perellano's Posts

How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.

- Winnie Pooh -

lonelyscribe, ZeepBella, BoldDelight and JokeNews like this

reposted by FightClub

You know what was even more useful than the first telephone?

The second telephone.

SlickMemes, ZeepBella, boldino, stargater, TimBuktu, Ziya, AndSheCame, CurrentNobody, MyM and DominicLomax like this

I have a mental illness that makes me think that people will change their minds if I present the correct arguments with the appropriate facts and data.

SlickMemes, Krisargent, DominicLomax, CurrentNobody, MyM, AndSheCame and stargater like this

I have to eat cake because my body is not producing it, so I have to eat a lot of it.

SlickMemes, ZeepBella, Sledge, CurrentNobody, Ziya and Krisargent like this

CurrentNobody and Krisargent like this

AI will not replace your job if you don't have a job

#wiseman

Ziya, Krisargent and boldino like this

Askhole (n.)

A person who constantly asks for your advice, yet always does the opposite of what you told them.

Krisargent, AndSheCame, Ziya, boldino and eulekauzig like this

Internet Explorer

RIP June 15 2022

He was a good tool to download other browsers.

Krisargent, eulekauzig, boldino and AndSheCame like this

Love is giving someone the power to destroy you,

and trusting they won't use it.

eulekauzig, Ziya and CurrentNobody like this

You shall not fuck yourself

Krisargent, Ziya, eulekauzig, boldino and CurrentNobody like this

It's easy to know. It's hard to do.

Every.
Single.
F*ckn.
Day.

#life

Luca.Cheers, juliettebravo, Krisargent, eulekauzig, AndSheCame, TimBuktu and CurrentNobody like this

Life is unfair, but at least it's consistently unfair to all of us.

#darkhumor

Krisargent, AndSheCame and CurrentNobody like this

I love Fridays. Everyone's happy, hopeful, and smilling.

Perfect day to tell them they're fired.

#darkhumor

eulekauzig, AndSheCame, CurrentNobody, Krisargent and petegutz2 like this

Me: But how do I stop the voices?

Therapist: Those are people. They are allowed to talk.

#trulala

BoldDelight, eulekauzig, Ziya, boldino and Krisargent like this

Imagine reading a book with no way to turn the page back. How carefully would you read it?

That's life.

#life

TimBuktu, BoldDelight, MyM, CurrentNobody, boldino, AndSheCame, Ziya and eulekauzig like this

Saying "have a nice day" to someone sounds friendly.

But saying "enjoy your next 24 hours"
sounds threatening.

BoldDelight, AndSheCame, buzzielizzy, MyM, CurrentNobody and Krisargent like this

To anger an honest person, lie to them.

To anger a narcissist, tell them the truth.

MyM, Ziya, BoldDelight, eulekauzig, boldino, CurrentNobody, Krisargent and AndSheCame like this

reposted by BoldDelight and FightClub

Just two more stock market crashes until Greenland can buy the USA.

AndSheCame, juliettebravo, boldino, CurrentNobody and Authlander like this

$Math is hard 15 + 15 is thirty but 16 + 16 is thirty too$

Krisargent, MyM, CurrentNobody, AndSheCame and Ziya like this

A donkey carrying a pile of holy books is still a donkey.

• Ikigai

buzzielizzy, sheeza, boldino, CurrentNobody and Fionacatherine like this

To be honest, I was gonna keep my opinion to myself, but then I remembered I don't respect you.

#honest

Cherished, CurrentNobody, MyM and AndSheCame like this

Attention is not just a passive act but a declaration of what we find meaningful.

The quality of our lives is shaped not by what we see, but by what we choose to notice.

#attention

CurrentNobody likes this

I asked my German friend if he knew the square root of 81.

He said no.

Krisargent, Ziya, TimBuktu and CurrentNobody like this

Man learns to lie

when he is punished for his honesty

AndSheCame, BoldDelight, MyM, CurrentNobody, Krisargent and boldino like this

reposted by BoldDelight

Honest people die alone; liars get fan clubs.

MyM, Fionacatherine and CurrentNobody like this

Next year christmas will be 25/25/25

#trust-issues

CurrentNobody and Fionacatherine like this

The biggest milestone in a relationship isn't the first kiss - it's the first fart.

TimBuktu and boldino like this

Told my wife I wanted to be cremated.

She made me an appointment for next Tuesday.

eulekauzig, Ziya, AndSheCame, CurrentNobody and DominicLomax like this

Somewhere, a tree is working hard to produce oxygen for you. I think you owe it an apology.

AndSheCame, TimBuktu, Ziya, Sledge, petegutz2, CurrentNobody, Krisargent and Fionacatherine like this

Thank you for nothing

Ziya, petegutz2 and CurrentNobody like this

A wise man once told his wife:

Nothing, because he was a wise man.

#wiseman

Sledge, eulekauzig, CurrentNobody, boldino and buzzielizzy like this

Ditch the bullshit and do what you love

#happiness

AndSheCame, Krisargent, Authlander and CurrentNobody like this

When I was young, I was very poor. After years of struggle, I'm no longer young.

#big-words

JMBis, Fionacatherine, locupleto, eulekauzig, Ziya, AndSheCame, Krisargent and CurrentNobody like this

To save cost, many scenes from Star Trek were not filmed in space but on Earth

#funfacts

buzzielizzy, JumpHead, Krisargent, JMBis, AndSheCame, streetmedic, Sledge, CurrentNobody and schnudelhupf like this

Remember, money cant buy happiness, but it can buy pizza, and thats basically the same thing, right?

Krisargent and CurrentNobody like this

Space could be filled with vampires, but we would never know, because telescopes use mirrors.

buzzielizzy, Fionacatherine, Krisargent, AndSheCame, eulekauzig, bold, TimBuktu, Ziya and CurrentNobody like this

reposted by DarkBlack

Show me all you have

Nah, that's not what I mean

petegutz2, yoda, ResultRange, Krisargent, buzzielizzy, OnlineGuy, Fionacatherine, JulieanneS, MarcellaA, EmilyHeller and 6 others like this

reposted by Boldomatic

You're a winner and I'm a loser

Doesn't matter at all

buzzielizzy, dannyzee, sudeshnarocks, Krisargent, Selinzoe, CurrentNobody, DominicLomax and Fionacatherine like this

PC:
press any key to continue

Me:
presses power button

Krisargent likes this

It's officially

"wear a sweater in the morning and regret it in the afternoon"

weather

#fall

Krisargent, DominicLomax, harlequina, JMBis, petegutz2, UserOne, CurrentNobody, AndSheCame and Fionacatherine like this

Everything in the universe is either a chicken or not a chicken

#fact

Krisargent, locupleto, AndSheCame, CurrentNobody, Ziya and JMBis like this

It is impossible for someone to lie unless he thinks he knows the truth. Producing bullshit requires no such conviction.

~ H. Frankfurt

#bullshit

Krisargent, Selinzoe, JMBis and Ziya like this

Yesterday I found a book titled:

'How to solve 50% of your problems.'

So I bought two

#legit

SlickMemes, Krisargent, buzzielizzy, BG_r, hmiyazaki, gilang, HoneyNecessary, schnudelhupf, Ziya, petegutz2 and 5 others like this

cogito
ergo
sum

I don't think so

#karen, #ironic, #trulala

Krisargent, BoldDelight, Sledge, locupleto, JMBis and CurrentNobody like this

To make a fiction real

Just creat a made up narrativ

People love stories

Krisargent, buzzielizzy, Fionacatherine, CurrentNobody, MyM, Ziya, TimBuktu and JMBis like this

HE SAID HE MISSED ME, NORMALLY THAT WOULD BE GOOD,

BUT HE'S RELOADING!

Reposted from buzzielizzy

Krisargent, CurrentNobody, buzzielizzy and Ziya like this

If you like what you're doing. You'll never have to work a day in your life.

Ziya likes this

2000
Let's save the world

2010
Let's save the climate

2022
Give me my stuff, now! Don't care anymore.

ErikSmit, Ziya, Fionacatherine and Sledge like this

Imagine all the people

#peace

juliettebravo, UserOne, BoldDelight, TimBuktu, CurrentNobody, Fionacatherine, eulekauzig and sirskitten1 like this

reposted by eulekauzig and MissInk

Think for yourself

otherwise somebody else will do it for you

Juli7, CurrentNobody, Sirskitten and JMBis like this

Once all of this is over

I'm gonna do a reverse quarantine

and not go home for ten weeks

#covid

buzzielizzy, Fionacatherine, AndSheCame, eulekauzig, TimBuktu and JMBis like this

I got my Covid test today, it says 50.

What does that mean?

Also, my IQ test came back positive.

#trulala

harlequina, Stig300, buzzielizzy, Sherry89, JMBis, eulekauzig, Ziya, BoldDelight, Fionacatherine, CurrentNobody and 2 others like this

reposted by DarkBlack

All flights from John Lennon Airport are cancelled.

