BadLeprechaun1's Posts

I will be so, disappointed if when he eventually dies, Will.I.Am does NoT have his gravestone inscribed with, "Will.I.Was"!

janeh likes this

Don`t waste your time on me...

...You`re already...

...The voice inside my head...

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Chocolate is made from Cacao...

...Cacao is grown on a plant...

...Plants that provide food are considered as being Vegetable Matter...

...So this Chocolate Bar counts as one portion of veg, for today, right!?!

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"Whomever smelt it dealt it...

...So technically, Officer, that makes this marijuana yours."

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If I well overcook all of my food, will I lose weight, seeing as I've already burnt off the calories?

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It's ALWAYS "i" before "e", except after "c"...

...Unless of course, you're running a feisty heist on weird beige foreign neighbour.

I don't often hope that my wife has farted, but I'm praying that the smell coming from the kitchen isn't my dinner!!

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The instructions on the pizza box say:
"Bake in oven for 18-21 minutes"... ...

... ...How do I cook something for minus 3 minutes??

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You paid £4.50 for a coffee!?. . .

. . . Good grief !!! . . . it doesn't even get you drunk!!!

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Is First Degree Murder in Fahrenheit or Celcius.?

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My wife and I really wern't expecting a baby, and then... ...

... ...BAM!!! One goes right across the windscreen.!!.

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If you fail at
everything
you
try, then just
try being a
failure.

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Calories:
(noun) Little creatures who live in your wardrobe and sew your clothes a little bit tighter every night.

Reposted from BadLeprechaun1

How many "Coo's" could a Coo-cha-coo "Coo", before a Kookaburra clued his "Coo"?! ... ... ...

... ONE ... ... ...Yeah - I know, incredible!.. ... ...from just one "Coo"!!

Smart little buggers, those Kookaburra's are!!!

I put the HOT in Psychotic.

Reposted from shimmer_07

List of things ain't nobody got time for:

1. That.

You read this first.

You read this second.

My girlfriend wanted to get a cat.

I didn't want to get a cat.

So we compromised,
and got two cats.

NO!!! ... ... ...

..."How stupid can you be?!"
is NOT a challenge!!

janem803 likes this

Calories:
(noun) Little creatures who live in your wardrobe and sew your clothes a little bit tighter every night.

reposted by BadLeprechaun1

When I make you breakfast in bed please just say thank you...

...I'm fed up of all this, "Who are you!?", and "How did you get in here?!" nonsense.
-_-

Apparently, you're a 'weirdo', or a 'loner', if you go to the cinema by yourself...

...So I brought my three cats, my cockatoo, and my dog, too just in case it IS true.

I cried when my girlfriend chopped up Onions...

...I miss Onions, she was a good dog. :'(

Reposted from anonymous

Of course
I know
that
they know
that
I know,
they know
what
I know...

No!!
I haven't lost my mind...

...it just got scared and ran away.

My friends say I'm terrible at insulting people...

I'll show those potty-panters...

This "o"
came from
nwhere.

Pro Tip #82,539,471:-
Women love being told that they look pretty...

...but not when you're peeping at them through a hole in the changing room wall.

As I gazed deep into her eyes my knees went weak, and my stomach turned to butterflies; that's when I knew...

...I'd drugged the wrong drink.

No, I haven't lost weight

But thanks for thinking I was fat, last time I saw you.