WillyFerrell's Posts

This kills me every time twitter.com/BadJim007/stat…

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This dog communicates better than most people lol
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You can’t spell quarantine without “u r a q t” #SocialDistancingPickUpLines

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Around 2% of the world's population are considered "sleepless elite", which means they are night owls and early birds simultaneously.

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Get your green for St Paddys day before it's too late

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Sarcasm is the ability to insult stupid people without them realizing it.

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Being sarcastic on a regular basis can add up to 3 yrs to your life. Sarcasm is extremely healthy for the mind.

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Twitter is basically just you having a conversation with yourself hoping that someone else will join in.

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Listening to music at high volumes makes a person calmer, happier and more relaxed.

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According to astronomy, when you wish upon a star, you're actually a few million years late. That star is dead. Just like your dreams.

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Ziya likes this

Life is better when you're laughing.

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eulekauzig, Ziya, UserOne and swatchUSA like this

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Hitting snooze on your alarm can make you more tired than if you had gotten up right away.

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Facebook = You realize how different you are from others.
Twitter = You realize there are people who know exactly how you feel.

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The word "mortgage" comes from a French word that means "death contract."

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A male’s testicles hang at different lengths so they don’t damage each other or collide when running/sitting.

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More than 90% of people are no longer friends with someone that they once called their best friend.

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Dogs cannot feel guilt. They can only feel sad because their owner is yelling at them.

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Biggest lie ever... "I have read and agree to the terms of use."

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Being able to instantly respond with sarcasm within seconds of a stupid question is a sign of a healthy brain.

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Clinomania is the excessive desire to lay in bed all day.

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In Switzerland, you can be denied citizenship for being too annoying.

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Dogs can see sadness in humans and often attempt to make their owners happy by initiating cuddling.

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It is estimated that millions of trees in the world are accidentally planted by squirrels who bury nuts and then forget where they hid them

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World's shortest horror story consists of only two sentences: "The last man on Earth sat alone in a room. There was a knock on the door."

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Fionacatherine likes this

If a friendship lasts longer than 7 years, psychologists say it will last a lifetime.

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Male elephants will often use their penis as a 5th leg to support their weight.

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The best friendships tend to be those in which you can be openly weird and or sarcastic without that person taken offense.

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Chocolate, sex and laughter are all key to a healthy brain.

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It takes the brain approximately 90 seconds to decide whether or not you like someone.

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Misophonia is a condition in which you are easily annoyed or angered by little things. Such as a person who eats or breathes too loudly.

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At one point, Coca-Cola contained nearly nine milligrams of cocaine in each glass.

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Intelligent people tend to care less about the opinions of others, they also enjoy being alone because of great sense of self.

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Being sarcastic can make people mentally stronger.

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Owning a pet improves quality of life, enhances happiness and adds years to your lifespan.

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Chocolate ice cream has been proven to significantly reduce emotional and physical pain.

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how l managed to see drake, post malone, and travis scott all perform Iive for a total of $0 dollars..

[??????]

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If you weighed 100 kilos on Earth, you would only weigh 38 kilos on Mars. You're not fat - you're just on the wrong planet.

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The most powerful way to win an argument is by asking questions. You'd be surprised at how it can make people see the flaws in their logic.

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Being closed minded literally makes you stupid. People who aren't open and understanding to change have lower IQ's.

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You’re not truly comfortable with someone until you can sit with them in silence, and it’s not awkward.

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Drakonan, karlokoenig and swatchUSA like this

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Since we spend roughly 20 years of our lives sleeping, our dreams are technically considered to be an alternate reality.

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Apples are more efficient at waking you up in the morning than caffeine.

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The higher your IQ level, the easier it is to resist peer pressure. Intelligent people are less concerned with the approval of others.

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It is healthier to sleep in the nude than with clothes on.

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A man can reduce his chances of getting prostate cancer by having at least 4 orgasms a week.

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People who laugh more are able to tolerate pain better, both physical and emotional.

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There's a book called "Everything men know about a women"
It's a book of 120 blank pages.

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Before sleeping, 90% of your mind begins to imagine stuff you'd like to happen.

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A snail can sleep for three years.

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Being able to instantly respond with sarcasm within seconds of a stupid question is a sign of a smart and healthy brain.

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Having at least one "lazy day" per week can reduce stress, high blood pressure and the chances of having a stroke.

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According to a survey, men can listen to their male friends for ages, but he can only listen to his girlfriend or wife for six minutes.

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Intelligent men and women are more easily annoyed by people in general.

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Holding grudges is not only bad for your mental health, but it also has a physical effect on your brain.

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People who stay up late tend to be bigger risk-takers.

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Having sarcastic friends will make you more creative. Sarcasm is considered a brain stimulant.