Imagine all the people

sirskitten1, buzzielizzy, CurrentNobody, juliettebravo, TimBuktu and Ziya like this

Our planet Earth has a limited Karen capacity

#karen

sirskitten1, Sledge, Ziya, TimBuktu, JMBis and Fionacatherine like this

So many rules but no one follows

sirskitten1, buzzielizzy, eulekauzig, bold, UserOne, DominicLomax, AndSheCame, Sledge, Ziya and JMBis like this

Balboa is actually the creator of the giraffe. It came to be after he uppercut a horse.

#notfunnybutfunny

sirskitten1 and CurrentNobody like this

Don't let anyone ruin your day.

Be a man.

Ruin it yourself.

sirskitten1, hmiyazaki, Ziya, JMBis, Fionacatherine, TimBuktu, CurrentNobody, DominicLomax and Sledge like this

reposted by CurrentNobody

Facebook and Instagram are down

get a life

sirskitten1, OnlineGuy, Stig300, JulieanneS, MarcellaA, EmilyHeller, Fionacatherine, Haruto, schnudelhupf, Boldomatic and 10 others like this

reposted by Boldomatic

Just wanna have peace in mind.

Is that too much what I'm asking for?

sirskitten1 and CurrentNobody like this

I just wanna say that I don't like you for no reasons.

sirskitten1, BoldDelight, CurrentNobody and Ziya like this

Look at me and close your eyes.

That's me in the dark.

sirskitten1, UserOne, BoldDelight, guggigirl, AndSheCame, Ziya, Fionacatherine and JMBis like this

Knock Knock'

Who's there?

Covid'

Covid who?

Covid19'

UserOne, schnudelhupf, Ziya, Fionacatherine and CurrentNobody like this

Fart always smells bad if it's not your own

UserOne, CurrentNobody, Fionacatherine and JMBis like this

reposted by CurrentNobody

Let the internet alone if you don't know how it works

UserOne, AndSheCame, CurrentNobody, Ziya and Fionacatherine like this

reposted by UserOne

The world is not waiting for you.

The universe is not waiting for you.

What are you waiting for?

Krisargent, sirskitten1, eulekauzig, UserOne, hmiyazaki, AndSheCame, CurrentNobody, BoldDelight, Ziya, lonelyscribe and 2 others like this

reposted by UserOne, Trek and rachelfox

If there's no cake, it's just a meeting

#cake

sirskitten1, CurrentNobody, BoldDelight, JMBis, Ziya, guggigirl, Fionacatherine and UserOne like this

If your left hand is cut then your right hand is left.

#notfunny

sirskitten1, hmiyazaki, TimBuktu, Fionacatherine, CurrentNobody, AndSheCame, JMBis, busylizzie1, petegutz2, guggigirl and 1 other like this

We wanted flying cars, instead we got Twitter.

#peterthiel

sirskitten1, hmiyazaki, eulekauzig, UserOne, petegutz2, PullAFinger, BoldDelight, TimBuktu, JMBis, Ziya and 2 others like this

reposted by CurrentNobody, uglyteen, hmiyazaki and CurrentNobody

Die schwierigste
Turnübung ist immer noch, sich selbst auf den Arm zu nehmen.

Sherry89, JMBis, Juli7, TimBuktu, llvvzz, eulekauzig, schnudelhupf and BoldDelight like this

It's quite crazy that it used to be normal on your birthday to blow on a cake and then give it to guests.

#truthbomb, #painfulTruths, #covid

sirskitten1, BoldDelight, Juli7, JMBis, CurrentNobody, Fionacatherine, AndSheCame and juliettebravo like this

Every time you clean something, you just make something else dirty.

#entropy

TimBuktu, Fionacatherine, reg1907, eulekauzig and Ziya like this

If you don't have bad habits, you probably don't have a personality either

#habit

sirskitten1, BG_r, AndSheCame, Ziya, XhrOmZ77 and UserOne like this

reposted by sirskitten1

Gold digging is more likely to succeed than a quest for love

#truthbomb, #painfulTruths

sirskitten1 and CurrentNobody like this

The stupid is strong in you

#yoda

sirskitten1, eulekauzig, JMBis, BG_r, myownboss, HeartOnFire, guggigirl, TimBuktu, JodieT, AndSheCame and 3 others like this

The adjective for metall is metallic, but not so for iron, which is ironic

#ironic

sirskitten1, shankarrkn, Ziya, busylizzie1, locupleto, UserOne, BoldDelight, Stig300, TimBuktu, roosterbear and 5 others like this

reposted by CurrentNobody

So many books, so little time.

#sapereaude

sirskitten1, HeartOnFire, rozmarin, BoldDelight, Fionacatherine, Ziya and CurrentNobody like this

Vaccines are part of a secret government plan to stop people from getting sick

#vaccine

Textli, PublicScratch, Stig300, HeartOnFire, Fionacatherine, DominicLomax, AndSheCame, eulekauzig, CurrentNobody and SlickMemes like this

They say money can't buy happiness.
I say give me $100,000,000 and watch me FUCKING smile.

Reposted from SlickMemes

CurrentNobody, sudeshnarocks, busylizzie, SlickMemes, petegutz2, aana and AndSheCame like this

If you press on the gas and brake pedals at the same time

your car will take a screenshot!

PublicScratch, BoldDelight, TimBuktu, ZeepBella and Ziya like this

Stupid people always say "No"

Are you stupid?

Ziya, AndSheCame, CurrentNobody, sudeshnarocks, eulekauzig and SlickMemes like this

EVERY DISASTERMOVIE STARTS WITH:

THE GOVERNMENT IGNORING A SCIENTIST

Reposted from TimBuktu

CurrentNobody, sudeshnarocks, BoldDelight, schnudelhupf, TimBuktu, eulekauzig and AndSheCame like this

"IT'S A BOY!"
I SHOUTED WITH TEARS ROLLING DOWN MY FACE
"ITS A BOY I DON'T BELIEVE IT"!

IT WAS AT THAT MOMENT I DECIDED I'D NEVER VISIT THAILAND AGAIN ?

Reposted from busylizzie

BoldDelight, TimBuktu and CurrentNobody like this

Friends are like boobs
some are great
some are small
some are real
some are wrong

Reposted from TimBuktu

TimBuktu, CurrentNobody and Ziya like this

AREN'T YOU SUPPOSED TO CALL A DOCTOR IF YOUR ELECTION LASTS THIS LONG?

Reposted from busylizzie

AndSheCame, busylizzie and Ziya like this

Trust me,
when I woke up this morning,
I had no plans to be awesome, but shit happens.

Reposted from SlickMemes

SlickMemes and schnudelhupf like this

I just asked my self if I'm crazy;
We said no.

#crazy

traumadid, swatchUSA, Fionacatherine, jasminealv, petegutz2, Luca.Cheers, shankarrkn, HeartOnFire, busylizzie, locupleto and 3 others like this

reposted by monsieur and traumadid

Due to the sick and twisted nature of people in this group I am not leaving.

#boldomatic

Krisargent, schnudelhupf, buzzielizzy, locupleto, Ziya, shankarrkn, harlequina, Stig300, Fionacatherine, eulekauzig and 11 others like this

reposted by TimBuktu, SlickMemes, buzzielizzy and schnudelhupf

All guys hate the words DON'T and
STOP unless
they're put
together

Reposted from Fionacatherine

BoldDelight, AndSheCame, sudeshnarocks, busylizzie, CurrentNobody, UserOne and Ziya like this

Don't cling to a mistake just because you spent a lot of time making it

#legit

shankarrkn, HeartOnFire, BoldDelight, roosterbear, UserOne, Fionacatherine, CurrentNobody, AndSheCame and Ziya like this

Do you remember before the internet, that people thought the cause of stupidity was the lack of access to information?

Yeah, it wasn't that.

#stupidity

eulekauzig, BoldDelight, HeartOnFire, juliettebravo, SlickMemes, Fionacatherine, CurrentNobody and AndSheCame like this

reposted by BG_r

A fact is information minus emotion. An opinion is information plus experience. Ignorance is an opinion lacking information. And, stupidity is an opinion that ignores a fact.

#legit, #fact

Brosuperior, JMBis, DominicLomax, mad_bad_and..., lonelyscribe, sonybox, BG_r, Franky_91pl, bullitt0, Decipher and 17 others like this

reposted by PublicScratch, karlokoenig, Ziya, UserOne, petegutz2 and lonelyscribe

I don't like you

#truthbomb, #honesty

bold, CurrentNobody, busylizzie and AndSheCame like this

I'm not vegetarian because I love animals

I'm vegetarian because I hate plants

#legit

SlickMemes, Demetrius, CurrentNobody, PublicScratch and Ziya like this

The reason our planet is having so many heat waves is because we have so many thermometers!

If we stop looking at thermometers, we'd have very few days over 25 degrees, if any.

