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Posts Liked by Boldart

How do you know when you are too drunk to drive? When you swerve to miss a tree then realize it was your air-freshener.

85

You are afraid to die, and you're afraid to live.
What a way to exist ..

82

Hey Santa, you know who else liked to judge people?
That dude Hitler.

54

I knocked out a guy who said bacon sucks. No one talks about my friends that way

82

Keep reaching for the stars.

But, please, get a better deodorant.

98

The first word I want to teach my kid is "brains".

Then, until he/she learns another word, I'll have the cutest little zombie ever.

184

Irony is 15 year old mothers using protective covers on their smartphones

194

Ladies, lets take extra long to look stunning for all the guys we'll be ignoring tonight.

137

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