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Posts Liked by antonw99

The blurred picture around the smartphone is called life.

261

The most amazing people are the ones that don't speak much, but when they do, they shut up a lot of mouths.

295

Faster than the speed of light is when you can take a bottle of beer out of the fridge before the light comes on.

263

If you think the things I say out loud are bad, you should hear the things I keep to myself.

572

On top of spaghetti, all covered with cheese.
I lost my poor meatball, when somebody sneezed.
It rolled off the table, and onto the floor.
And then my poor meatball, rolled out the door...

178

that awkward moment when I'm drunk
and you're still ugly

478

Anybody have any plans to stare at their phones somewhere exciting this weekend?

320

I wish I had boobs so people would stop making eye contact with me.

458

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