UsualMan's Posts - Boldomatic

Dangerous people are not always obviously cruel.

#Long, #John, #Silver

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Librarians don't just help you find information. We help you know what to do with it once you have it.

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When I look at what actually happens when I use AI well, it's never a technique I picked up from somewhere.

It's knowing what I want and being able to say it.

Or not knowing yet, and being willing to stay in that uncertainty long enough to figure it out through conversation.

It's being able to notice when something went wrong and tracing back to why.

Holding a model of my own thinking and the AI's interpretation at the same time, and feeling when they don't line up.

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reposted by Ziya

Confidence comes from evidence.

And every small promise you keep is evidence.

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“The amount of good things in your life depends on your ability to notice them.”

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A recording of a concert can be copied infinitely; the concert itself cannot. What audiences respond to is not just the music but the human being on stage: the physicality, risk, visible effort, and electricity that comes from being part of an unrepeatable event.

medium.com

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“I share
these because
I enjoyed making them.”

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I have come to the simple conclusion that I would much rather be a nobody and feel peaceful and connected to life than be a somebody and feel anxious and separate.

andrewmurphy.gumroad.com

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Inspiration or found beauty doesn't wait for our schedule to clear. It shows up when it shows up and knocks on your door. You pause or you miss it.

This coming week, if you have space for it, try to notice the knock. The found beauty.

substack.com

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I take photos because they motivate me to go out and explore the world almost every day, and to look more closely at what I see. I am now far more aware of the details around me than I ever was before - not just when I'm taking pictures, but always.

substack.com

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If a gorgeous photo is taken in a forest but no one sees it, is it really a photo of a gorgeous forest?

substack.com

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reposted by FightClub

When you read, your brain's visual system recognizes letter shapes and transforms them into words.

Language networks map those words to meanings stored in memory.

Attention systems keep you focused on the narrative thread while memory systems integrate new information with existing knowledge.

Multiple brain regions work together in coordinated activity.

bigthinkbooks.substack.com

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Our nervous systems work the same way. Repeated exposure to the things we fear - in doses we can survive - recalibrates our threat response over time simply because we have actual evidence now, filed somewhere below conscious thought, that we survived it.

open.substack.com

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Also, include reference books, sprawling biographies, or philosophy collections that you may never read cover-to-cover, but will reach for when you need a new perspective.

medium.com

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Your library should contain as much of what you do not know as your financial means and floor space allow.

Focus on topics that spark your curiosity.

medium.com

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reposted by FightClub

Mindfulness is teaching ourselves to pay attention to our own internal dialogue and then learning how to both tune it to be more helpful and to tone it down (or up for the good things that we ought to appreciate!) when necessary.

open.substack.com

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Right.

Next you'll tell me there's no one at the door with knock knock jokes.

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I never knew a man could tell so many lies
He had a different story for every set of eyes
How can he remember who he's talking to?
'Cause I know it ain't me, and hope it isn't you.

#Ambulance, #Blues

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reposted by FightClub

They say you're supposed to write what you know.

But I mostly write what I need to remember.

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reposted by FightClub

Theres a version of software engineering competence that looks like mastery but is actually something more fragile: the ability to keep a system running without fully understanding it.

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reposted by FightClub

$The math says the barista needs to be paid 11 percent under their perceived “living wage”, they must have at least 6.6 college credits in “art” , odd number of piercings in at least 6 different body parts, coloured or dreadlock hair. This person makes the perfect espresso.$

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Waiting for my moment

"There's this guy who lives on my street who walks his dog every day,"

"I don't know what he does, but he has all the things you're describing."

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That's what creativity is: it's not sitting in an empty room staring at the ceiling and hoping the muse will deliver an idea.

It's taking existing things and gluing them together to make new things out of them.

www.dannysessays.com

#Bricolage, @krisargent

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My brain is designed to put things into categories. It just makes it so much easier to process the insane amount of information that I'm constantly being bombarded by.

Life is easier when I can say, “This is the thing I like and agree with. This is a thing I reject.”

But the sieves and filters built into my brain are not always precise.

And my crude categorization can end up blocking opportunity.

www.dannysessays.com

#Bricolage

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I'm pretty good at trivia contests. I have yet to earn any money on Jeopardy, but all this random information in my brain has been enormously helpful to me in many other ways.

I know it's helped me come up with ideas because I have a large inventory of so many ways of doing things.

I can combine them in fresh combinations to solve any greater problem. They call it bricolage.

www.dannysessays.com

#Bricolage

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This is where the privilege objection comes in, because of course nobody can drop everything to start living the life of their dreams. Happily, you don't need to. “Steering your course” just means making the choices that are actually available to you, in the real situation in which you find yourself, with less deference to the inner judge, and more focus on what makes you feel alive. As soon as you start living that way, your'e already “doing what you want” in an important sense - no matter how long it takes for your external circumstances to change.

oliverburkeman.com

#TTMS

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When I talk about reorienting your life toward what you want, I should be clear that I don't just mean finding a couple of hours a week for fun, before heading back to the grindstone. What matters - and what helped me immeasurably - is to start viewing everything, your work and relationships and life as a whole, through the lens of how you truly want all that to be, then steering your course as appropriate.

oliverburkeman.com

#TTMS

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I wanted to share a poem, that seems to have been written by someone called Dayna Craig simply called the Narcissists Prayer. It sometimes makes me smile.

That didn't happen.
And if it did, it wasn't that bad.
And if it was, that's not a big deal.
And if it is, that's not my fault.
And if it was, I didn't mean it.
And if I did, you deserved it.

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“Emotion only lasts in our bodies for about 90 seconds. After that, the physical reaction dissipates, UNLESS our cognitive brain kicks in and starts connecting our anger with past events.”

thomas-oppong.medium.com

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If you try to enjoy
Robert Johnson:
It can feel distant or thin

If you just let it sit:
It starts to feel like Atmosphere rather than Performance

Almost like:
Not Music to Listen to, but Music to
Be Around

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Songs are not objects.

They're templates for experience.

Each version asks:

Do you want it intimate?
Do you want it communal?
Do you want it polished?
Do you want it raw?

You're choosing the experience format, not the “best version.”