#CoronaPandemie, #sarcasm

MyM, BoldDelight, Fionacatherine, sudeshnarocks, juliettebravo, TimBuktu, AndSheCame, reg1907 and CurrentNobody like this

A wise man proportions his belief to the evidence.

- D. Hume

#WorldHumanistDay

MyM, busylizzie, AndSheCame, timothy21 and CurrentNobody like this

I'm a thinker so make sure all your shit adds up before I start calculating.

Reposted from chrysti

CurrentNobody, sudeshnarocks, BoldDelight, schnudelhupf, eulekauzig and Campo like this

I'm responsible for what I say,

not for what you understand

JMBis, wipkinger, MyM, UserOne, Juli7, AndSheCame, Fionacatherine, CurrentNobody, petegutz2 and busylizzie like this

reposted by CurrentNobody and rachelkisses

I like the kind of people who get excited over the stars at night.

#purposeOfLife

sonybox, TimBuktu, SlickMemes, AndSheCame, HeartOnFire, Ziya, CurrentNobody and Fionacatherine like this

A big thinker with small thoughts

#potus

bold, juliettebravo, timothy21, Ziya, petegutz2, DominicLomax, CurrentNobody and UserOne like this

There are two kinds of people in this world.

Avoid both.

#CoronaPandemie

BoldDelight, hmiyazaki, rad0301, harlequina, eulekauzig, OnlineGuy, DominicLomax, Boldomatic, karlokoenig, Ziya and 13 others like this

reposted by UserOne, Boldomatic and hmiyazaki

Now is not the right time to surround yourself with positive people

#CoronaPandemie, #sarcasm

BoldDelight, Juli7, -Juliane-, busylizzie, OpenWorld, lindaann, shankarrkn, locupleto, AndSheCame, Fionacatherine and 3 others like this

reposted by OpenWorld

STAY AT 127.0.0.1

#CoronaPandemie

shankarrkn, OpenWorld, atheist, swatchUSA, OnlineGuy, busylizzie, Campo, Ziya, eulekauzig, Boldomatic and 5 others like this

reposted by Boldomatic, Juli7 and monsieur

Paris
London
New York

Flawil

#megacities

busylizzie, sudeshnarocks and CurrentNobody like this

Before you marry a person,

you should first make them use a computer with slow internet to see who they really are

#nerdy

HeartOnFire, eulekauzig, SlickMemes, lindaann, Fionacatherine, CurrentNobody, DominicLomax, locupleto, busylizzie, Ziya and 1 other like this

reposted by RealA

You're such a loser. If there was a contest for losers you would be 2nd.

Why I'm not first?

'cause you're a loser!

#sarcasm

BG_r, lindaann, locupleto, TimBuktu, shankarrkn, Fionacatherine and CurrentNobody like this

My girlfriend said that if I don't get off my computer and having some time with her she'll slam my head on the keyboard,
but I think she's jonkinfbfjgbjokinjfirbfjdjfjgjgkgkkkkdjdxjdndanfngzzhelpjxkf

roosterbear, comanzatara, Sherry89, eulekauzig, SlickMemes, AndSheCame, schnudelhupf, locupleto, DominicLomax, MyM and 4 others like this

reposted by eulekauzig

I threw a boomerang a few years ago...

I now live in constant fear.

SlickMemes, Campo, UserOne, bold, TimBuktu, Fionacatherine, AndSheCame, locupleto, Ziya, schnudelhupf and 3 others like this

reposted by CurrentNobody

Is your stomach FLAT?

Me: Yeah but the "L" is silent

shankarrkn, UserOne, sudeshnarocks, AndSheCame, Ziya, CurrentNobody, schnudelhupf, busylizzie and zefrances like this

Don't let anyone tell you you're ugly,

you are but don't let anyone tell you.

AndSheCame, CurrentNobody, zefrances and UserOne like this

Trillions of cells are working for you 24/7 and still you complain "No one cares for me"

#irony, #purposeOfLife

UserOne, bold, zefrances, busylizzie and CurrentNobody like this

reposted by CurrentNobody

Me: Can you grow please?

Hair: Nope.
Muscles: Nope.
Bones: Nope.
Stomach: Sure.

UserOne, guggigirl, busylizzie, Drakonan, JodieT, locupleto, CurrentNobody and sudeshnarocks like this

Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.

~ G. Carlin

Krisargent, lindaann, busylizzie, BG_r, petegutz2, locupleto, eulekauzig, Fionacatherine, UserOne, MyM and 2 others like this

reposted by UserOne, Sledge and CurrentNobody

YESTERDAY I REALLY WANTED A DONER KEBAB.
TODAY I AM EATING A DONER KEBAB.
FOLLOW YOUR DAMN DREAMS.

lindaann, busylizzie, ZeepBella, JodieT, CurrentNobody and NerdWord like this

I'm not a religious person; I would call myself an atheist. I don't have a good story behind it, I'm just reasonable.

~ A. Jeselnik

UserOne, Fionacatherine, busylizzie, locupleto and CurrentNobody like this

All I ask of life is a constant and exaggerated sence of my own importance.

UserOne, lindaann, BG_r, springfire, JodieT, Luca.Cheers, locupleto and Krusa like this

There's too much blood in my caffeine system

BoldDelight, UserOne, springfire, crafty, UsualMan, JodieT, CurrentNobody, Ziya and Krusa like this

He was so narrow-minded he could see through a keyhole with both eyes

UserOne, lindaann, BG_r, ErikSmit, springfire, crafty, JodieT, CurrentNobody, Ziya and Krusa like this

To err is human.

To blame someone else for your mistakes is even more human.

UserOne, springfire, crafty, phuamaxx, Fionacatherine, zefrances, CurrentNobody, Krusa and NerdWord like this

He who laughs last is probably your boss.

UserOne, crafty, phuamaxx, zefrances, CurrentNobody and Krusa like this

It's my job in life to travel all roads, so that some may take the road less travelled, and others the road more travelled, and all have a pleasant day.

~ L. Wall

zefrances and CurrentNobody like this

Brain cells,
hair cells and skin cells - they all die constantly,

but the freaking fat cells seem to have eternal life.

UserOne, crafty, Luca.Cheers, MyM, DominicLomax, CurrentNobody, Ziya and Krusa like this

Childhood is when you idolize Batman.

Adulthood is when you realize the Joker makes more sense.

UserOne, Krusa, ZeepBella, Sunshine123, Juli7, MyM, Ziya, hey.its.mira, CurrentNobody and crafty like this

I feel bad for the kids these days that see a cool toy on TV, but can't order it because their parents have to be over 18 to call.

#sarcasm

Luca.Cheers, Krusa, crafty, Juli7, UserOne, hey.its.mira, NerdWord and JodieT like this

We lived as usual, by ignoring. Ignoring isn't the same as ignorance, you have to work at it.

• The Handmaid's Tale

#deep

UserOne, Krusa, crafty, ZeepBella, kalyani.vasave, Ziya and petegutz2 like this

It seems like people don't actually want democracy anymore, they want a dictator who agrees with them.

UserOne, DominicLomax, Krusa, crafty, zefrances, JodieT, juliettebravo, springfire, EmpressTygress and dor1316 like this

Auto correct can go straight to he'll.

UserOne, crafty, Krusa, jesuschrist, ZeepBella, springfire, hey.its.mira, zefrances, GreatSmile, bold and 2 others like this

There is objective truth out there and it is our duty to find it.

#scienceWorks, #fact

UserOne, Krusa, comanzatara, bold, hey.its.mira, ZeepBella, NerdWord, springfire and crafty like this

YOU MATTER.

Until you multiply yourself times the speed of light squared.

Then you Energy.

#nerdy, #scienceWorks, #fact

prubton, Ziya, DominicLomax, swatchUSA, UserOne, Drakonan, KnightofSIAL, harlequina, EssayLandscape, Stig300 and 9 others like this

reposted by harlequina and DoubleTower

I hate people who use metaphors that are physically impossible.
They make my blood boil.

UserOne, DominicLomax, hey.its.mira, crafty, bold, EssayLandscape, Fionacatherine, Ziya, petegutz2, juliettebravo and 1 other like this

#local

locupleto, PennyLame, crafty, NerdWord and Authlander like this

If you see your glass as half empty pour it into a smaller glass and get a life.

traumadid, myownboss, sonybox, OpenWorld, projecto, DominicLomax, MyM, kalyani.vasave, locupleto, Fabriciuz and 19 others like this

reposted by Ziya, MatNaWue, Hannah69, BreakHeight, Boldomatic, hippiechic, M_Selvmord_A, BG_r and gege57

Get all the fools on your side and you can be elected to anything.

• F. Dane

Ziya, zefrances and sudeshnarocks like this

Dogs are mules

• D. Chopra

crafty, JodieT and ThoughtBoy like this

Two things:

1. Where have you been all my life?

2. Can you please go back there?

comanzatara, harlequina, JodieT, ThoughtBoy and renesbold like this

Yes, you're an idiot

JodieT and Ziya like this

Look at that tiger with one eye!

