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Posts Liked by bex91dje

You should stop worrying about your weight and start worrying about your boring personality.

23

Drop pants
not bombs.

137

I love making people who don't like me hate me more by just being me.

612

justice is
a beautiful concept.
unicorns too.

562

Negative people need drama like oxygen. Stay positive and you'll take their breath away.

629

You are only as good as the drinks you mix, the tables you dance on and the friends you roll with.

524

Sun goes down earlier for short people.

664

LISTEN TO SILENCE

612

If I wanted to kill myself I would climb your ego and jump to your IQ.

734

My doctor asked if anyone in my family was suffering from mental illness. I said; "no, we all seem to enjoy it"

812

The best sign of a healthy relationship is no sign of it on Facebook.

823

life is what happens when you put your phone down.

928

A church is a hospital for sinners, not a club for saints.

91

I don't approve of political jokes

I've seen too many of them get elected.

85

You're as annoying as that app that turns sideways when I lay down.

139

Your ass must get jealous of all the shit that comes out of your mouth.

240

for halloween this year we should all just dress up as who we really are

nobody would recognize anyone

98

What's more awkward, the first kiss or the first fart?

21

Can you remember who you were before the world told you who you should be?

379

You make me smile...

And also super horny, but that's not the point.

363

My favorite part of the World Cup is shots of crying people.

132

if you rearrange the letters in

MOTHER IN LAW

you get

WOMAN HITLER

184

Never depend on someone else to make you happy, that's what alcohol is for.

222

Sometimes, you just have to put tape on your nipples and go running in the rain.

124

Kiss me like your ex is watching

256

There is a pretty good chance I'll end up being one of those senior citizens who randomly bites people.

178

renamed my ipod the Titanic, so when i plug it in, it says "the Titanic is syncing" he he

213

Quick!
No time to explain...
grab a donkey

134

lick
me
'till
ice cream

158

Intellectual is the new hipster.

132

we had been trying to be adults for so long, and it wasn't until we were 18 and laying on the bathroom floor drunk that we realized that age is just a number and reality is learning that there is no such thing as being an adult, you only grow older, and if you're lucky,
a little wiser

219

I had a great time last night...well thats what the police report says.

238

Life is like a Bollywood movie: colorful, humorous, and usually you have no idea what the fuck is going on.

289

Don't be ashamed of who you are.

That's your parents job.

270

for halloween this year we should all just dress up as who we really are

nobody would recognize anyone

211

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