Shelly103's Posts

I'm an animal in bed.

More specifically a koala. I can sleep up to 22 hours a day.

Reposted from avant-garde

avant-garde likes this

Don't judge a person for drinking and swearing, judge the quiet sober ones.
Those fuckers are up to something.

Reposted from filhab

HAKUNA
MA-VODKA

IT MEANS NO MEMORIES FOR THE REST OF YOUR NIGHT ..

Reposted from juneocallagh

Home is
where the
fridge is

Reposted from anonymous

haddock likes this

loving someone who doesn't love you is like watching a star you know you can't reach.

but you need to keep on trying, cause stars can fall, right?

Reposted from aussi-girl90

If I had to rate my stress,
I'd say I'm pretty close to 2007 Britney

Reposted from avant-garde

avant-garde likes this

I have been taken hostage by my bed today...

Please make no attempts to save me.

Reposted from Delitonik

If life was a piece of cake
we would all
be fat

Reposted from anonymous

haddock likes this

ProTip:

Treat every problem like your dog would,
if you can't eat or fuck it,
piss on it and walk away

#freeadvice

Reposted from ErikSmit

how to make me happy:

- pizza
- dogs
- more pizza
- more dogs

Reposted from avant-garde

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I'm in my bed. You're in your bed. One of us is in the wrong place.

Reposted from anonymous

haddock likes this

Anything you say or do can and will be HELD against you in a bedroom of law

Reposted from kj55

I followed my heart and it led me into the fridge.

Reposted from raineymarieee

haddock likes this

I wish I could trade my heart for another liver so I could drink more and care less.

Reposted from stussen

haddock likes this

I'm not where I want to be, but thank god I'm not where I used to be.

Reposted from smurfing-it

my computer and I are best friends

we both love cookies

Reposted from anonymous

Can I have you for breakfast in bed today?

Reposted from hirondelle

BY THE WAY,
I'M WEARING
THE SMILE
YOU GAVE ME.

Reposted from NukeSkywalker

NukeSkywalker likes this

Go away responsibilities, nobody likes you.

Reposted from satan

today sucks...

i'm going back to bed.

Reposted from jaybyrd

jaybyrd likes this

BORN
TO
SHOP

FORCED
TO
WORK

Reposted from avant-garde

avant-garde likes this

BORN
TO
SHOP

FORCED
TO
WORK

Reposted from avant-garde

avant-garde likes this

I don't mind getting lost, its just that its always at a bad time...

Reposted from anonymous

haddock likes this

Would like a nice evening with my boyfriend watching a movie and cuddling on the couch!

Any recomendations for a good boyfriend?

Reposted from Jamille

Jamille likes this

I saw a man yelling at the beach: Help! Shark! Help!

I laughed, I knew the shark wasn't going to help him...

Reposted from BJcore

If you don't have anything nice to say,
come sit by me and we can make fun of people together.

Reposted from avant-garde

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Women.
We're automatically correct. Right?

Reposted from JodieT

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I like mysteries so I decided to become one.

Reposted from skyblue99

when people try to hurt my feelings.

haha.

i have none.

Reposted from jaybyrd

when people try to hurt my feelings.

haha.

i have none.

Reposted from jaybyrd

jaybyrd likes this

tonights forecast:

99% chance of wine

Reposted from avant-garde

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I wish I lost weight as fast as I lose motivation.

Reposted from anonymous

TOO BAD THERE ISN'T A VACCINE AGAINST STUPIDITY.

Reposted from delight_ecards

I'm at that awkward age where half my friends are in love and having babies and the other half are too drunk to even find their phones.

Reposted from Duncanville

Everything I like is expensive, illegal, or won't text me back.

Reposted from anonymous

I do yoga to relieve stress. Just kidding, I drink wine in yoga pants.

Reposted from anonymous

I wish I lost weight as fast as I lose motivation.

Reposted from anonymous

Brains are awesome.

I wish everybody had one.

Reposted from anonymous

Do regular dogs see police dogs and think "oh shit it's the cops"?

Reposted from anonymous

I tried to be normal once.

Worst two minutes of my life.

Reposted from xfiex

I'll have a café mocha vodka valium latte to go please.

Reposted from Boldomatic

my heart says: summer

my body says: no

Reposted from avant-garde

avant-garde likes this

Do you believe in miracles?

Me neither.

I believe in risks, faith and tequila.

Reposted from MissB

404: Life not found

Reposted from anonymous

You know something bad is about to happen when someone says

"Hold my beer and watch this."

Reposted from anonymous

Only trust people who like big butts.

They cannot lie.

Reposted from anonymous

I like people the way I like my tea.

I hate tea.

Reposted from PennyLame

Can't get out of bed.

Send help....,
or waffles.

Just send waffles.

Reposted from anonymous

if i had 1$ for everytime i got called beautiful i'd have 1$

thanks mom

Reposted from avant-garde

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I swear if my
memory was any worse, I could plan my own surprise party.

Reposted from est24601

I swear if my
memory was any worse, I could plan my own surprise party.

Reposted from est24601

I'M ON THAT NEW DIET WHERE YOU EAT EVERYTHING AND HOPE FOR A BIG MIRACLE.

Reposted from cococaro

My biography will be titled "Be Yourself And Other Ways To Stay Single."

Reposted from MissB

don't give up on your dreams.

keep sleeping.

Reposted from Sonndich

when
nothing
goes
right,

go
left.

Reposted from haekaru

others have sex in the kitchen, I eat in bed

Reposted from anonymous

If I wanted to kill myself I would climb your ego and jump to your IQ.

Reposted from 27thAvenue

I'm not actually funny. I'm just mean and people think I'm joking.

Reposted from hemko

I will be posting telepathically today..
so if you think of something funny, that was me •

Reposted from Lirpae..

Lirpae.. likes this

I have 3 sides:

1. The quiet side
2. The fun and crazy side
3. The side you never want to see

Reposted from anonymous

I almost had an "I need a guy moment" but then I was able to get the vodka open.

Reposted from anonymous