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Posts Liked by BezauberndeFee

I exercised once, but found I was allergic to it. My skin flushed and my heart raced. I got sweaty and short of breath. Very dangerous.

30

Me: I want a magical unicorn for Christmas!

Santa: Be realistic.

Me: OK, I want 5 minutes to myself each day to have my coffee hot and pee in peace.

Santa: What colour unicorn would you like?

185

Go Jesus! It's your Birthday!!

121

santa gets all the credit

and i get all the bills...

177

in Denmark, we're so rich

we pay with crowns

564

Stop asking WHY I'm still single.

I don't ask how you're still married.

219

My biography will be titled "Be Yourself And Other Ways To Stay Single."

269

it's not a Sunday unless you completely waste it then feel really sad around 8pm

337

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