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swatchUSA likes this

Having sex 3 times a week, has proven to make you look 5-7 years younger.

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Sarcasm was created to confuse the stupid...

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Farting can actually help reduce high blood pressure and is beneficial to your health.

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Elephants make friends, bury their dead, travel for ‘funerals’, shed tears when they are sad, speak to each other, and show extreme intelligence.

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Sarcasm is the ability to insult stupid people without them realizing it...

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Once you begin to dislike someone, everything they do tends to annoy you.

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Sharks kill an average of 12 people per year, humans kill 11,417 sharks per hour.

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People who talk to themselves are more likely to have a high I.Q.

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If you are buying headphones/speakers, test them with Bohemian Rhapsody. It has the complete set of highs and lows in instruments and vocals.

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It's scientifically proven; being in love makes you a less productive person.

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People who swear a lot tend to be more honest, upfront, and loyal with their friends, partners and family.

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Being sarcastic on a regular basis can add up to three years to your life. Sarcasm is extremely healthy for the mind.

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Dogs love you even if you’re ugly.

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A sunburn is the result of your skin cells committing mass suicide to protect you from their damaged DNA, which can cause cancer.

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Show me your TITS!

T - time
I - interest
T - thoughtfulness
S - syour titties

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The dinosaur noises in Jurassic Park were partly made from recordings of tortoises having sex.

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People with socially awkward personalities tend to be more loyal to their friends and faithful when in a relationship.

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Drinking moderate amounts of alcohol before writing can actually enhance your creativity.

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Crocodiles are fast on their feet, but cannot turn very well. If one is chasing you, run in zig zag lines.

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The word "bae", used by many as a replacement for "baby", is the Danish word for "poop."

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It takes nearly 20 years for a four-year degree to become profitable.

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Men spend almost a year of their lives staring at women, a survey found.

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In 2013, a dad in China hired gamers to kill his son in video games so the son would start looking for a job and get a life.

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bold likes this

When asked what his IQ was, Stephen Hawking replied “I have no idea. People who boast about their IQ are losers”.

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A snail can sleep for three years. Literally living the dream.

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Being continuously sleep-deprived can make you irritable, distracted, unhappy, and fat.

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Children inherit their intelligence from their mothers, according to scientists.

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Laughing for 15 minutes has the same health benefits as getting two extra hours of sleep.

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Intelligent people are found to be more forgetful than those with average intelligence.

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The middle finger originated in Ancient Greece as a symbol for anal intercourse.

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According to a study, wishing someone luck actually makes them do better.

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Eating chocolate while studying helps the brain retain new information easily and is linked to higher test scores.

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Intelligent people are more forgetful than those with average intelligence.

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swatchUSA likes this

Dogs have faithfully lived with humans for over 14,000 years.

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dor1316 likes this

Intelligent people have the ability to enhance the intelligence of those in their social circle.

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Me:
- doesn't eat healthy
- never has 8 hrs sleep
- never works out
- drinks 0.5ml of water a day
- unorganized mess

Also me: why am I sad

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Tigers have been known to seek revenge on those who have wronged them.

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The term "happily ever after" was originally used as "happily until they died."

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You burn more calories sleeping than you do watching TV.

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DieDansken likes this

Lazy people accomplish more. Their laziness actually enables them to find the easiest quickest ways to get things done.

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85% of people have experienced a dream so real that they were not sure if it happened in real life or not.

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According to studies, high-anxiety people are more likely to make bad decisions because they tend to catastrophize uncertain situations.

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People who stay up late tend to be risk-takers.

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Sloppy handwriting by doctors are responsible for over 7,000 deaths every year.

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dor1316 likes this

Scientists concluded that the chicken came first not the egg, because the protein which makes egg shells is only produced by hens.

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dor1316 likes this

Your body is actually designed to get 4 hours of sleep twice per day instead of 8 hours once.

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Cats can remember love and kindness shown to them, and return it in the future.

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We learn how to laugh before we learn how to talk.

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Breakups are hard to deal with because the body and mind goes through withdrawal, like drug addiction, we become addicted to love.

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You have a second brain in your gut, called the Enteric Nervous System. This is where the term 'gut feeling' comes from.

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Your entire brain is used when you listen to music. It's one of the few activities that does this.

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dor1316 likes this

According to a study, children tend to grow up to like the same sort of music that their parents enjoyed when they were young.

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dor1316 likes this

Adult cats don't actually meow to each other. Instead, they meow in attempt to communicate with humans.

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I deleted Facebook cause I was tired of seeing everyone getting engaged/married and having babies. About to delete Instagram cause I’m tired of seeing people hotter than me. Never gunna delete twitter cause we all miserable here

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I feel like potatoes really don't get enough recognition for their versatility.