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Hello!

Towards the end of Matthew Kressel's novella The Rainseekers, his narrator makes an astute observation:

"those who find others dull aren't digging deep enough.
Inside every person is a story worth telling, and we have only ourselves to blame if we don't perk up our ears and listen."

#Transfer, #Orbit

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Confidence isn't something you either have or don't have.

It's something you build through small moments.

Resetting after a mistake.
Refocusing your attention.
Returning to the next play.

Every time you handle a difficult moment, your brain collects evidence.

Evidence that says:

“I can handle this.”

And that's how confidence grows.

www.peakflow.info

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Nobody lies on their deathbed wishing they'd answered more emails.
You know this. Everyone knows this. And yet.
Here we are.

The problem isn't that you don't know what matters most. I'm pretty sure you do.

The problem is that you're remarkably talented at building your life around the things that don't matter that much in the end.

You know better - you just don't prioritize it.

thebestleadershipcompany.com

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If there's a quiet theme running through modern memory science, it's that memory isn't primarily about hoarding facts. It's about building useful mental models of the world.

The broader implication is simpler and more encouraging. Sustained engagement in any detail-rich, mentally demanding hobby may help build the kind of knowledge scaffolding that supports stronger learning and memory over time.

https

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The group nodded, and I kept quiet.

I said nothing, and stood there turning over everything that felt wrong with the discussion happening in front of me.

Not because I didn't have anything to say, but because I had too much. My brain started doing it's thing, not toward a clever comeback, but into a tangle of social calculations.

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Don't just read, re-read.

A lot of people read, not enough people re-read.

Don't just read books, re-read books.

There's a great line the Stoics loved that we never step in the same river twice.

The books don't change,
but you do.

ryanholiday.medium.com

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reposted by FightClub

Be still, heart.
The world is loud enough.
Lay down the name you carry.
Lay down the story you defend.
Words fall like dust.
Silence remains.
Become small again.
Become like a child.
Make a desert in your heart.
Wide. Empty. Waiting.
And in the quiet
God will whisper.

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I itemize the early warning signs of my waning.

I'm, sleeping more guilt-free, reading,
Feeding my head for no purpose other than my own pleasure,
Relaxing without fear I'm missing anything, without fear of being left behind.
Exhaustion obliterates my workaholism.

Exhaustion may be how ending begins, naturally prioritizing what's urgent over what's expendable.

oldster.substack.com

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I pledge to observe my precious elders my involuntary mentors in this unpredictable improvisation called aging - comparing, evaluating, observing, inquiring without asking aloud:

“I wonder how I'll be?”

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B = { x People | x has a beard }

Which means:

B is the set of all people x such that x has a beard.

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A beard is simply a proof that time is passing locally.

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The meaning of a beard is its use on the face.

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People with beards are people, but with beards.

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A philosopher is just a person without answers with questions.

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Stop saying cryptic things and then walking off!

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Krisargent

Clear thought can light the path,
but too much fire burns the ground beneath.
Balance is the walk.

CurrentNobody

A jester who knows they jest
is wiser than the crowd that laughs.
Stay light, but stay aware.

Presence isn't the end of thought
just its steady ground.

Please follow this with discretion.
UsualMan

@krisargent, @CurrentNobody

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I remember a quote from Nehru, the first Prime Minister of India:

“Life is like a game of cards. The hand you are dealt is determinism; the way you play it is free will.”

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reposted by FightClub

I feel we have two threads in our lives.

One is the life we wish for.

Another is the life that happens.

These threads are intertwined, no matter how much we try to avoid the challenges.

medium.com

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My capacity for love is larger now.

Loss will do that.

So will time.

When there is less future, the present becomes more important.

And that's where love thrives.

#Grandparents, #Paradox

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Investing is a positive-sum game.

You buy into a company that creates value, hires people, and pays dividends. The pie gets bigger and everyone can win.

Prediction Markets are a zero-sum game.

For you to win $100, someone else must lose $100. There is no underlying growth and no long-term compounding. It is just a transfer of wealth.
But what makes this even more insidious is that people with access to insider information might have an unfair advantage.

substack.com

#Graham, #Stephan

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Next time they play it,
don't listen for meaning.

Listen for:

consonant attacks

rhythmic grouping

breath placement

where the groove shifts

You might start hearing architecture instead of emptiness.

#K-pop, #Demon, #Hunters, #Granddaughters

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Take the small-probability case. Let's say I tell you there is a chance that something happens 1 in 1,000 times, and a chance some other event happens 1 in 5,000 times. These are actually quite different one happens five times as often as the other but for most of us, they feel similar. They are both small, but they aren't zero. That “1”: it's why we play the lottery! Even a chance of 1 in 80 million you're telling me theres a chance! This internal psychology causes us to process even really unlikely events (like the lottery) as similarly likely to an event that happens, say, 1 in 1,000 times.

parentdata.org

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Alright, so this is the basic idea:

One actionable takeaway.

7 words or less.

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Panic Apprehension
Enthusiasm Frustration
Indignation Elation
Nostalgia Curiosity
Cynicism Determination
Gratitude Vulnerability
Melancholy Triumph
Contentment Resignation
Apathy Overwhelm
Wonder Joy
Satisfaction Serenity

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Psychologically, you need to achieve goals frequently to stay motivated. Without visible closures, the mind turns against you.

#Ray, #Bradbury

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reposted by Ziya

"Trick" the Device (Automatic Detection)

Fitbit automatically records sleep when it detects no movement for about an hour.

Stay Still: Laying down, resting, or watching a movie without moving for over an hour will often cause the device to record that time as sleep.

Nap Detection: The device automatically records naps that are at least one hour long.

@CurrentNobody

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The uncomfortable truth (non-partisan)

At very high government levels:
Accountability often happens through politics, not courts.

That's true across parties and decades.

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One line. One sentence.

What did I think about today?

Where did I go?

What happened?

How am I doing?

ryanholiday.medium.com

#Journal, #Asks

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You are:

a Body,
a Personality,
a History,
a Meaning-Maker,
AND
an Awareness Process

NOT

Either/Or.

