'm not good at push ups, pull ups, or sit ups.

I'm pretty good at fuck ups tho.

100

“I guess sunsets are proof that endings can be beautiful too.”

97

I was originally against getting a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind

82

Let's just stay here a little while.
Between reality and dream.
Between heaven and hell.
Between normality and madness.

90

Words may be as capable of spreading hate and starting wars, but, I still think they're far superior to
guns and bombs,
for spreading
peace, love, and understanding.

66

One of these days,
I'm going to go on vacation and forget to come back

58

Merde !

If you can't say something nice,
say it in French.

54

None are so empty as those who are full of themselves

84

I love how we hate all the same things

76

Life is very beautiful...., when you know how to celebrate your pain...

70

Seems to me that my Life is Worth more than I paid for it.

51

According to really smart people we should start caring.

59

and when you dream of me
remember i like my hair pulled

66

when you change the way you look at things
the things you look at change

81

t h e t i m e i s l a t e r t h a n w e t h i n k

62

a wise woman once said "fuck this shit"...

and she lived happily ever after

88

fear hides within the shadows of hate.

71

She was beautiful and kind. her name is death and she is more alone than all of us, she shows Mercy for the weary hearted and sickest Minds. we take walks from time to time amongst the tombs of long forgotten souls.. we have long talks about those below our feet or above as ghosts but when we speak of the Dead she always holds my
hand to let me know I am not one of the Damned.

67

That moment when your shampoo says "to fix damage" but after the shower your feelings are still broke.

66

Sometimes even the devil on my shoulder asks 'what the hell are you doing?'

94

To hell with happy endings.

I'm here for the story.

89

The path of the righteous man is...

Eh fuck it, I'll just take a taxi.

50

Take nothing
but memories,
leave nothing
but footprints.

81

It's lonely at the top, but cars look like ants which is cool.

47

I wonder when just being me will be enough

69

A lifetime of training for just seconds of competition.

50

I decided to write in the rain to see if the water would take the ink somewhere I would like to follow.

49

There is a storm inside my head and it's killing all the flowers.

73

it was just a thought passing by leaving inspiration in its footsteps

57

Remember the good ol days when you would just ask a guy if he had a girlfriend or wife and now you gotta make sure he ain't voting Trump.

67

1996: Stop playing pokemon and go outside.

2016:Stop playing pokemon and come inside.

101

Your happiness is the greatest revenge against those who bring you down.

86

"Fuck it" tends to be the last thought I have before making a decision.

110

your ex looked like the partner of your dreams. salt looks like sugar. gin looks like water.
you're really wondering why I have trust issues?

68

We are all recycled stardust.

69

The circus in my head is getting bigger.

Go get some more popcorn.

56

What the fuck do birds have to be so happy about at 5am?

124

i like people with emotional and intellectual depth, people who speak with passion from their inner twisted mind.

87

Fall for messy, not the perfect.
Fall for reality not the illusions..

77

I feel fucked,
but in a good way.

75

When you try your hardest not to be a fucker, but everyone you deal with is a fucker, so you end up being a bigger fucker just to outfuck the fuckers.

93

Being a father means responsibility. Not just for your main family, but also the secret one in Denmark nobody knows about.

60

And if I asked you to name all the things you love, how long would it take to name yourself ?

98

Anything that costs you your peace is too expensive.

117

MOVE FAST,
TRAVEL SLOW.

59

the real fun is offside.

43

Unnecessary cursing.

Fucking hate that.

79

Hearts bigger than egos.

Sexy as fuck.

60

I didn't realise
how much
I hated you
until
you
started
speaking.

79

float
like
a butterfly
sting
like
ali.

70

I think my problem is that I have really fantastic bad ideas.

95

Being bold enough to walk to the beat of your own drum - never goes out of style.

70

I love you so much that there is almost no chance I'd use you as a bait during Zombie Apocalypse.

60

A black cat crossing your path - signifies that the animal is going somewhere

79

the nice part about living in a small town is that when you don't know what you're doing, someone else does

97

I'M NOT DRUNK
I'M
SOBEER.

75

You're "sorry", and I watch porn for story lines.

