1stWorldPains's Posts

Are you "no texts, no snaps" level single?

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My wife has asked more questions about my life insurance policy since this quarantine has started than the previous 5 years of our marriage.

If I go missing it was her.

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My son just spent 5 minutes asking Siri to bring him a banana. He was pissed when she didn’t bring it to him.

I’ve never related to him so much in my whole life.

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Relationship Status: Quarantined

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Dad Rule #23

When your son turns 13, buy yourself a nice pair of tighty whiteys. Only wear them when your son’s friends are over to embarrass him.

This is our curse.

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Dad Rule #86 -

Double tap them tongs before you BBQ to make sure they still work. Safety first.

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