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* People like me who are interested in wit but not sufficiently motivated to undertake a PhD in the damn stuff.
* An intelligent person wanting an intelligent diversion.
* Anyone with a sense of humour.
* Thoughtful people.
people who love words, people who host dinner parties.
* Curious and idle people.
* Lovers of language.
* People who liked to learn what others think about things.
* People who like to see something a bit out of left field that is clever, thoughtful and amusing.

open.substack.com

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reposted by FightClub

Stop asking what you want to
do with your life.

Your life is made of days.

What are you going to do
with your day?

The morning practice,
the weekly ritual, the consistent time slot - these are not small things.

They are the entire thing.

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The question "what do you want to do with your life" is paralyzing because the unit is wrong. Days are actionable. Lives are retrospective summaries of days you already lived.

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Its more powerful to change feelings in order to change thoughts than the other way round

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The one thing they don't tell you about parenting is that it makes you re-examine your own childhood.

Your memories of the highs and lows of those developmental years are triggered at the oddest times, especially when you see your child going through their own growing pains.

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This is not necessarily a Bad Thing.

But it is a Thing.

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I don't need every night
to Mean Something.

I let it Be Something.

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I don't want to be alone.

I want to be inhabited - even when I'm with the people I Love.

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Why don't I make a sound when I laugh?

I have a very obnoxious laugh that disturbs people

- even my parents.

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Science can deal with isolated things, create new technologies from their application.

But it cannot deal with multidimensional variables. So we have tech advances and social regression.

“the whole is too much. There is no way by which thought can hold the whole, because thought only abstracts; it limits and defines.”

And often enough it doesn't even do that very well, I'd add.

substack.com

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Most people are surprised how much can fit into a small box.

A few lines can hold a whole day, a whole argument, a whole regret.

The trick isn't adding more.

It's deciding which door stays closed so one window can stay open.

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AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
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#28x18

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This is the 2:14 report.

Currently experiencing a band of tightness across the chest,
scattered future clouds,
light gusts of unease.

Visibility is actually good in the room.

No immediate threats on the ground.

Systems expected to shift

#Emotional, #Weather, #Report, #Tom, #Waits

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I plan to spend a lot of time reading, thinking, writing, playing with the dog, taking long walks, with the dog, drinking coffee on the couch, and listening to jazz.

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Navigating the Passages Between Books and Being

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Tiny edits.

Big Experiential Differences.

#Life, #Hacking

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Ideas are now the scarce resource. Not code, not design, not writing.

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With an aging mother on the other side of the country, I travel longer distances often.

Perhaps it's that space in between, when I'm up in the air, that prompts my musings about transitions in life, and, when we find a place to call home, what that looks like.

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Some Coffee With Your Tea?

You pour some coffee into your tea, and then pour some of that back into your coffee.

Is there more coffee in your tea or more tea in your coffee

open.substack.com

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Some of us read for pleasure, yes.

But some of us read to stay alert.

To feel less mechanical.

To stay human.

Books demand attention.

They force you to slow down and live inside someone elses world.

medium.com

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Chili Palmer, the cool loan shark from Get Shorty, isn't typically "scared," but he acknowledges fear, famously telling Karen Flores,

"Well, I was scared then, but I'm not scared now. How long do you want me to be scared?".

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On the night of the concert, I didn't really want to go.

It is something that happens to me every time I schedule an outing these days.

I schedule it in a fit of enthusiasm for getting out of the house and into the stream of life, and then when the day arrives, I regret I did.

I go anyway because I spent the money on it and, when it is all over, I am happy that I went. I repeat this pattern every time,

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My wife is asking me where she knows that actor from because I am the human sitting across from her with whom she's shared a majority of her entertainment-watching experiences, and because were watching a show together.

We are not strangers sitting side-by-side in a movie theater, but two people sharing a life.

A life made up of TV shows and trips and errands and obligations and celebrations, and dinner that will be ready in 10 minutes. Nine minutes. Eight minutes

open.substack.com

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I don't chase solutions;

I create the conditions in which they sometimes appear.

#Wordle

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Gratitude helps you return to what's real, what's working.

And that especially now is what we need.

Presence.

substack.com

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The mind will always offer you a list - what you haven't done, what you should be doing, what you're behind on, what might go wrong.

If you let that list run the show, it will flatten your capacity to stay steady.

Gratitude interrupts the spiral. It doesn't erase reality, it widens it.

It reminds you that more than one thing is true at once.

That even in a hard season, there are points of support. Places where your life is holding.

substack.com

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After a decades of taking photos more and less, I mostly regret taking too few.

I adore the accumulation of photographic memory that they provide me, they become an indispensable aid for remembering, a way to access specific months or years.

Some events can only be understood in the moment, but others can only really be understood long afterwards.

There is a great pleasure to understanding these things in retrospect, a kind of long distance pleasure.

#SimonSarris

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Consider knowledge and contemplation to be senses, like sight or touch.

They register feelings, they play upon us, they are sensual, they contribute to pleasure.

Like the other senses, it must be possible to develop them.

substack.com

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Repeat after me

“I'll enjoy the idea of this now, and let the evening decide whether it becomes real.”

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This sentence will delete itself from memory once read

#Anti-memetics

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The first week of a new year always carries a certain magic.

Not because everything suddenly changes but because we start to feel like maybe it could.

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However, no single position is healthy for very long, uninterrupted periods.

The key takeaway for any sedentary activity is to take regular breaks to stand up and move around.

#Reading, #Lazyboy, #Bed

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I like to listen to podcasts and read books to get new ideas.

And I appreciate people who express their ideas well and clearly.

But I now realize that true wisdom is found in life, in the ability to endure, and in the ways of the people who lived before us.

I no longer equate the ability to express an idea well with the experience of what has shaped that idea in a persons life.

medium.com

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When someone sounds too certain, my internal BS detector goes off immediately.

And if that's the standard I use when reading others, I feel obliged to apply it to myself.

write2lead.systeme.io

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"Humility is not thinking less of yourself.

It's thinking of yourself less."

C.S. Lewis

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reposted by FightClub

Yesterday I kept thinking it was Today
So does that mean it's Today or Tomorrow

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Yesterday, I kept thinking it was Monday or Tuesday.