Then she covers one eye and says, "Where?"

#oops

Authlander likes this

The truth does not become a lie just because liars are using it.

#commonsense

comanzatara, CityCharacter, ThoughtBoy, EmpressTygress, juliettebravo and Ziya like this

We always want it for free

#deep

Luca.Cheers, ThoughtBoy, springfire, Ziya, sarcaSM and bold like this

reposted by sarcaSM

I've only been wrong once, and that's when I thought I was wrong.

MyM, jmb, crafty, ThoughtBoy and Authlander like this

Ten reasons why men are lazy:

1)

comanzatara, jmb, crafty and ThoughtBoy like this

MACHEN IST WIE WOLLEN.

NUR KRASSER.

comanzatara, jmb, Juli7 and renesbold like this

imagine all the people.

Reposted from Campo

Campo, GreatSmile, KnightofSIAL, InfluenceNoise and ChrisRota like this

Dort, wo Freude ohne jeden Bezug zum Leid, zur Trauer steht, verliert sie ebenso ihren Sinn wie Freiheit ohne Verantwortung.

Reposted from Sunshine123

BG_r, jmb, crafty and Sunshine123 like this

The long and winding road...

Lead me to your door.

#beatles

jmb, crafty, NerdWord, InfluenceNoise and Bettydent like this

A big YES to NO!

#yes

BG_r, phuamaxx, ManuTiger, Ziya, beingme, GreatSmile and sudeshnarocks like this

Eine kluge Frau sagt immer die Wahrheit - aber niemals die ganze.

BG_r, madamem., comanzatara, ManuTiger, jmb, Juli7, guggigirl and Ziya like this

No, I didn't say you WERE stupid, I said you ARE stupid.

There's nothing past-tense about it.

jmb, comanzatara, PennyLame, Authlander, phuamaxx, ThoughtBoy, emiledi77, Ziya, ZeepBella, ChrisRota and 1 other like this

A: Any doctor here?!
B: I'm a doctor, what's going on?

A: A heart attack!
B: I'm a doctor in philosophy.

A: He's going to die!
B: We are all going to die.

#mood, #philosophy

comanzatara, jmb, streetmedic and renesbold like this

I'M SMILING

That alone should scare you

#toxic

busylizzie, UserOne, jmb, JodieT, GreatSmile, ThoughtBoy, EmpressTygress, ChrisRota and Ziya like this

Ein Optimist ist in der Regel ein Zeitgenosse,
der ungenügend informiert ist.

• J. B. Priestly

Luca.Cheers, BG_r, renesbold, ChrisRota and dor1316 like this

I'm so naturally awesome,

I wish I had a friend like me.

#natural

bold, Fionacatherine, UserOne, ErikSmit, swatchUSA, Campo, juliettebravo, ChrisRota, petegutz2, CityCharacter and 7 others like this

Zombies eat brains.

You're safe.

bmj, Luca.Cheers, comanzatara, UserOne, FrankFilocamo, phuamaxx, ChrisRota, GreatSmile, ThoughtBoy, beingme and 4 others like this

How to fall down stairs:

Step 1
Step 4
Step 6,9,12,18

Lilolady, Authlander, UserOne, ThoughtBoy, sudeshnarocks, JodieT, Ziya, jmb and FrankFilocamo like this

Trust me I'm a liar.

UserOne, FrankFilocamo, Sunshine123, sudeshnarocks and ChrisRota like this

Life's good,

you should get one.

eulekauzig, jmb, Stig300, FrankFilocamo, Campo, ZeepBella, ForeverActive, JodieT, ChrisRota and Ziya like this

reposted by invalid

When you're dead you don't know that you're dead. It's only difficult for the others.

It's the same thing when you're stupid.

Reposted from rhodesia

ForeverActive, tonyyy, InfluenceNoise, ZeepBella and jmb like this

I wonder which lucky member of Noah's crew got to carry the tapeworms.

#sarcasm

renesbold and ZeepBella like this

I know deep down, that one day boldomatic will repost one of my posts. I will get that badge!

Reposted from Leanne

jmb, Luenchen, beingme, Fionacatherine and ZeepBella like this

If you choke a Smurf,

#5wordstory

phuamaxx, juliettebravo, GreatSmile, meohmy, CityCharacter, SmokeShell and ThoughtBoy like this

People pretend well.

ZeepBella likes this

Being a man means doing what I want when I want and not having to answer to...

Shit she's coming!!
To be continued...

jaybyrd, meohmy, ChrisRota, KnightofSIAL and bobbybuilder like this

Actions always prove why words mean nothing.

Ziya and InfluenceNoise like this

All we have is here an now

let's cherish every moment

ChrisRota, FrankFilocamo, InfluenceNoise and ZeepBella like this

I know everything happens for a reason...

But sometimes I wish I knew what the reason was...

janem803, anca, Cherished, KnightofSIAL, Drakonan, ChrisRota, eulekauzig, katiebold, wizeoldsoul, bobbybuilder and 4 others like this

reposted by FutureFeel and shankarrkn

Why do horoscopes of the same zodiac sign in different newspapers differ so much?

#horoscope, #fact

tonyyy, PennyLame, JodieT and Ziya like this

I had a dream where I weighed less than a thousandth of a gram.

I was like 0mg.

Sherry89, ChrisRota, tonyyy, KnightofSIAL, JannatArora, GreatSmile and InfluenceNoise like this

reposted by ChrisRota

When you want to help people, you tell them the truth.
When you want to help yourself, you tell them what they want to hear.

Reposted from Bettydent

tonyyy, beingme, bobbybuilder, zefrances and petegutz2 like this

When you tell the truth it becomes part of your past.

When you lie it becomes part of your future.

Reposted from chrysti

tonyyy, bobbybuilder, beingme, sudeshnarocks and InfluenceNoise like this

the only thing people hate more than lies is the TRUTH.

Reposted from jazz23

jmb, jazz23, juneocallagh, NerdWord, Ziya and sudeshnarocks like this

Now I can say it. My password is r&om.

#random

eulekauzig, Sherry89, karlokoenig, Campo, Vandtastic, prubton, bold, beingme, swatchUSA, Fionacatherine and 6 others like this

reposted by prubton

The only way to go fast, is to go well.

• R. C. Martin

beingme, InfluenceNoise and juliettebravo like this

Die Menschen leisten sich mit Vorliebe das, was sie sich nicht leisten können.

#irony

If you drink to forget, you should pay in advance.

#memories

jmb, InfluenceNoise, zefrances, UserOne and sudeshnarocks like this

An a#%*#~e says, "If it hasn't happen to me, I don't care."

A decent person says, "This should never happen to anyone, and that's why I care."

#commonsense

UserOne, zefrances, juliettebravo, ZeepBella, Ziya and InfluenceNoise like this

Life is not always

#000000 & #FFFFFF

#nerdy

tonyyy and InfluenceNoise like this

How's your meal?

Good, according to Instagram.

#foodporn

KnightofSIAL, jmb, PennyLame, JodieT, InfluenceNoise and sudeshnarocks like this

It's about time to fly to the moon and let the earth rise again.

tonyyy, Juli7, InfluenceNoise, JodieT and sudeshnarocks like this

Go! Went, Gone

Yes, she's gone.

• irregular life

niniel, InfluenceNoise, -Juliane- and ZeepBella like this

No one wants to leave home unless home is the mouth of a shark.

#refugee

wizeoldsoul, InfluenceNoise, bobbybuilder, juneocallagh, Ziya, JodieT, sudeshnarocks and ZeepBella like this

Pain is your friend

#purposeOfLife

Fionacatherine, InfluenceNoise, JannatArora, Ziya, sudeshnarocks and juneocallagh like this

Boldomatic can seriously damage your ignorance...

#loyality, #bold

UserOne, busylizzie, juneocallagh, JodieT, Ziya, sudeshnarocks, dor1316, InfluenceNoise, Sledge and Fionacatherine like this

reposted by busylizzie

Hey Siri, is it your or you're?

#TMI

janem803, jmb, Lilolady, EmpressTygress, wizeoldsoul, juneocallagh, shespeaks94, smeralda, Mo81186, Orkid and 22 others like this

reposted by Boldomatic, youandme, micaela, Mathilda and monaliz

If you don't get it.

Just lie and say 'I see...'

juneocallagh, chrysti, Sledge and Ziya like this

I always intended to pay for my sins, but I could never afford it.

#sarcasm

shankarrkn, SourceBlack, -Juliane- and chrysti like this

Stop the earth from spinning around the sun, I want to get off!

#saveMeFromHumanity

shankarrkn likes this

Fart when someone hugs you, it makes them feel strong.

#oops

bobbybuilder likes this

Die "Natur" kennt kein Mitgefühl mit Schwächeren, Menschen schon.