67

No need to drive me crazy, I can walk from here

108

One therapy session is more expensive than an average bottle of wine.

Just saying.

88

First days of spring seem to be the best drug discovered yet.

71

Between what is said and not meant, and what is meant and not said, most of love is lost.

99

Sometimes, you just have to play the role of fool to fool the fool who thinks they are fooling you.

131

politics

society's worst achievement and best failure rolled into one

54

THE EXPERT IN ANYTHING WAS ONCE A BEGINNER!

87

THE SLAVES OF TODAY ARE NOT DRIVEN WITH WHIPS, BUT WITH SCHEDULES.

John Steinbeck

117

If you had a bad day, don't take it out on me.

Unless we're both naked.

115

It wasn't perfect,
it didn't make sense,
but that was the
beauty of it.

118

like a one legged man in an arse kicking contest, I'm not so good at thinking ahead.

71

silent and listen are spelled with the same letters...

163

You look like all my dreams came true

103

Teach me things. Introduce me to different authors, artists, and music. That shit is sexy as fuck.

116

horngry

93

The only 'B' word you should call a woman is 'Beautiful'

Bitches love being called beautiful.

102

I'm sorry you're upset after finding out the world doesn't revolve around you...

Here, let me pour you a nice cup of get the fuck over it

130

Mi papá tiene 47 años.
= My dad is 47 years old.

Mi papa tiene 47 anos.
= My potato has
47 assholes.

I love Spanish!

121

becoming me was the greatest creative project of my life

105

If you see me eating a salad in a restaurant, I've been kidnapped and I am trying to signal you!

131

I bet in 2000 years they are gonna be digging up the rubble of our destroyed earth and they will find a Nokia still on half battery.

112

The risk I took was calculated..

But man,

I'm bad at math..

116

I can't be the only one who's ever wanted to jump in a taxi and shout:

"Follow that car!"

102

Love is unconditional. Love is, "I know you're a fucking psycho maniac, but I'm willing to deal with that."

117

Society has become so fake that the truth actually bothers people

120

If the Earth
could have a baby,
would she let Humanity hold it?

78

I moaned and complained once because I had no shoes...Then I met a man who had no feet...And I bowed my head with shame for my complaints

74

you will never look like the girl in the magazine, the girl in the magazine doesn't even look like the girl in the magazine.

131

The word diarrhea.
Looks like it was written in a hurry.

78

I'm not crazy, my reality is just diffrent from yours

120

ONLY CAPS LOCK CAN CAPTURE THE GREATNESS OF LIFE

56

the words you speak become the house you live in

80

Dear paranoid people who check behind their shower curtains for murdereres, if you do find one, what's your plan?

123

I'm not necessarily saying I want to be rich but it would be nice to not have to check my bank account before purchasing Ramen noodles

106

I have never done this before

so I'm confident
I can do it

76

sugar melts in the rain
Sadly shit floats

77

The Internet!

Where everything is completely true.

73

I've finally accepted the fact that my behavior will never catch up with my age.

130

Be the gift someone is waiting for.

107

The war on drugs brought in more drugs.
The war on terror created more terrorists.
Maybe next year we can have a war on money and jobs and see where it goes . . .

114

You better hope that Santa doesn't see your browser history

98

If you think the Mount Everest is high, come and see my Mount Laundry!

105

I know the voices aren't real but man do they come up with some great ideas

117

If you ever feel sad remember that there's a number you can call and a pizza will be there in 30 minutes.

113

I will stop wearing black when another colour becomes equally as dark.

97

MILLION DOLLAR IDEA.

A SMOKE DETECTOR THAT TURNS OFF WHEN YOU YELL "I'M JUST COOKING FOR FUCKS SAKE"

99

There are two kinds of people in life: Those who walk into a room and say "Well here I am" and those who walk into a room and say "Ahh there you are"

105

Heroes
are normal people with big hearts

120

I learned to swim before I burned any bridges.

90

Don't judge a person for drinking and swearing, judge the quiet sober ones.
Those fuckers are up to something.

113

Picking up dog poo...that's loyalty.

67

I’m starting to think I’m white enough to play Michael Jackson.

61

We live and then someone comes and makes you feel alive...