And today, I had to double-check that it is Monday.

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Sensitivity

It's not a Diagnosis.

It's a Description.

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reposted by FightClub

Ending the Year
On whatever is the
Opposite of a Bang

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Before anyone hops in the comments to disagree, I'd just like to preemptively say that... you are wrong.

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What to Expect when You have no Expectations

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How do
I organize my life so that I can read?

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reposted by FightClub

My brain works in loops, not lines. I overthink everything. When I started using AI to think out loud, something shifted. It showed me my own patterns.

The overthinking didn't disappear, but it stopped being the problem and started being the raw material.

substack.com

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reposted by FightClub

Write a letter, by hand, on paper.

Send it through the mail.

The letter will take days to arrive and you won't be able to unsend it or edit it or track whether it was opened.

medium.com

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reposted by FightClub

A thin desire is one that doesn't.

A thick desire is one that changes you in the process of pursuing it.

medium.com

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The first cracks came through literature. In sixth grade I read Macbeth and Julius Caesar and saw for the first time that characters could contain contradiction. That a man could be noble and murderous. That motive was not simple. Brutus loved Rome and killed for it. Macbeth saw the dagger and reached anyway. Shakespeare did not resolve the grey. He rendered it. That was the first departure from the binary world I had been handed.

medium.com

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Is it bad you use your phone in your dreams?

It has better features.

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Is there anything worse than a hypocrite?

Yes, since not all hypocrites are created equal.

Some hypocrites are indeed poisonous to society and our relationships.

Others are merely well-intentioned people trying their best and coming up short.

Understanding when to tolerate hypocrisy and when to call it out can help us sidestep this particular trap.

Michael Hallsworth

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What happens when systems run out of options?

Bodies are systems.
Consciousness is a process.

Dying is a sequence, not a moment.

#Morbid, #Thoughts

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The reality is that what we think we know about our past often says far more about our present.

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I think a retirement with all accomplishment and no rest will grind you down.

But one without challenge of some sort will lead to atrophy.

I'm still seeking to find the right balance in that myself.

Krisargent and CurrentNobody like this

One rule I always try to follow whenever I'm playing a game, no matter if it's new or old, is that I will always play to win while also realizing that winning doesn't matter.

The point of getting together and playing games is to socialize and have fun.

The best way to keep things fun is for people to not take things too seriously and to not be overly competetive.

juliettebravo, CurrentNobody and Krisargent like this

If you're in a wonderful relationship, you stand in awe of your partner.

How giving they are, how hard they work, how much they embody the sacred feminine or masculine.

@krisargent

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Something to say to assholes:

You're winning at a game that
I feel no need to play.

substack.com

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Man is his own worst enemy for the precise reason that he tries so hard to understand himself and the entire universe.

When he could simply make the decision to be happy, productive, and generous.

Technology, progress, and reason dont help with that in fact they impede it. You can “reason” yourself right out of a great life.

substack.com

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Whether they want to admit it or not, politics is everywhere and is in constant dialogue with the culture and society in which we live.

It's in the sports we play, the music we hear, the films we watch. Our favorite shows have political messages not only in the dialogue, but in the choices made behind the sceneswhose money funds it, the crews background and experience, who is chosen to act, and how everyone is treated along the way.

open.substack.com

#Contrarian

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The idea: When you're doing nothing, a large network of brain regions (the default mode network, DMN) turns on, not off.

The DMN supports remembering the past, imagining the future, and simulating other people's minds basically running lots of mental what if scenarios.

You probably spend about 40% of your waking time dropping into this cognitive mode, hence default

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A Wise Old Karate Sensei

(Soft, slow, serious)
“You seek speed.
But speed is not the secret.
Clarity is the secret.
Once you know the strike must land
it already has.”

Sledge, Krisargent, lonelyscribe and CurrentNobody like this

(Irritable, precise, barely holding it together)
“I would love to act on my ideas quickly, but my brain has instituted a bureaucratic process.
Form 27-B must be stamped by the Department of Overthinking,
then countersigned by the Ministry of Mild Panic,
and only then may I attempt to get anything done.
By which point I've forgotten the idea entirely.
Efficiency! Hah! My mind is run by civil servants in wet socks.”

#Inertia

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If you nourish a habit of going outside where you live and seeing what there is to see, hearing what there is to hear, and smelling what there is to smell, you will start to become mindful, without really trying.

#Jason, #McBride, #Medium

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You may, in fact, find yourself to be the smartest person in the room from time to time, but the best way to capitalize on that is to let everyone else figure that out on their own.

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reposted by FightClub

But theres a trap. And it's tautological. The problem with thinking like a pundit is that you end up thinking like a pundit.

You end up caring more about having opinions about politics rather than actively engaging in politics, which is to say, actively engaging with other people, trying to build the world that you think we deserve.

BoldDelight and CurrentNobody like this

When did giving abstract advice about what a political party should or shouldn't do become an acceptable discursive trope?

open.substack.com

#Garret, #Bucks

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Why do we keep accumulating information?

Why do we keep looking for more?

And even more interestingly, are we actually doing something with all the knowledge we vacuum, or just stuffing facts to avoid taking action?

@IVAYLO_DURMONSKI

BoldDelight, Krisargent, juliettebravo and CurrentNobody like this

Based on my observation and personal experience, we rarely do anything with the intelligence we digest.

We just consume to
1) avoid being alone with our own thoughts and
2) keep ourselves convinced that we need more knowledge before acting.

@IVAYLO_DURMONSKI

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Perhaps it isn't a question of choosing between moments and things.

Perhaps it's about evidence that remains to remind us that we were here at all.

When the stories falter and the details fade, sometimes it's the smallest, most ordinary keepsakes that whisper:

Yes. You lived this. You were there.

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reposted by FightClub and lonelyscribe

We like to say that experiences shape us, but objects anchor us.

They give form to the invisible, weight to the ephemeral.

Without them, I could just as easily say I visited Machu Picchu or the Great Wall of China who's to know?