• E. Hirschhausen

#vaccination, #deep

MaScho and renesbold like this

Men 1845: I just killed a buffalo.

Men 1952: I just fixed the roof.

Men 2017: I just shaved my legs.

ZeepBella, ChrisRota, eulekauzig, jmb, bobbybuilder, Shea, radufs, Ziya and guggigirl like this

We are all in a 'Final Destination'
improv film.

Whatever it takes, be your own director.

#whatever

Shea, BoldWorld, Ziya, BiteSenior and meohmy like this

We're living in a world where people starts thinking that the earth is flat like a plate and science is a religion.

#irony

bobbybuilder, purplechill, chocolat and roosterbear like this

The best way to learn is to teach.

bobbybuilder, shankarrkn, meohmy, purplechill, Sunshine123, Authlander, NerdWord and juliettebravo like this

We have everything we don't need.

Yet, it's not enough.

bobbybuilder, phuamaxx, purplechill, meohmy, dor1316 and Sunshine123 like this

Ignore your problem. It won't solve it, but it feels better.

Bwahahaha....

bobbybuilder, bold, Fionacatherine, -Juliane-, guggigirl, BreathMiddle, meohmy, Sunshine123, jussayin, Authlander and 4 others like this

If you look at yourself on a mirror. Technicaly it's you in the past.

#fact

jmb, bobbybuilder, guggigirl, meohmy, Sunshine123, jussayin, petegutz2, juneocallagh, Ziya and NerdWord like this

Helping people is not for free, it's to stay free.

bobbybuilder, phuamaxx, SourceBlack, Authlander and Sunshine123 like this

Disney Land is the greatest human trap a mouse has ever made.

#oops

ChrisRota, eulekauzig, jmb and juneocallagh like this

Happy World Humanist Day!

'compassion
'equality
'reason

21st June

#humanistDay

PennyLame, jussayin and meohmy like this

If there is no master, whose slave shall I be?

#purposeOfLife

locupleto likes this

Learn what is true in order to do what is right.

• Huxley

#deep

bobbybuilder, janem803, locupleto, shankarrkn, meohmy, Ziya, juneocallagh, Sunshine123, purplechill, NerdWord and 1 other like this

When I was a kid we didn't have Pokemon Go. We had to go to Church to find imaginary creatures.

#sarcasm

shankarrkn, bold, phuamaxx, juneocallagh and juliettebravo like this

The sinking of the Titanic was a miracle to the lobsters in the ship's kitchen.

#irony

lonelyscribe, busylizzie, bobbybuilder, CleoBe, Vandtastic, Fionacatherine, UserOne, phuamaxx, MyM, juneocallagh and 3 others like this

reposted by shankarrkn

If you don't sin, Jesus died for nothing.

#twisted

Krisargent, PietroAzriel, sirskitten1, Krusa, karlokoenig, jmb, UserOne, Bhoomi_Dekate, bobbybuilder, Ofrkjr and 25 others like this

reposted by Boldomatic, sawei, onym, Givmath and StrainMuscle

Wenn ein Baum im Wald umfällt und niemand in der Nähe ist, gibt es dann trotzdem ein Geräusch?

Zen

Fionacatherine likes this

I'm addicted to placebos. I'd give them up, but it wouldn't make any difference.

• S. Wright

#sarcasm

bobbybuilder, janem803, Fionacatherine and meohmy like this

To make an enemy,
do someone a favor.

#irony

bobbybuilder, chocolat, Shea, Parole, MaScho, FrankFilocamo, jussayin, Ziya, Fionacatherine and bold like this

Friends come and go, but enemies accumulate.

#oops

Luca.Cheers, janem803, bobbybuilder, shankarrkn, Shea, FrankFilocamo, Parole, jussayin, Fionacatherine, ZeepBella and 1 other like this

reposted by FrankFilocamo

The sum of the intelligence on the planet is a constant.

The population is growing.

#irony

buzzielizzy, Decipher, Ziya, TimBuktu, Drakonan, Krusa, KnightofSIAL, ChrisRota, Lilolady, UserOne and 32 others like this

reposted by RajshreeMishra, Centenigle, Boldomatic, visorvice, Pradeepbir, NailSpeaker and UserOne

Beauty times brains equals a constant.

#nerdy

bobbybuilder, Shea, locupleto, MaScho, Fionacatherine, jussayin, PennyLame and ZeepBella like this

Celibacy
is not hereditary.

#genetics

bobbybuilder, jussayin and PennyLame like this

There are two types of people: those who divide people into two types, and those who don't.

#twoKindsOfPeople

lonelyscribe, erikvisser, perellano, elidealista, busylizzie, Campo, EmilyHeller, Sasquatchprime, Authlander, Drakonan and 17 others like this

reposted by RajshreeMishra, Boldomatic and krystal

In order to get a loan you must first prove you don't need it.

#irony

bobbybuilder, janem803, PennyLame, Fionacatherine, dor1316 and UserOne like this

Those who can - do

Those who cannot - teach

Those who cannot teach - administrate

#irony

bobbybuilder, -Juliane-, Fionacatherine, dor1316 and UserOne like this

A shortcut is the longest distance between two points.

bobbybuilder, PennyLame, purplechill, FrankFilocamo and jussayin like this

If you're feeling good, don't worry. You'll get over it.

eulekauzig, bobbybuilder, UserOne, ZeepBella, 7Carcinogenic7, BerlinGirl2014, purplechill, prubton, Ziya, FrankFilocamo and 2 others like this

reposted by FrankFilocamo, Caranissi and FrankTheTank

Good neighbors don't set password to their wifi.

#myneighbor

Mthokeaux, stargater, purplechill, phuamaxx, FrankFilocamo and campino like this

The girl next door...

She says I have schizophrenia. She's so funny, because I don't have any neighbor.

#myneighbor

bobbybuilder, Fionacatherine, juneocallagh, FreakyDeaky, MyM, meohmy, jussayin, dor1316 and guggigirl like this

I've never seen him.

#myneighbor

bobbybuilder, dAn, juneocallagh, FrankFilocamo and dor1316 like this

I'm grateful that I met you.

#grateful

Krisargent, roosterbear, bobbybuilder, janem803, FrankFilocamo, BerlinGirl2014, SourceBlack, shespeaks94, Vandtastic, DygytAlice and 9 others like this

reposted by juneocallagh and FrankFilocamo

It's funny how the girls that were whores in high school are now married with children & all of their facebook updates are Bible verses.

#irony, #twisted

bobbybuilder, janem803, phuamaxx, FrankFilocamo, jussayin, petegutz2 and PennyLame like this

Don't drink water while studying!

Because chemistry says that concentration decreases on adding water.

#nerdy

petegutz2, KnightofSIAL, juneocallagh, FrankFilocamo, Fionacatherine, harlequina, meohmy, jussayin, NerdWord and Authlander like this

Did she did it again?

#oops

petegutz2, juneocallagh, phuamaxx, meohmy and UserOne like this

Human tend to overvalue their usefulness and value as a species. We are nothing in the grand scheme. A drop of existence in a pool of time with an expanse so large, it is hard to fathom. Yet we think we matter.. haha

• W. Colabaugh

#deep

bobbybuilder, petegutz2, juneocallagh, purplechill, meohmy and aana like this

Leute gibt's, die gibt's gar nicht.

KnightofSIAL, Juli7, niemo, juneocallagh, sarcaSM, guggigirl and jussayin like this

Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero?

He's 0K now.

bobbybuilder, purplechill and Ziya like this

Stand for what is right

Even if that means
standing alone

janem803, EasierSaid246, purplechill, meohmy, dor1316 and idiomatic like this

If nobody hates you

trust me, you're doing something wrong

bobbybuilder, EasierSaid246, purplechill and ZeepBella like this

Forrest Gump for president

bobbybuilder, FreakyDeaky, EasierSaid246, Parole, emiledi77, meohmy, UserOne and Ziya like this

Things are not there if you don't see it.

Just look away. But it's more effective if you dig a hole and put your head in it.

#denial

meohmy, emiledi77, EasierSaid246, Sunshine123, ZeepBella and NerdWord like this

You have a right to your opinion, and I have a right to tell you how f** stupid it is.

#freedom

bobbybuilder, phuamaxx, chrysti, purplechill, EasierSaid246, emiledi77 and Sunshine123 like this

Common sense is not so common these days!

#postTruth

bobbybuilder, janem803, EasierSaid246, juneocallagh, dor1316, purplechill, chrysti, phuamaxx, niemo, emiledi77 and 3 others like this

Jesus loves you

means something COMPLETELY different in Mexico

Luca.Cheers, bobbybuilder, janem803, juneocallagh, EasierSaid246, emiledi77 and Ziya like this

We need more.

Don't know what, but we need more.

janem803, heidierdbeer, juneocallagh, Juli7, Sunshine123, purplechill, SourceBlack, meohmy, juliettebravo and emiledi77 like this

You have Windows 10?

