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Posts Liked by AlexandraPow

5 percent of my brain is listening to you, The other 95 is still wondering why I am listening to you.

13

Your value doesn't decrease based on someone's inabiltity to see your worth!

10

a house is not a home without a coffee machine

17

s i g o i
o s c
m d b u
e o j e l
t u t
i t s d
m h t i
e i f
s n t f

102

I walk around like everything is fine, but deep down, inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off.

151

Whatever,
I have boobs.

119

That moment when you pour a bowl of cereal but realise there is no milk, so you just stand there wondering why bad things happen to good people.

98

I hate when people say you don't need alcohol to have fun... Well you don't need running shoes to run but it fucking helps.

188

I'm not crazy about reality, but it's still the only place to get a decent meal.

88

I can't turn water into wine,
but I can turn pizza into breakfast

143

I get far too little credit for all the things I don't say.

132

Everyone should believe in something, I believe I'll have another beer

87

Most people have X's

I have a bunch of Y's & WTF's

93

My boss told me to have a nice day. So I went home.

171

I WANT TO HAVE TEXT WITH YOU.

110

I am a kid at heart and a 47 year old coal miner at liver.

72

If I died and went to hell it would probably take me a while to realize that I'm not at work anymore.

53

Truth is like a lion. You don't have to defend it, it will defend itself.

6

I'm sorry, I don't want to see ugly people on TV. It's enough they're the majority in the 'real world'.

9

A church is a hospital for sinners, not a club for saints.

206

People don't want to hear about your diet.

Just eat your lettuce, and be sad.

196

I work well with others when they leave me the fuck alone.

14

When the rich robs the poor, it's called business. When the poor fights back, it's called violence

19

many people are alive only because it's illegal to shoot them

3

$(\/) (\/) ( • •) (• • ) •( \ \ / / )• BUNNY LOVE$

9

The Rules of How to Party: Drink a lot,
Eat a lot,
Dance a lot,
Talk a lot,
And have FUN!
(ps: if you think you look retarded your probably doing it right)

3

Wakey
Wakey
Eggs 'n'
Backey

5

Keep Calm
it's
only a
Hangover •

12

Alcohol:
some of the best times you'll never remember

31

I don't remember much from last night but the fact that I needed sunglasses to open the fridge this morning tells me it was awesome.

44

TEQUILA:

Deleting memories since 1762 •

40

ALCOHOL DOESN'T CAUSE HANGOVERS WAKING UP DOES

88

It doesn't matter how old you are - if a ballon is about to hit the floor, you dive for that shit.

57

Showers are great.
They make you feel nice and clean and you sound like a professional singer.

66

If you can't convince them, confuse them.

75

Of course your opinion matters,

Just not to me.

162

Being famous on Instagram is like being rich on Monopoly.

269

It's better to be late, than to arrive ugly.

190

Sorry, but your password must contain a capital letter, two numbers,
a symbol, an inspiring message, a spell,
a gang sign,
a hieroglyph and the blood of a virgin.

170

To be in the 1%, you have to do what 99% won't.

69

If I wanted to kill myself I would climb your ego and jump to your IQ.

459

bad decisions make good stories

423

How am I meant to control my life I can’t even control my hair

125

If you're looking for sympathy, you'll find it in the dictionary between shit and syphillis!

111

Promote what you love instead of bashing what you hate.

620

I love waving at random people, because you know for the rest of the day they're trying to figure out who the hell you were.

310

My internet was down for 5 minutes so I went downstairs and spoke to my family.

They seem like nice people.

356

Having an
orgasm
and calling
out your
own name.

14

I spent my entire childhood wishing I was older. Now I'm older and this shit sucks !

15

[ ] Happy DRUNK

[ ] Violent DRUNK

[ ] Sad DRUNK

[ ] Angry DRUNK

PICK ONE

13

A negative mind will never give you a positive life

30

a speech should be like a mini skirt;

short enough to be interesting,

long enough to cover the subject.

10

Keep rolling your eyes.

Maybe you'll find a brain back there.

54

Logic will get you from A to B.

Imagination will take you everywhere

15

drunk me loves creating awkward encounters for sober me

19

Two types of people that annoy me:

Drunk people when I'm sober.

Sober people when I'm drunk.

21

stop telling me drinking ain't cute. i ain't trying to be cute.

i'm trying to get drunk!

30

I don't know why people find drunk texts annoying.

You're the only person they're thinking of when their brain can't even function properly.

18

my girlfriend told me to go out and get her something that makes her look sexy.

so i came back drunk...

16

You don't really know someone until you get ridiculously drunk with them •

35

Coffee keeps me busy until it's time to be drunk.

37

If you believe in luck..

Wish me some.

16

you never realize how boring your life is until someone asks what you like to do for fun

21

Dear LOL: Thanks for being there when I have nothing else to say.

50

Of course I speak my mind.

My head would explode if I kept all this bitching to myself •

27

I hate when I don't forward a chain letter, and die the next day.

21

The trouble with jogging is, by the time you realize you're not fit for it, it's too far to walk back •

105

I am one Candy Crush invite away from murdering someone.

386

I'm not an alcoholic, alcoholics go to meetings.

I'm a drunk, we go to parties.

73

spilling a full beer you paid for is the adult equivalent of letting go of a balloon

82

Let me tell you a bit about my background...

Well, It's green.

80

BACTERIA
THE
ONLY
CULTURE
SOME
PEOPLE
HAVE

68

to me 'drink responsibly' means don't spill it.

106

Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence.

20

• LOVE •
a temporary insanity, curable by marriage.

11

There is a big difference between a guy and a girl saying,

"I went through an entire box of tissues during that movie."

722

You are only as good as the drinks you mix, the tables you dance on and the friends you roll with.

524

i've
fallen
in love
with you,

but you
don't exist.

533

THIS "NORMAL" YOU SPEAK OF DOESN'T SOUND FUN AT ALL.

428

Carpe Noctem

Seize The Night.

261

Whenever I delete an app on my phone,
the shaking icons make me feel like they're all panicked over who's getting axed •

532

POPPING BOTTLES WITH MODELS

2

the truth only hurts when it should.

312

people actually paint their walls this color

1

Efficiency is intelligent laziness.

9

Quiet people have the loudest minds.

520

Just like twitter.

Just much bolder.

2

My favourite thing about this sentence is that by the time you realise it's not going anywhere, you've already read it.

59

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