Krisargent and CurrentNobody like this

$I've been all over the world. I've stood in places that postcards can't quite capture. But without photo evidence, what have I got to show for it? The memories blur, fade, fracture into fragments that rearrange themselves each time I tell the story. I start to wonder if I'm remembering what happened or just repeating a story I've told so many times that its hardened into truth.$

Krisargent and CurrentNobody like this

They say Experiences outlast Possessions.

That the moments matter more.

But I'm not so sure anymore.

Krisargent and CurrentNobody like this

"You took care of Mum when I didn't. I'm grateful. Her choices are her own, and I'm just noticing how much your effort meant."

BoldDelight, Krisargent and CurrentNobody like this

"I expressed gratitude because I care. Whether he responds or not is his choice. My words are valid even if they land on silence. I don't need his applause to know I acted rightly."

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Gratitude delivered.

Return policy: none.

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Krisargent, CurrentNobody and juliettebravo like this

BoldDelight, Krisargent and CurrentNobody like this

Thats on you, not him. You didn't do anything wrong but you also don't get to hand emotional currency to someone who doesn't trade in it, then feel shortchanged.

Krisargent and CurrentNobody like this

“I'm coming to realization, that even in quiet existence, human life holds depth, meaning, and the potential for connection.

Judgments often blind us to this.

True presence listening, touching, witnessing is the gift we can offer, and it reveals the dignity and heroism inherent in every life, even in its final chapters.”

Krisargent, juliettebravo and CurrentNobody like this

Life's meaning is not only in what we do but in how we endure, accept, and remain present.

Krisargent, juliettebravo and CurrentNobody like this

There's a sacred jolt of recognition when a writer gives language to what you hadn't yet found words for.

Krisargent, juliettebravo and CurrentNobody like this

reposted by FightClub

It's not 'Seeing is believing'

It's 'Believing is seeing'.

Krisargent, juliettebravo, janem803 and CurrentNobody like this

For years, I thought constraints were something to overcome, to master, to beat. Now, I think honouring them is the only path to peace that exists.

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“Isn't there something I could do, some rule I could follow, such that if I obediently followed the rule, I wouldn't have to show up for life, in all it's uncertainty and riskiness and intensity, in quite such a full-on way? So I could sort of hang back, hide out, and take things a bit easier instead?”

#Oliver, #Burkeman

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I've always wanted to do something easy that would feed my ego and have a bunch of people shouting,

"HEY, not bad. You're clever!"

perellano, AndSheCame, lonelyscribe, CurrentNobody and Krisargent like this

the “one thing to do”, in my opinion, is to forget techniques and practices for now, and instead just pick something you care about a creative task, a relationship, a leisure activity, anything and actually address yourself to it, however stumblingly, for at least a few minutes, today.

Oliver Burkeman

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building a meaningful life is much less about discovering the right set of practices or habits than it is about cultivating the willingness to step up moment after moment and just do more of the things that matter, for the projects and people and causes you care about most.

Oliver Burkeman

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The authenticity panic isn't about protecting art.

It's about protecting revenue streams, and the legal architecture that allows culture to be owned.

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Tonight, before bed, pick one thing you've been overthinking. Tomorrow morning, give yourself 90 seconds to decide - and then just do it.

Notice how much lighter you feel carrying that action versus carrying the weight of indecision.

The truth is, overthinking is just fear dressed up as preparation.

But it doesn't prepare you - it just tires you.

#NTS

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Here's the thing: Energy doesn't come from Thinking.

It comes from doing.

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Action creates energy.

Overthinking only spends it.

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But I learned something: the real fatigue came not from mistakes, but from waiting.

There's even a cognitive science term for this: Pre-decisional cognitive load.

The longer you hold a decision open, the more energy it leaks.

Acting closes the loop and frees the energy.

CurrentNobody likes this

When you genuinely enjoy something, practice doesn't feel like a burden. It becomes automatic.

If you have spare time, its one of the first things that comes to your mind.

You find yourself seeking it out. That's the moment the loop starts.

medium.com

#NTS

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reposted by FightClub

We've mistaken the spiritual path for an engineering problem. But life's not a faulty machine, it's a meandering river of chaos and luck. The more you grasp, the faster it slips through your hands.

#NTS

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We meditate not to meet our minds but to anesthetize them.

We journal not to see the truth but to curate it.

Even the act of surrender becomes an item on a to-do list.

#NTS

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the moment we strive to understand, we've already begun to distort.

#NTS

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Forget mindfulness apps and mantras,
real awareness begins when you stop forcing life
to make sense.

#NTS

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Choosing a life where many hours of the day are dedicated to reading and thinking and writing leads to a naturally slower cadence, I think.

At least, compared to how my life was before.

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A city boy, in northern Ontario woods, away from the next human habitation.

I startled a weasel who startled me, and we exchanged a long glance.

I had come across bears, moose, wolves so I figured this was my chance to scare an wild animal.

I stomped my foot at him, and he attacked and I turned tail and ran for my life.

Krisargent, Sledge and CurrentNobody like this

The important thing to remember is this,

“We do not have to do all the right things, at all times.

But we do have to do some right things most of the time.”

medium.com

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She was so still.

And now, I think I understand that stillness. It isn't boredom. It's peace. The kind that comes when ambition and comparison have burned themselves out, and life no longer needs to prove itself

johnpweiss.medium.com

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You will accumulate more knowledge and more books as you grow older, and the growing number of unread books on the shelves will look at you menacingly. Indeed, the more you know, the larger the rows of unread books. Let us call this collection of unread books an antilibrary.

www.themarginalian.org

#Umberto, #Eco, #Nassim, #Nicholas, #Taleb, #BLACK, #SWAN

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reposted by FightClub

Tonight, the plates are still shifting out there, deep below everything.

I can't stop them.

I can't even see them.

But I've decided this: no matter how the ground might tremble, I'll keep making sandwiches, planting seeds, and drawing new worlds where the cracks appear.

Because the earth may move - but so do we. And sometimes, we move toward something better.

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It extends to everything: TV, music, news, the industry we work in we've normalised giving our attention almost exclusively to people who already have obscene amounts of influence. And we amplify them by watching.

The power law in action: a few rise to the top, and we keep them there by never looking away.

www.densediscovery.com

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I watched the Champions League final the other day when it struck me: I'm basically watching millionaires all the time.