I don't work with old stuff. Mine is Windows 95.

#nerd

NerdWord, emiledi77 and meohmy like this

The chemical symbol of holy water is H2OMG.

#nerd

JMBis, bobbybuilder, locupleto, EasierSaid246, emiledi77, Sunshine123, juneocallagh, Juli7, guggigirl, SourceBlack and 1 other like this

My physics professor said I have potential so he pushed me off the balcony.

bobbybuilder, emiledi77, purplechill and SourceBlack like this

To make it stand you wet it. To make it wet, you suck it. To make it stiff you lick it. To get it in, you push it. Threading a needle isn't easy...

#twisted

lonelyscribe, TimBuktu, sirskitten1, busylizzie, bobbybuilder, EasierSaid246, dor1316, emiledi77, phuamaxx, SourceBlack and 3 others like this

reposted by sirskitten1

Knowing is not enough; we must apply. Willing is not enough; we must do.

• Bruce Lee

bophoev, janem803, EasierSaid246, purplechill, Sunshine123, juneocallagh, emiledi77 and UserOne like this

Todays logic;

If you're bad you're good.

#villian, #posttruth, #villain

bobbybuilder, phuamaxx, meohmy, emiledi77, Mel.Filsinger and Ziya like this

Wondering how a Teletubbies casting works.

#laalaa, #dipsy, #po, #tinkywinky

EasierSaid246, Sunshine123, emiledi77, Mel.Filsinger and Ziya like this

Pic it otherwise it's not real.

#future, #news

bobbybuilder, phuamaxx, purplechill, Sunshine123, emiledi77 and Mel.Filsinger like this

People with crazy president

#goat, #skiresort, #solarsystem, #topless

bobbybuilder, phuamaxx, Sunshine123, SourceBlack, meohmy and emiledi77 like this

When it smells fishy it does not have to be a fish?

#grab

bobbybuilder, phuamaxx, Sunshine123 and emiledi77 like this

What do people do with all the extra time they save by writing "K" instead of "OK"?

#future

bobbybuilder, locupleto, phuamaxx, meohmy, Sunshine123, Parole, emiledi77 and MyM like this

In nature there are neither rewards nor punishments; there are only consiquences.

#stepOut, #fact

bobbybuilder, KnightofSIAL, roosterbear, phuamaxx, CleoBe, streetmedic, Blitzkrieg, swatchUSA, Sunshine123 and emiledi77 like this

reposted by swatchUSA

2016 Schwamm drüber!

2017 Verdammt!

2018 Endlich!

2019 Weiter so!

#thinkPositive, #stepOut

juneocallagh, emiledi77 and Mel.Filsinger like this

Fear is not real. It is the product of thoughts you create.

Danger is very real, but fear is a choice.

#BeAlive

MyM, UsualMan, phuamaxx, purplechill, SourceBlack, meohmy, Tanascha, Parole, emiledi77 and dor1316 like this

reposted by UsualMan

Page 365 of 365

meohmy, juneocallagh, UserOne, zefrances, emiledi77, Sunshine123 and Ziya like this

Everything is a risk. Not doing anything is a risk. It's up to you.

• N. Yoon

#doSomething

meohmy, emiledi77, zefrances, Sunshine123, NerdWord, SourceBlack and purplechill like this

My favorite frequency is 50'000Hz.

You probably never heard it before.

#nerdy

bobbybuilder, phuamaxx, SourceBlack, NerdWord, Sunshine123 and emiledi77 like this

A gift for someone who has already everything?

Try nothing

#thegrinch

EasierSaid246, phuamaxx, purplechill, dor1316, meohmy, emiledi77, Parole, Sunshine123 and NerdWord like this

2016 is the year of angry citizens who wants unreasonable change. That's how you start a world war.

bobbybuilder, phuamaxx, meohmy, emiledi77, NerdWord, SourceBlack, Sunshine123 and UserOne like this

Is Boldomatic a sect?

Nope.

All together, Uhmmmmmmm...

#boldomatic

bobbybuilder, Ziya, Shea, emiledi77 and SourceBlack like this

If you don't understand it.

That doesn't mean it's f** magic!

#fact

bobbybuilder, chrysti, Shea, emiledi77, SourceBlack and NerdWord like this

Your smell flashes the memories out of my head...

#flashback

bobbybuilder, emiledi77 and Sunshine123 like this

One day you're no more.

#melancholy

bobbybuilder, EasierSaid246, phuamaxx, juneocallagh, chrysti, Sunshine123, Dwell, meohmy and emiledi77 like this

Some people live their dreams.

Some people close their eyes.

Some people's destiny passes by.

Toto

#deep

bobbybuilder, EasierSaid246, purplechill, meohmy, emiledi77 and MyM like this

Viele sagen Zürich sei eingebildet,

dabei gibt es den Ort wirklich.

niemo, emiledi77 and campino like this

Dear Santa

I can explain it...

bobbybuilder, purplechill, emiledi77, campino, NerdWord, meohmy, Ziya and Sunshine123 like this

First you LEARN

Then you remove the 'L'

bobbybuilder, phuamaxx, Parole, lyfe, NerdWord, emiledi77, Ziya and Sunshine123 like this

Feel the sadness so that you can change your goals.

bobbybuilder, shankarrkn, MyM, SarcasticAssO, Ziya, Sunshine123, SourceBlack, juliettebravo, emiledi77, meohmy and 2 others like this

How can't I help you?

bobbybuilder, phuamaxx, MyM, SarcasticAssO, Sunshine123, SourceBlack, lyfe, emiledi77, meohmy and Shea like this

The child cries out:
"But he isn't wearing anything at all!"

The Emperor's New Clothes

phuamaxx, SarcasticAssO, SourceBlack, juliettebravo, emiledi77 and meohmy like this

Unglücklich das Land, das Helden nötig hat.

B. Brechts

juliettebravo, emiledi77, Sunshine123 and SarcasticAssO like this

When looking back doesn't interest you anymore, you're doing something right.

blacknote, Luca.Cheers, bobbybuilder, SarcasticAssO, meohmy, Sunshine123, lyfe and emiledi77 like this

Anna is smoking to be cool. Anna is stupid.

#dontSmoke

bobbybuilder, Dwell and emiledi77 like this

Once in a while someone amazing comes along...
and here I am!

#Hallucination

bobbybuilder, Shea, dor1316, cybersont, NerdWord, PenSword72, zefrances, purplechill, emiledi77 and bold like this

Who let the dogs out...

#songInYourHead

bobbybuilder, heidierdbeer, KnightofSIAL, SarcasticAssO, Shea, Juli7, PenSword72, Authlander, Sunshine123, zefrances and 2 others like this

It's not only the ignorance, it's the ability to be proud of being one.

bobbybuilder, chocolat, Nastiana, dor1316, cybersont, NerdWord, phuamaxx, emiledi77, Dwell, purplechill and 4 others like this

Science is like sex. It has practical applica-tions. But that's not why we do it.

• Feynman

#sex, #science

bobbybuilder, chocolat, cybersont, Shea, PenSword72, zefrances, emiledi77 and schoenerlesen like this

The flat earth society has members all around the globe.

;-)

bobbybuilder, Shea, phuamaxx, SourceBlack and Ziya like this

Did you know that if you put your ear up to a stranger's leg, you can hear them say...

What the hell are you doing!??

bobbybuilder, emiledi77, Dwell, Juli7, mylisa1970 and Parole like this

Too often we enjoy the comfort of opinion without the discomfort of tought.

• JFK

#deep

reg1907, bobbybuilder, SarcasticAssO, jodib, PenSword72, Parole, emiledi77, purplechill, juliettebravo, SourceBlack and 1 other like this

It has been said that civilization is twenty-four hours and two meals away from barbarism.

• N. Gaiman

#humanity

bobbybuilder, PenSword72, emiledi77, SourceBlack and UserOne like this

I know of no society in recorded history that ever suffered because its people became too reasonable.

• Sam Harris

#fact

bobbybuilder, emiledi77 and Ziya like this

I was what they call 'skinny fat' - a body that resembled a python after swallowing a goat.

• A. J. Jacobs

#skinnyfat

bobbybuilder, PenSword72 and emiledi77 like this

I know 5 people who are clinically insane...

I'm 2 of them.

#sarcasm

bobbybuilder, chocolat, SarcasticAssO, PenSword72, purplechill, emiledi77, bold, guggigirl, Dwell, Authlander and 3 others like this

When you're approaching in public, do not be rude. Say please. Introduce yourself. Have manners. Be considerate. Otherwise you'll be disappointed.

• C. Punk

#decency

purplechill, emiledi77, Dwell, SourceBlack, Ziya and UserOne like this

Raise your son to be a gentle-man and teach your daughter to accept nothing less.

#decency

lonelyscribe, bobbybuilder, Floki, KnightofSIAL, naebitnae, phuamaxx, locupleto, purplechill, MAMONI, UserOne and 5 others like this

Laughing is the best medicine. Unless you're laughing for no reason... then you need medicine.

