Lieutenant's Posts

If you're brain dead,
you don't mind.

#hashtag

Andromenadda, busylizzie1, Juli7, Fionacatherine, swatchUSA and Ziya like this

[ engaging in pillow talk ]
"I fucking love pillows!"

#shutupthatswho

buzzielizzy, Fionacatherine, janem803, ZeepBella, MyM, CurrentNobody and stargater like this

Sorry I'm late
because I had
to find all the
things that
were in plain
sight for my
husband.

buzzielizzy, busylizzie1, AlienSpunk, janem803, ZeepBella, MyM and CurrentNobody like this

Marriage is just your spouse perpetually standing in front of the kitchen drawer or cabinet you need to open.

JMBis, Fionacatherine, janem803, MyM and CurrentNobody like this

My wife wanted two kittens but I am the man in this house so we got two kittens.

#justinguarini

dr.nicilot3.0, Fionacatherine, janem803, ZeepBella, MyM and CurrentNobody like this

ME: "Hey Siri"
SIRI: [ audible sigh ]

arxvis, CurrentNobody, Ziya, dannyzee, janem803, MyM and IfAnimal like this