The players are millionaires, the coaches are millionaires, the club owners are millionaires. It's surreal.

endler.dev

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Time moves differently when you're stuck.

Days bleed into weeks, months disappear like smoke, and you look up one day, wondering where it all went.

I learned that feeling isn't actually about time. It's when I'm disconnected.

I'm disconnected from myself, from doing the things worth doing, and from the present moment.

www.untetheredmind.co

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To-do list

Stop trying to understand,
Stop analyzing
See ourselves as we see nature
View our impressions as we view a field

That is true Wisdom

.

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Consciousness may be the instrument the universe invented to look inside itself, but it is a flawed instrument that keeps inverting the lens - the price of consciousness is self-consciousness.

#Fernando, #Pessoa

Krisargent and CurrentNobody like this

The Pattern That Connects

I remember when software still had corners to get lost in. Everyone else opened an app and saw exactly what it was for. I'd open the same one and wonder what else it could do.

I wasn't chasing efficiency. I was chasing utility - the handmade kind, the kind that came from bending a tool until it revealed a second purpose.

It wasn't about doing things faster; it was about discovering what else a thing could become if you stayed curious long enough.

#Utility

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The idea is that by over-focusing on our own needs, advancements and personal projects, we have lost sight of the “Other.”

That is, we spend too much time thinking about ourselves and not enough cultivating love for, understanding of, and relationships with other people.

In other words “friendliness,” but it might be better characterized as openness to the world.

seanvoisen.com

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When I sit and reflect on my own “ideal day,” for instance, I find that what I seek most is a feeling of lasting, deep flow state.

It's not that my ideal day is devoid of work, but rather that I want it to be characterized by an experience of time as long and deep and meaningful.

seanvoisen.com

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You can find Rightness, even if you only have shitty options.
Let's be honest, sometimes the choices are all bad.

And yet, there is one that will be Right for you.

katieseaver.com

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I think what were all seeking is a feeling of Rightness.

(Yes, I capitalized “Rightness.” It's that important.)

Rightness is the feeling when you think about a choice and something in your chest relaxes. When your breathing gets easier.

When you can imagine yourself in that future and it feels like... yes.

Like calm and spaciousness and coming home.

katieseaver.com

#right, #decisions

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“If you create things for the public, you will get yelled at by dumbasses.

Indeed, this is the primary experience of being the sort of writer that I am.
If you make a joke, they won't get it.
If you use sarcasm, they won't detect it.
If you exaggerate for effect, you will be taken literally, and if you try to be understated, you will be accused of a contemptible lack of urgency.
If you make a reference, it will not be understood; if you choose one topic, they will wonder why you didnt choose another; if you try to focus on one thing, they will ask why you didn't focus on something else.”
Hamilton Nolan

#Hamilton, #Nolan

Krisargent and CurrentNobody like this

So, it seems to me, two thoughts can co-exist:

1) I like this writing,

and

2) I don't like the person who wrote it.

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reposted by lonelyscribe

It's been often said, here and other places, one of the beautiful things about art is the way that our practice can allow us to lift out of our normal, habitual selves and into someone better/more interesting.

Making a good work of art does not involve moral perfection, it would seem.

It requires artistic power and that power may appear in someone imperfect, even abhorrent.

georgesaunders.substack.com

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It's interesting the way that the world these days seems to make us feel that we need to have an opinion on everything, even when having a certain opinion may not change anything we do, or anything about the way the world responds.

We seem to be losing the ability or desire to just be silent on certain questions. (Silent and sad; silent and interested; silent and alert.)

georgesaunders.substack.com

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Theatre is really a large act of listening a director must, or at least should, listen to the text, the way actors listen to it and to each other and to the director, and the way the audience listen to the whole performance.

#Jon, #Fosse

Krisargent and CurrentNobody like this

The spoken language is often a monological communication of a message that something should be like this or like that, or it is a rhetorical communication of a message with persuasion or conviction.

The literary language is never like that it doesn't inform, it is meaning rather than communication, it has it's own existence.

#Jon, #Fosse, #Nobel, #lecture

Krisargent and CurrentNobody like this

Go do something You hate!

Being
Miserable
Builds
Character.

#Calvin, #Hobbes

BoldDelight, Krisargent and CurrentNobody like this

You probably remember the last thing that went wrong today. But can you remember something that went right?

That's because your brain is designed to hunt for problems. It's a feature that helps us survive, but can also make us miserable.

juliettebravo, janem803, Krisargent and CurrentNobody like this

All of life is a mental game, and we create our own happiness or sadness every day, whether we are aware of it or not. Wouldn't it be great to be 20% happier in old age? I'll take it.

We can do it by accepting old age, not as a loss, but rather as a realization of a new reality and a step toward learning to live with it.

medium.com

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Everything we call real is made of things that cannot be regarded as real.

Niels Bohr

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The purpose of “How are you today?” is not apparent from the content of the words.

The intent is revealed by the use we make of it. Linguists call it a phatic expression.

It offers no intrinsically valuable information but signals a willingness to observe conventional expectations of sociability.

It's like when we mutter “Testing 1,2,3” into a microphone; not to impart knowledge, but to check a connection.

keithrwilson.medium.com

AndSheCame and CurrentNobody like this

Common practice pushes for the seniors to get rid of their clutter so their children don't have to.

I'm 68 years old now and I think to myself, I really don't care what my kids do with my stuff, right now the "stuff" hold memories that I look at, I see and smile.

juliettebravo and CurrentNobody like this

What should you do when good decisions fail?

When well-intentioned plans conflict with higher priorities, we must act.

We must make a course correction before we drown.

johnpweiss.medium.com

CurrentNobody likes this

what makes someone unique is the time we have spent together.

shaant.medium.com

CurrentNobody likes this

One time, while walking home, I had a friend ask me, “Why do you keep going back to that book? Don't you already know what happens?”

I smiled and said, “Yes, but the book knows more about me than I know about it.”

shaant.medium.com

BoldDelight and CurrentNobody like this

READING ALONG
I always pack an unrealistic amount of reading material, ideally including a novel totally unrelated to work. It's fascinating how, randomly and accidentally, whatever Im reading informs what Im noticing, and vice versa.