96

My gf told me: “Sex is better on holiday”. That wasn't a very nice postcard to receive.

95

I wish I could slap some sense into people

87

Push the snooze button for me, will you?

56

Even if there was no gravity on earth, I'd still fall for you.

117

Dear feelings,

I will not ignore you because without you I'd feel dead.

81

I haven't lost my mind... half of it just wandered off, and the other half went looking for it...

132

Most people have X's

I have a bunch of Y's & WTF's

93

My boss told me to have a nice day. So I went home.

171

whenever you feel getting pulled into other people's nonsense, repeat these words :

Not my circus.
Not my monkeys.

147

I don't know if I'm hungry, but I'm going to eat anyway...just in case

110

I WANT TO HAVE TEXT WITH YOU.

110

If you are going to be weird,
be confident about it.

117

Psychology says, you're not afraid to love, you're afraid of not being loved back.....

104

i have never stopped loving you.

not counting those days you had your period,
of course.

93

most people love sunsets

only because they're too sleepy to watch the sunrise

119

I have an angel on one shoulder and a devil on the other.

I'm also deaf in one ear.

133

If sex, shots, or sleep can't solve it, you have a fucking problem.

182

Life is too ironic to fully understand.
It takes sadness to know what happiness is. Noise to appreciate silence and absence to value presence.

147

Once they stop talking to you, they start talking about you.

135

The more your mind is confused, the more you should listen to your heart.

173

That moment when you pour a bowl of cereal but realise there is no milk, so you just stand there wondering why bad things happen to good people.

98

Wednesday
It's almost, kind of, sorta, close to, just about, nearly the weekend.

74

Cinderella never asked for a prince, she asked for a night off and a dress.

109

We are the last people standing, at the end of the night.

We are the greatest pretenders, in the cold morning light.

86

We're all unfinished puzzles

arguing over the missing pieces

80

I call my wallet a nonprofit organization.

107

the bad news is:
time flies...

the good news is:

you are the pilot.

111

I walk around like everything is fine, but deep down, inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off.

151

We're expecting 2 or 3 feet of drama tonight, with bullshit blowing in from everywhere. High possibility of "go, fuck yourself" at late night.

92

Worry is a down payment on a problem you may never have.

104

Sitting in a bar having drinks with a friend...
I casually pointed to two old drunks sitting across the bar from us and said " That's us in ten years".

He said "That's a mirror, dipshit!"

108

I wish you could last as long in bed as you do in an argument.

99

The oceans are the heartbeat of the world.

96

I could
write poems on your neck with my lips.

173

the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else

134

A penny
for your thoughts,
5 bucks if they are dirty.

112

Sometimes I don't finish a book, but I act like I did, which is the opposite of my interactions with pizza.

94

s i g o i
o s c
m d b u
e o j e l
t u t
i t s d
m h t i
e i f
s n t f

102

I don't believe in guilty pleasures. If you fucking like something,

like it.

104

Brains are the new tits.

122

If you think I talk too much, let me know..

So we can talk about it!

115

be weird. be random. be who you are. because otherwise you will never know who would love the person you hide.

158

Did you know, that 3-4 glasses of wine per day can reduce your risk of giving a shit.

143

I'm only avoiding you because you stole my yogurt in a dream I had

91

If someone points at your black clothes and asks, whos funeral it is, you just look around the room, and answer, 'haven't decided yet.'

247

he who knows not and knows not that he knows not is a fool

87

I just wanna dance on the highest roof with you while stars are shining and smiling at us.

128

some of us are so scared of the unknown that we create our own cages

181

Bedtime is wonderful because I get to do two things I love: nap and worry.

83

a friend isn't your friend until they defend you in your absence

168

i want to fuck you so bad right now.

damn autocorrect..

i meant hey.

175

I will save you from the darkness.

78

Go away responsibilities, nobody likes you.

112

Learn to appreciate silence in a world that never stops talking.

155

Light is easy to love.

Show me your darkness.

175

Here's to the nights that turned into mornings with the friends that turned into family.
Cheers to you.

196

Kiss me like your ex is watching

211

If it takes someone 12 minutes to get the straw into the Capri Sun, this should give you some indication as to what they are like in bed.

