hellskitten2's Posts

I saw a man yelling at the beach: Help! Shark! Help!

I laughed, I knew the shark wasn't going to help him...

Reposted from BJcore

A router goes into a doctor's office and says, "It hurts when IP."

Reposted from NukeSkywalker

Kid: Dear Santa, send me a brother!

Santa: Send me your mother.

Reposted from avant-garde

avant-garde likes this

"Beauty sleep" is such bullshit. I sleep like 12 hours a day and still look like a trashcan.

Reposted from anonymous

I saw a spider in my bathtub, so I got a piece of tissue and very, very carefully, burned the house down.

Reposted from crystalD

Hmm? What am I up to? Nothing, just sitting here stroking and playing with my pussy.

I MEANT MY CAT!

Reposted from sophh

if you can't take the heat, don't tickle the dragon.

Reposted from naebitnae

Naps are tricky because you either wake up refreshed or you wake up asking what year it is.

Reposted from IO_N_O

If history repeats itself I'm so getting a dinosaur!

Reposted from snajsig

You can stay, but your clothes must go...

Reposted from nataliabykuc

Some days should come with a warning label: Today is going to suck, so bring alcohol.

Reposted from anonymous

When people see you laying down with your eyes closed, they still ask "Are you sleeping?"

"No, I'm training to die."

Reposted from anonymous

Zodiac Signs Fear

Aries- being trapped
Taurus-being forgotten
Gemini- not being heard
Cancer-being abandoned
Leo-being ignored
Virgo- not being useful
Libra- being alone
Scorpio-being rejected
Sagittarius- being tied down
Capricorn- failure
Aquarius- uniformity
Pisces- facing a harsh reality

Reposted from Convo_Ray

People in love use phrases like;
"takes my breath away" and "swept me off my feet."

I think they"re confusing love with attempted murder.

Reposted from 2schaa

2schaa likes this

You are a tornado
with pretty eyes and a heartbeat.

Reposted from anonymous

I like to be alone.
But I would rather be alone with you.

Reposted from wookie

i wonder what monsters have nightmares
about...

Reposted from annairie

annairie likes this

i wonder what monsters have nightmares
about...

Reposted from annairie

annairie likes this

A real man know how to cook.

Reposted from chebeto

I've gotten out of bed 365 days a year for over 17 years now, that's over 5800 sit-ups and not one ab to show for it.

Reposted from anonymous

Everyone has one friend who can turn any conversation into something dirty.

Reposted from anonymous

Of course I talk to myself.

Sometimes I need expert advice.

Reposted from anonymous

You clean up well, but I love it when you're dirty.

Reposted from anonymous

PenSword72 likes this

Remember,

people say 'I love you' in different ways...

'eat something'

'get some sleep'

'have my fries'

'yeah i'll buy it for you'

Reposted from Ms_Ntlebi

Ms_Ntlebi likes this

People in love use phrases like;
"takes my breath away" and "swept me off my feet."

I think they"re confusing love with attempted murder.

Reposted from 2schaa

2schaa likes this

when I see you I feel scared to touch you, when I touch you I feel scared to kiss you,
when I kiss you I feel scared to hug you,
when I hug you I feel scared to love you,
when I love you I feel scared to lose you ....

Reposted from choyang