#Rob, #Walker

BoldDelight, juliettebravo and CurrentNobody like this

$The role of self-regulation isn't to solve the problem of anxiety, but to enable you to engage in your life \ act in the world, which will increase your sense of capacity to act according to your values, which will further help you to move forward despite anxiety, and through it, which is the actual solution to the problem of anxiety.$

CurrentNobody and Krisargent like this

The Automation Paradox:
the better
the machines get, the more we struggle when they fail.

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So here's to the common reader.

To strong opinions loosely held rather than loose opinions strongly held.

#Neil, #Perkin

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All this is to say that intellectual curiosity is going to be the differentiator of the future. Staff that want to find the right answer rather than just an answer that is given to them by an AI. Who are willing to change their view when new evidence emerges rather than have an AI rationalise how their existing view is the right one. Who question assumptions rather than rely on manufactured certainty.

#Neil, #Perkin

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This relies on intrinsic motivation. Yes, we need to read widely and be willing to explore but there are some deliberate daily practices that we can also use. Like purposefully choosing texts which are one degree removed from what were usually interested in or comfortable with. Reading the sources that the sources cite to understand the origins of ideas.

#Neil, #Perkin

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Virginia Woolfe's concept of the common reader is someone that, rather than reading as a symbol of intellectual prowess, reads to experience life more fully, is receptive and open to the unfamiliar, and draws from wide-ranging sources to create a personal framework of understanding.

CurrentNobody, Krisargent and Ziya like this

We've gone from one generation where scarcity determined a narrow and deep focus to the next generation where an almost infinite abundance results in a wide but potentially shallow focus.

#Only, #dead, #fish, #Neil, #Perkin

CurrentNobody and Krisargent like this

I just found out I'm part of the Problem.

That's not great, but it does feel good to be a part of Something.

CurrentNobody, perellano, Krisargent, lonelyscribe and AndSheCame like this

When we introspect, we ask "why." Why did I make that decision? Why do I feel this way? Why can't I get this right?

But "why" doesn't actually help.

According to many studies, we don't have access to most of our unconscious thoughts, feelings, and motives. So when we ask why, our brain just makes something up. And because it came from inside our own head, we believe it completely.

CurrentNobody, Krisargent and AndSheCame like this

That Feeling You Get When You Realize You're Being Watched

The truth is we are all modeling something all the time. Whether we realize it or not.

CurrentNobody, Krisargent and AndSheCame like this

CurrentNobody, Krisargent and lonelyscribe like this

The meme is a command; the poem is a question.

CurrentNobody and Krisargent like this

You say the words before you know them.

You sing them before you believe them.

You understand them only when your life finally fits their shape.

#Hymns

CurrentNobody, Krisargent and AndSheCame like this

Poetry is simply
the aesthetic recognition and appreciation in
a particularly organised context of the way sound and meaning relate to one another.

CurrentNobody and Krisargent like this

Analog living" isn't about rejecting technology outright or pretending to be authentic; it's about being present and grounded in the real world enough to cultivate depth - interests, tastes, skills - that aren't entirely shaped by algorithms or passive consumption.

BoldDelight and Krisargent like this

Don't get me wrong - that man can chit-chat/yap. He makes friends along the way while he travels, which I have the pleasure of hearing about, but that level of solitude is extraordinary.

He is endlessly curious about people, reading them like he reads books. He knows how to ask the right questions and when. He paints full portraits for me in our correspondence of the kind of people he's come across.

#3rd, #person

Krisargent likes this

Instilling fear is much easier than instilling hope.

Choose to have hope in situations where fear is normal.

@BoldDelight

BoldDelight, Krisargent and Sledge like this

reposted by BoldDelight

I'm just going to share a general rule of game play that I think all board gamers know to be truth.

If you have to ask, "Who's turn is it?", the odds are it's your turn.

I find this to be true 99% of the time in the games we play.

Krisargent and Sledge like this

“The secret of being miserable is to have leisure to bother about whether you
are happy or not.”

George Bernard Shaw

Sledge, Krisargent and AndSheCame like this

“A bee is never as busy as it seems; it's just that it can't buzz any slower.”

Kin Hubbard

Sledge, Krisargent and AndSheCame like this

reposted by FightClub

1931 Frank Capra film Platinum Blonde:

“Well sir, to be a putterer, one's mind must be at ease.

A person with a problem could never be a putterer.

For instance, sir, a fish can putter in water, but not on land, because hed be out of place. An eagle can putter around the rugged mountain tops, but not in a cage, because he'd be restless, and unhappy.”

Krisargent and juliettebravo like this

does anyone know what happened to Schrödingers dog?

Sledge and Krisargent like this

The problem with being lazy is you can't stop and rest.

Sledge, AndSheCame, perellano and Krisargent like this

True passion is an elusive thing.
For most people, it may not even be a thing.

Competence however gives you a high.

Pursuing competence is perhaps the most assured path to generating value for yourself.

However, this advice ignores an aspect of living that I think the word passion was trying to percolate in us - interestingness.

open.substack.com

Krisargent likes this

When you stop reacting to every slight or criticism, people see you very differently.

The next time someone bothers you, ask yourself:

"Is this really about me, or is this about them and their own problems?"

Krisargent, BoldDelight, juliettebravo and lonelyscribe like this

We humans don't have a fixed essence like objects and animals.

Instead, we are free to choose how we live.

We don't just respond to our past or present circumstances we create meaning.

But this kind of freedom often doesn't feel easy.

It comes with responsibility for our choices.

Krisargent, juliettebravo and petegutz2 like this

In Being and Nothingness, Sartre distinguishes being-in-itself (être-en-soi) from being-for-itself (être-pour-soi), where the former refers to modes of existence that are not characterized by consciousness - like inanimate objects, plants, and animals - and the latter implies intentionality, awareness, and freedom.

Krisargent and petegutz2 like this

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Everything's evidence to you.

What is existence but the absorption of and reaction to the data that the universe presents?

You can either grasp these truths, or you can misinterpret them to your constant and considerable agitation.