#laugh, #Hallucination

busylizzie, Luca.Cheers, janem803, bobbybuilder, naebitnae, Fionacatherine, locupleto, purplechill, MAMONI, chrysti and 5 others like this

If nothing last forever, will you be my nothing?

#pickuplines

reg1907, bobbybuilder, naebitnae, MAMONI, phuamaxx, emiledi77, Tanascha, SourceBlack, locupleto, Dwell and 2 others like this

In the era of Telescopes and Microscopes people still trust the Horoscope.

#meaningful

lonelyscribe, busylizzie, bobbybuilder, ManuTiger, naebitnae, emiledi77, juneocallagh, prem.prabodh, siouxz, Ziya and 4 others like this

reposted by siouxz

If God did not exist, it would be necessary to invent him.

• Voltaire

#sarcasm

bobbybuilder, phuamaxx, MAMONI, lyfe, emiledi77 and SourceBlack like this

When your only tool is a hammer, all the problems looks like nails.

bobbybuilder, emiledi77, chrysti, MAMONI, purplechill, guggigirl and locupleto like this

If you repeat a lie often enough, it becomes truth.

#sarcasm

bobbybuilder, FrankFilocamo, SarcasticAssO, PenSword72, MAMONI, Juli7, Dwell, lyfe, Luenchen, emiledi77 and 3 others like this

Aus eine Reihe von Nullen macht man leicht eine Kette.

• S. J. Lec

guggigirl, Dwell, emiledi77, niemo, PenSword72 and lyfe like this

easy life
easy problems
easy solutions
easy people

just put 'easy' on it

#TakeItEasy

Luca.Cheers, bobbybuilder, juneocallagh, SourceBlack, emiledi77, UserOne, guggigirl, Ziya, MAMONI, Dwell and 1 other like this

Don't settle for belief in fairy tales just because you are overwhelmed by questions for which you have no answers.

• WFLA

#JustGrowUp

juneocallagh, SourceBlack, Parole, emiledi77, purplechill and Ziya like this

reposted by emiledi77

I'm not going to censor myself to comfort your ignorance.

• J. Stewart

#freethinking

eulekauzig, 2schaa, nipase, Drakonan, UserOne, chocolat, roosterbear, juneocallagh, SourceBlack, chrysti and 8 others like this

reposted by emiledi77, UserOne and Anveshi

Butay
Palwa
Takung

#bisaya

emiledi77 likes this

My last relationship was like Forrest Gump and Jenny.

I was retarded and she was a whore.

bobbybuilder, chocolat, cybersont, Shea, SourceBlack, purplechill, Fionacatherine, JodieT, Ziya, UserOne and 8 others like this

reposted by GaylrdSprFckr

How do you spell 'crocodile'?

K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L

No, that's wrong.

Maybe it's wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.

#joke

bobbybuilder, abe, PenSword72, Parole, purplechill, niemo, campino, emiledi77, Sunshine123, UserOne and 1 other like this

Really strange how strange strangers are.

#stranger

rebelliousdiva, chrysti, Parole, juneocallagh, UserOne, niemo, hallowelt, locupleto, PenSword72, Authlander and 2 others like this

I SCREAM for ICE CREAM

chrysti, Authlander, emiledi77, purplechill, Ziya, naebitnae and Yakooza like this

Teacher: Nik, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?

Nik: A teacher?

#teacher

Dwell, abe, Parole, phuamaxx, Ziya, emiledi77 and locupleto like this

Why is the chemical formula for water
H I J K L M N O?

Because H to O.

#funny

Parole, PenSword72, phuamaxx, Ziya, emiledi77, campino, meohmy, locupleto and kuchekesha like this

Are you full of Beryllium, Gold and Titanium?

Because you are BE-AU-TI-FULL.

#pickuplines

jmb, PenSword72, Ziya, emiledi77, meohmy, locupleto, Luenchen and naebitnae like this

You can tell how smart people are by what they laugh at.

• Tina Fey

#deep, #meaningful

meohmy, schoenerlesen, niemo, emiledi77, locupleto and Ziya like this

If someone doesn't value logic, what logical argument would you invoke to prove they should value logic?

• Sam Harris

#fact

chocolat, zefrances, meohmy, emiledi77, UserOne, purplechill, somachmers73 and Parole like this

Close your eyes and you'll see it.

#deep

Krisargent, hanna1, chixter, eulekauzig, janem803, Bhoomi_Dekate, FrankFilocamo, roosterbear, Mel.Filsinger, SarcasticAssO and 34 others like this

reposted by Tanascha, swatchUSA, Boldomatic, rachelree, hallo123456, a_mars_bar, ScratchEffort, jodib and chixter

If you want to learn what someone fears losing, watch what they photograph.

#poem, #fear, #deep

Parole, srulix, Lieutenant, Shea, 1956, schoenerlesen, phuamaxx, Ziya, juliettebravo, guggigirl and 3 others like this

It's hard to wait around for something you know might never happen; but it's harder to give up when you know it's everything you want.

#poem, #deep

chocolat, Shea, meohmy, Ziya, juliettebravo, Luenchen, locupleto, emiledi77 and mylisa1970 like this

Never apologize for burning too brightly or collapsing into yourself every night

that is how galaxies are made.

• T. K. White

#poem, #galaxy, #positive

lonelyscribe, chocolat, SarcasticAssO, Shea, phuamaxx, MyM, meohmy, PenSword72, Ziya, juliettebravo and 4 others like this

Be with someone who makes your Monday's feel like Friday's.

#poem, #monday

Juli7, phuamaxx, MyM, meohmy, Ziya, juliettebravo, guggigirl, Luenchen, locupleto, emiledi77 and 1 other like this

I don't understand why it hurts a lot if you bite your tongue accidentally but doesn't hurt if you bite it intentionally, and what I don't understand most is why are you biting your tongue right now?!

#tongue

Parole, meohmy, locupleto, zefrances and Ziya like this

The only people we can think of as normal are those we don't yet know very well.

• Sigmund Freud

#wisdom, #therapy

busylizzie, v_kapa, whatever., Parole, Dead.Yeti, meohmy, locupleto, aana, swatchUSA, UserOne and 1 other like this

reposted by dolly

When I was young my parents treated me like a God.

They didn't believed in me.

srulix, Parole, malalatete, phuamaxx, meohmy, Authlander, aana, locupleto, Ziya, ruhip and 1 other like this

Religion is for people who are scared to go to hell. Spirituality is for people who have already been there.

• Bonnie Raitt

locupleto, schoenerlesen, phuamaxx, guggigirl, PenSword72, juliettebravo and Ziya like this

Sometimes people don't want to hear the truth because they don't want their illusions destroyed

• Nietzsche

begrian, niniel, locupleto, phuamaxx, MyM, aussi-girl90, Authlander, aana, PenSword72, Ziya and 2 others like this

If stupid you are, speak you should not.

• yoda •

roosterbear, SarcasticAssO, PenSword72, bostonamy, purplechill, sis, schoenerlesen, meohmy, KnightofSIAL, Ziya and 5 others like this

MaScho likes this

Thursday is better than Monday,

but worse than Friday,

but better than Tuesday,

but worse than Saturday,

but better than Wednesday.

#thursday

locupleto, phuamaxx, meohmy, aana, Sunshine123, Ziya and somachmers73 like this

Close your eyes and try to cross the street.

#gotfaith

Authlander, niemo, guggigirl and Ziya like this

Nobody is perfect.

My name is Nobody.

#funny

locupleto, Ziya, Sunshine123, niemo and mindgames like this

I can explain it to you,

but I can't understand it for you.

#deep

eulekauzig, janem803, UserOne, roosterbear, Mel.Filsinger, SarcasticAssO, PenSword72, cybersont, ManuTiger, PueppiRazza and 20 others like this

reposted by jodib and PueppiRazza

Listen, I have a big problem with you.

I can't make a difference between you and a beautiful girl.

#pickuplines, #pickupline

Lieutenant, aussi-girl90, sis, zefrances, somachmers73 and aana like this

I'm asking my self, if it's too late to wrap my self like a baby and lay down at the front door of a rich family...

Brosuperior, buzzielizzy, Sherry89, Andromenadda, eulekauzig, Drakonan, CurrentNobody, janem803, Lilolady, Floki and 39 others like this

reposted by schoenerlesen, Boldomatic, Redick, brokenwingz, cdicl79, MaferWafer, Rbnewton67, Bes1, MissBloss, SashoKremich and 3 others

Once I stared to a girl for more than fifteen minutes....

Finally she ask me...

Girl: Are you staring at me?

Me: Sure, can I order now?

#funny

niemo and Sunshine123 like this

I just call to say ... my job

sing it!

#lovemyjob, #yooture

Authlander, locupleto and zefrances like this

I love the weather in London

#lovemyjob, #yooture

Sunshine123 and zefrances like this

If you don't read the news, you're uninformed;
if you read the news, you're misinformed.