Back away slowly, then run fast, run far.

145

Sarcasm and orgasm. Two things most people don't get. Those who do are smiling right now.

197

Dad, you've always been like a father to me.

99

TOO BAD THERE ISN'T A VACCINE AGAINST STUPIDITY.

122

DIFFICULT ROADS
OFTEN LEAD
TO BEAUTIFUL
DESTINATIONS

213

Be careful who you make memories with, those things can last forever.

235

I CAN-CER VIVE

135

you are the
tree standing
in the middle
of a hurricane
with both middle
fingers up in the air.

145

I just don't have the energy to shit butterflies and piss rainbows today.

178

One of the most cruel acts that a human can do to another human, is to cause a person to lose hope.

323

I fear the people who can bite ice cream.

243

Unless you can question your own beliefs, you have no place questioning the beliefs of others.

202

It's not a walk of shame if you leave with a moonwalk.

191

The distance between insanity and genius is measured only by success

213

We all think we're smart
until we try to turn on
someone else's shower.

212

I'm not
afraid of heights.
I just don't like
clouds.

133

In which language would you prefer I tell you how much I do not give a shit?

I have my translator app open, fire away.

182

quit your job
travel the world
die happy

173

i think therefore

i don't have much in common with a lot of people

236

A world

with a little less selfies

and a little more selfless.

244

Let's be nothing, I heard it lasts forever.

310

Keep trying to raise the bar.
Even when they try to use it, to beat the shit out of you.

161

I like the idea that someone, somewhere is made for you, forever.

225

If you asked me how many times you have crossed my mind I would say once, because you never really left.

289

I swear if my
memory was any worse, I could plan my own surprise party.

231

Quick!
No time to explain...
grab a donkey

134

lick
me
'till
ice cream

158

mess up my bed with me.

140

My heart and my brain only agree on one thing..

Food •

157

I never make the same mistake twice, i make it five or six times just to be sure

3

In life you will find that you have to make decisions that make sense to none but you.

182

there's a little truth behind every
"just kidding"
a little curiosity behind every
"just wondering"
a little knowledge behind every
"i don't know"
and a little emotion behind every
"i don't care"

250

I'm lucky to love someone as much as i love you

1

When i say I'll be ready in 5 don't tell me to hurry up ever 30 minutes!

3

If life gives you lemons keep them because hey free lemons.

1

teeth:
because blow jobs need to come with a gentle reminder of who's really in charge

95

People complain about auto correct but it’s helpful 99% of the titties.

95

I love waving at random people, because you know for the rest of the day they're trying to figure out who the hell you were.

788

I am one Candy Crush invite away from murdering someone.

386

Don't be sad laundry,
no one is doing me either

222

soon as you realize love is in the air, somebody farts.

203

You're not fat! C'mon, chin up.

No, the other one...

195

A moment of silence to all the people who can't find their name on a coke bottle.

51

I like to be alone.
But I would rather be alone with you.

523

You make me smile...

And also super horny, but that's not the point.

363

in Denmark, we're so rich

we pay with crowns

564

What if when we die the light at the end of the tunnel we see is just us being pushed out of another vagina?

163

BY THE WAY,
I'M WEARING
THE SMILE
YOU GAVE ME.

220

When people tell me I'm insane, the voice in my head tells me I'm normal.

141

I 'm gonna hang a Batman outfit in my closet just to screw with myself when I get Alzheimer's.

197

I wish you would listen closer to the songs I play. The lyrics are the words I fail to say.

224

If Adam and Eve were Chinese,
we would still be in paradise because they would have ignored the apple and eaten the snake.

210

only when a mosquito lands on your testicles, you realize there's a way to solve problems without using violence.

185

Did you know that if you put your ear up a strangers leg you can hear them say:
What the fuck are you doing?!?

258

I wear my weirdness on the outside.

164

7 BILLION PEOPLE, 14 BILLION FACES.

254

The things about beards; they kind of grow on you.

150

With the right music, you either forget everything or you remember everything

783

I like the nights.

Some of my best days were nights.

582

show more

About Help Contact Copyright Privacy Terms