Breakfast? Hash browns.

Fast food? Fries.

Fancy dinner? Baked potato.

Holidays? Mashed potato.

Snack? Chips.

Party time? Vodka.

There's a potato for every occasion.

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dor1316 likes this

Giving up alcohol for just one month can improve liver function, decrease blood pressure, and reduce the risk of liver disease and diabetes.

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Mentally talking to yourself during tasks is actually a good way to keep yourself focused.

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Home Alone is the highest grossing comedy film of all time.

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Jack Daniels ran away from home at the age of 6 and learned to make whiskey from a Lutheran minister.

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Coca-Cola says only two people alive know the Coca-Cola 'recipe', and they aren't allowed to travel on the same plane in case it crashes.

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Hakuna Matata is a Swahili phrase that literally translates to "There are no worries."

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The "Pinky Promise" originally indicated that the person who breaks the promise must cut off their pinky finger.

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Studies show that acting confidently is the surest key to success. If you fake it, you will make it.

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There is no single food that provides all the nutrients that humans need, except for breast milk.

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Fasting for 16 hours will reset your body’s natural sleep/wake cycle and is considered an effective way to overcome jetlag.

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Some people feel uncomfortable when the TV volume is not divisible by 2.

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dor1316 likes this

Left-handed people tend to have more emotional and behavioural problems than right-handed people.

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The people who laugh more are able to tolerate pain better, both physically and emotionally.

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dor1316 likes this

Do I want a beer?
(a) Yes
(b) a
(c) b

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People with socially awkward personalities tend to be more loyal to their friends and more faithful when in a relationship.

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dor1316 likes this

Alcohol is not the answer.

Alcohol is the question, yes is the answer.

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Dogs experience a chemical explosion in their brain when they see a human holding a treat for them.

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Sir Isaac Newton died a virgin.

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Video games have been proven to be a more effective method of overcoming depression in teens than seeing a councillor.

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When. You. Read. Stuff. Like. This. The. Voice. In. Your. Head. Takes. Pauses.

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When. You. Read. Stuff. Like. This. The. Voice. In. Your. Head. Takes. Pauses.

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misterlab, eulekauzig, juliettebravo and swatchUSA like this

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If you drink one glass of water with every alcoholic beverage, you can be drunk without a hangover.

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Hundreds of years ago, humans would go to sleep early, wake up in the middle of the night to perform tasks, then go back to a “second sleep".

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Telling the truth when tempted to lie can significantly improve your health.

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dor1316 likes this

Scientists say the brain purposely forgets certain memories in order to avoid information overload, and emotional hangovers.

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dor1316 likes this

The man who invented pop-up ads has apologized to the world for creating one of the Internet's most hated forms of advertising.

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Bruce Lee was so fast that they actually had to slow the film down so you could see his moves.

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jmb likes this

Cursing when in pain releases Enkephalin. This raises your pain tolerance causing you to hurt less.

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Hangry; which is a combination of hungry and angry, is an actual word.

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Bob Marley was buried with his Les Paul guitar, a bible, and some weed.

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According to a study, children are less likely to trust ugly people.

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jmb likes this

Singing when tensed helps you avoid anxiety and depression.

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dor1316 likes this

Drinking alcohol doesn't actually kill brain cells.

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Sharks kill an average of 12 people per year. Humans kill 11,417 sharks per hour.

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dor1316 likes this

Vodka won't break your heart

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Psychologists examined Internet trolls and found that the majority of them are narcissistic, psychopathic and/or sadistic.

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DieDansken, dor1316 and jmb like this

Chocolate ice cream can reduce and relieve mental stress.

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swatchUSA likes this

Caffeine is bad for you, fat is bad for you, sugar is bad for you. But don't worry, because worrying is bad for you too.

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locupleto, AnneLo, MyM and jmb like this

The plural term for "nieces and nephews" is "niblings."

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First woman on the Moon:

"Houston, we have a problem."
What?
"Never mind"
What's the problem?
"Nothing"
Please tell us?
"I'm fine..."

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Will Smith's first name is Willard, not William.

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Having a large amount of hair on your body is linked to having higher intelligence.

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The U.S. Army uses 1.5 billion rounds of ammunition a year; Call of Duty players use 1.5 billion rounds every 17 hours.

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Strange but true: Twins can have different fathers.

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Sarcasm can improve your IQ.

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dor1316 likes this

Sarcasm has been proven to make you smarter and more creative.

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dor1316 likes this

Honey is the only natural food that is made without destroying any kind of life..

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springfire likes this

If an ant was the same size as us, it would be twice as fast as a Lamborghini.

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jmb and springfire like this

Male elephants will sometimes use their penis as a 5th leg to support their weight.

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jmb likes this