- Twain -

PennyLame and PenSword72 like this

It's true, alcohol kills people

but how many are born because of it?

Lieutenant, meohmy, PennyLame, hensch, Authlander, Sunshine123, Luenchen, revolte42 and purplechill like this

It's really strange tho...

Why do meteors always land in craters?

meohmy, hensch, Authlander, locupleto and Sunshine123 like this

Let's play head or tail,

• head I win

• tail you lose

;-)

Sunshine123 likes this

KISS

Keep
It
Simple
Stupid

Sunshine123 likes this

There are more airplanes in the see as submarines in the sky

#deep

malalatete, Luenchen, guggigirl, campino and locupleto like this

What I don't understand is how woman can pour hot wax on their bodies, let it dry, then rip out every single hair by its root and still be scared of spiders.

#woman, #spider

KnightofSIAL, Lieutenant, meohmy, Ziya, PennyLame, MaScho, PenSword72 and schoenerlesen like this

The only 'B' word you should call a woman is 'Beautiful'

Bitches love being called beautiful.

#woman, #beauty

JMBis, siouxz, OpenWorld, Drakonan, Lilolady, jaybyrd, janem803, crazynicki513, Floki, FreakyDeaky and 30 others like this

reposted by Boldomatic, Reefah, singhnandranie, adamf303, edje, rudeboy, pickovakarol, Dar.G, Sheherasade1, samkee and 2 others

We need google in our brain, anti-virus in our heart...

And photoshop on our face

;-)

#joke, #funny

schoenerlesen likes this

Love has to be earned

otherwise you are just horny

meohmy, PennyLame, sis, Sunshine123, schoenerlesen, 1956 and writetoparty like this

Telepathy: think a number
between 1 - 200

• add 23
• minus 11
• minus the number you thought before
• add 5

scanning your brain ........

seventeen, magic!

This Thursday feels like a Friday

;-)

locupleto, schoenerlesen, niemo, sis and Authlander like this

For the first time in my life I'm in love. Thanks Cupid :-)

What should I do now with my wife?

#cupid, #firstLove, #oops

meohmy, locupleto and sis like this

Write something just in case it makes any sense.

locupleto and sis like this

Don't make a permanent decision for a temporary emotion.

- Jay -

purplechill, niemo, Sunshine123 and Luenchen like this

How I wish my Mom could live forever.

...

stargater, purplechill, sunny71, locupleto and Authlander like this

Out, out, brief candle! Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player, that struts and frets his hour upon the stage, and then is heard no more. It is a tale. Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, Signifying nothing.

- Shakespeare -

locupleto, niemo and Sunshine123 like this

Society has become so fake that the truth actually bothers people

#truthbomb

Krisargent, boldolicious, Fmon, BoldDelight, OpenWorld, PublicScratch, Drakonan, bmj, Krusa, Lilolady and 56 others like this

reposted by Boldomatic, rudeboy, RobsonBlecha, Zelda, agneymenon, basefull, lolzaah, giulssbartolux, dennisson10, adamf303 and 5 others

There are so many scams on the internet now a days.

Send me 9.95 Euro and I will tell you how to aviod them.

SarcasticAssO, Dwell, Lieutenant, Jasko, radufs, swatchUSA, sarcaSM, diane.b, phuamaxx, juneocallagh and 2 others like this

reposted by juneocallagh

There is no afterlife.

There is only oblivion.

#gotfaith

juneocallagh, zefrances, satan and Sunshine123 like this

People see you walk on water and say, it's because you can't swim ...

stargater, locupleto, juneocallagh, zefrances, Sunshine123 and MyM like this

Deletes Internet Explorer

Forgot to install a new web browser :-(

#oops

janem803, juneocallagh, zefrances, Sunshine123 and niemo like this

Wenn du dich gesund ernährst, ausreichend Schlaf bekommst,
Sport treibst und immer genug Wasser trinkst,
stirbst du trotzdem.

PenSword72, KnightofSIAL, campino and Sunshine123 like this

1800 - woman has no rights

1900 - woman is fighting for her rights

2015 - woman is always right

juneocallagh, zefrances and Sunshine123 like this

Remember that one song?

.... Tears on my pillow, pain in my heart. Caused by you ....

;-) highschool life ;-)

#pillowtalk

juneocallagh, MyM, zefrances, guggigirl and Jamille like this

Don't wonder at those who are good without a magic man.

Pity those who need a magic man to be good.

#gotfaith

hensch, juneocallagh, PenSword72 and haddock like this

less is enough

;-)

#lessismore

meohmy, elmicha12, juneocallagh, haddock, sarcaSM and Qball like this

And here ends another week without getting rich and famous.

Luca.Cheers, KnightofSIAL, Lieutenant, elmicha12, hensch, haddock, juneocallagh, zefrances, schoenerlesen and Sunshine123 like this

For all of you who wants to learn Swissgerman:

great = huärä gäil
boring = langwillig
sleep = penne
crap = schiisse
what = hä
horse = rössli ( lasagne )
work = umehoke
weekend = weekend

hensch, juneocallagh, guggigirl, Sunshine123, niemo, Tanascha and haddock like this

Wenn Du ein Schiff bauen willst, dann trommle nicht Männer zusammen, um Holz zu beschaffen, Aufgaben zu vergeben und die Arbeit einzuteilen, sondern lehre sie die Sehnsucht nach dem weiten, endlosen Meer.

- Exupery -

haddock and sunny71 like this

Nicht alles, wonach wir uns besser fühlen, ist gut für uns.

Nicht alles, was weh tut, muss unbedingt auch schlecht sein.

niniel, haddock, Tanascha, Sunshine123 and sunny71 like this

It's ironic for being considered strange because you don't believe in a magic man living in the sky.

#fact

juneocallagh and niemo like this

Irgendwann werden wir vergessen sein und selbst das Vergessen wird vergessen sein.

- S. Schmidt -

#funeral, #fact

niniel, itchyPitchfork, Sunshine123 and niemo like this

If you have people that check if you got home safe.

Your life is okay.

meohmy, Authlander, juneocallagh, ErikSmit, purplechill and guggigirl like this

My younger sister calls me like my mother calls me.

boy!

I mean I'm over 30. No odds to change it till I die.

#siblings

satan, sarcaSM, juneocallagh, PenSword72, Qball, zefrances, niemo and locupleto like this

as we start doing it

we become

FrankFilocamo, roosterbear, Jasko, satan, juneocallagh, haddock, schoenerlesen, Sunshine123, locupleto and sunny71 like this

reposted by schoenerlesen

You can't have it all ...

joe3672, guggigirl, juneocallagh, niemo and purplechill like this

Wanna watch a movie with a happy ending? ;-)

KILL
BILL

#happilyeverafter

juneocallagh, PenSword72 and guggigirl like this

And I think to my self.......

What a dumbass.

Llouise, juneocallagh, Tanascha, haddock and PenSword72 like this

Don't want to live too long and have more fun in life?

Fitness is overrated. Just live moderate and take it easy.

#fitness

MyM, joe3672, juneocallagh, locupleto and haddock like this

Let's dive and don't come back again.

I think it's a better place down there.

#wonderofthesea, #wwf

juneocallagh, haddock and paye312 like this

I shall return...

Boooo!

#gravestone

PenSword72, juneocallagh and haddock like this

reposted by jmelri and jmelri

Wife: Honey can you give me 5000 bucks for a plastic surgery?

Husband: I'll give you 10000 bucks.

#plasticsurgery, #oops

anna.panayi11, ladiesman217, haddock, UserOne, guggigirl and juneocallagh like this

Don't beam meI up Scotty! I
I
I'm taking a SHI

meohmy, haddock and juneocallagh like this

Hello

Without knowing your conscious intention I'm only a small help.

Give access to your brain!

Best regards
autocorrect

#autocorrect

ladiesman217, Sunshine123, juneocallagh, satan and haddock like this

How fast time pass by without giving us any second chances.

That's an ironic game we're playing.

Sunshine123, juneocallagh and haddock like this

So, you're waiting for the supernatural?

Ramen...

#gotfaith

juneocallagh and haddock like this

Excuse me...

for nothing

juneocallagh likes this

Your life will have no turning points, if you're not always looking for new challenges.

#turningpoint

purplechill, juneocallagh and patuljak like this

In nature there are neither rewards nor punishments; there are only consequences.

juneocallagh likes this

Memento mori

...

#fact

bophoev, locupleto and juneocallagh like this

I've tried to weigh my head, but you can't really see how much it weighs, don't you? ;-)

guggigirl and juneocallagh like this

Life is like a candle,
one day you're blown out.

you're no more

locupleto, juneocallagh and hebdifescht like this

reposted by itchyPitchfork

sometimes it's just life

bold, fakeaccont and juneocallagh like this

aurelieleah, bold and juneocallagh like this