#Elementary, #S03:24

Sledge and Krisargent like this

I just now realizing that I've been stuck in my head for my whole life - that this is not a figure of speech, but a real description of how your subjectivity is very different when you're uncomfortable with emotion, and living behind the sensory filter created by a rigid self-concept.

Sledge and Krisargent like this

It can be easy to change your personality when it's organized around achieving a goal, and you realize your previous strategy isn't going to work.

open.substack.com

#Server, #Game

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I think about my responsibility as a human.

Is it like a job I will get fired from if I don't meet the agreed-upon requirements, essentially the things
I signed up for when I was born, or at least when I became more of an adult?

www.substack.com

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I understand why someone doesn't want to be associated with the thoughts they have, and I guess some people can ignore them well enough and just carry on about their lives.

Good for those people, I bet it's great.

But those thoughts I don't want are harder to ignore than the ones I do want.

open.substack.com

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The world is a smorgasbord of free ideas. Work out what the ideas are. Make your own versions. Inevitably, you will fail to replicate them exactly, but with enough repetition, these “mistakes” will turn into your style.

open.substack.com

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reposted by FightClub

There are two ways to get an idea.

1. Steal it. From someone else or from nature. This is easy, but the idea will not be original.

2. Think long and hard. Make lists. Think more. Make a false start. Have an epiphany and write the idea down. A precious, unique idea that only you could have. This is pretty hard work, and sadly, the ideas won't be original either; weeks later, you will realise that you unconsciously stole them.

open.substack.com

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if you treat each interaction as an experimental exercise, you might just find a way to enjoy it, and in the meantime, everyone will think you're a wonderfully interesting person.

abitdodgy.uk

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The trick, my budding artists and aging narcissists, is to understand that it's not all about you.

When you're speaking to someone you actually want to engage with, you have to turn off that part of your brain that is trying to create parallels between the story being told and your own experiences.

You have to actually listen.

It takes practice.

abitdodgy.uk

@BoldDelight

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reposted by BoldDelight and FightClub

The difference between your garden variety sociopath and your average narcissist artist is that sociopaths typically have excellent social skills but lack empathy. They're consummate liars and unabashed extroverts.

On the other hand, artists tend to be introverted and often extremely empathetic; they're just indifferent to their environment when in a flow state.

abitdodgy.uk

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"Forgive and Forget.
And If You Can't,
Pick
One.”

#Rabbi, #Brian, #Zachary, #Mayer

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The capacity to destroy
is within us all.

Some feel empowered by envy, greed or fear to rationalize acts of destruction.

Others counter the darkness of destruction through love, creativity
and compassion.

When you aren't analysing your behaviour and trying to be a specific type of person, and when you lean into enjoying yourself, things improve dramatically.

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“Every day is a perfect day.

I am the luckiest person alive.

The unmeasurable, incalculable complications of family and property and animals and career are all luxurious complications:

I am lucky to have them and they enrich my life, even as they cause me to grind my molars into shards.”

Photographer Sally Mann

open.substack.com

I am not alone.

We are all legendary storytellers - with a rapt audience of one.

One person who just can't get enough of our voice, who is hanging on our every word.

jkg.co

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The pattern of an experience can be conferred through a story, as if one has had the experience itself.

jkg.co

Every word that you speak

- even if it's only part of your internal dialogue

- has a specific energy and a specific vibration.

And the stories that we tell are like little collections of energy and vibration.

jkg.co

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It's exhausting to play a game that can't be won.

And it's energizing to play a game where playing is winning.

You don't need to think up clever, complex plans in advance.

You don't need to know what to say in advance.

Just be there and relax.

The ideas will come to you naturally when your head isn't spinning.

Because you've stopped forcing new thoughts into it.

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When the headlines scream, we can remember: our attention is the most powerful currency we own. Let's spend it wisely. Let's step out of the newsroom of the mind, return to what is actually here - and cultivate love, compassion, joy, and equanimity until they shape our lives.

#Dalia, #Lama's, #Cat

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When we feel overwhelmed by the news, the first question to ask is simple: how much of our attention does this deserve? If we're in the Polish military or an FBI agent on the ground in Utah, close attention may be demanded. Most of us, though, are spectators.

#Dalai, #Lama's, #Cat

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People who go to bed early simply sleep through many of the times when other people smoke, drink, and eat unhealthy foods most often.

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You can burn your mouth on hot pizza, continue eating it anyway, and think to yourself, “It's fine.”

#Brad, #Montague

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You can keep a drawer full of mysterious cords you are emotionally unable to throw away, despite not knowing what a single one belongs to.

#Brad, #Montague

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The problem is that when we go into conversation with someone, we each have certain assumptions about what the other speaker knows.

A conversation especially in it's early stages - involves a kind of mutual weighing up.

We test and probe to see how much the other person knows and how much we should assume.

Sometimes, we get this wrong.

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A world where lifesaving vaccines are rejected not because they don't work, but because accepting that they work would require accepting that the people who made them might know something worth knowing.

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I set down the mug and watched the coffee grow cold, understanding that something fundamental had shifted while I wasn't paying attention.

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Does a web professional really have 20 years of experience
or five years
of experience, repeated four times?

frankchimero.com

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A word is nothing but a sound until we agree it is something else.

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The idea is that cursing triggers a fight or flight response, and our bodies release adrenaline that gets us through the situation.

It makes complete sense to me.

When I stub my toe in the dark, the guttural that comes out is not a thoughtful choice.

It is a biological reaction, or a verbal uppercut to the pain.

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It seems it was never about the actual meaning.

It was about the collective agreement or invisible boundary a community creates around certain sounds.

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what puts the sin in sound and letters, and what allows two words and groups of letters to represent the same idea, but rather than horrible, is just a polite use of words?

What I might call browsing books are, I think, an essential part of the reader's library.

Pick them up when you need inspiration; put them back down once you've found it.

Return to them again and again.

Who knows, someday you might find youve read them in their entirety.

#Emily, #Chenoweth

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$Of the many, many books in my to-read pile, only a small fraction will ever be read; that's avidity vs. mortality for you. But a decent chunk of the stack will get thumbed through, consumed in bursts, and/or perused out of order, because the stack always contains essay collections, anthologies, published diaries and correspondences, and the selected prose of whomever.$